Friday Fantasy Fun
With much written about Juande’s proposed summer clear-out and the message to the players that the rest of this season is important in shaping the team, I thought we could have a little fun today. Let’s each be Ramos, just for Juande. Get it?
Anyway, what I’d like you to do for our collective amusement and to chip away at the hours until the weekend is put the Tottenham squad into three separate category according as whether or not they should be sold: Untouchable, Wouldn’t Lose Any Sleep and Dust. You’ve no need to write explanations unless you wish but just remember to keep a very pensive face so that everyone in your office thinks you’re doing proper work. Here’s mine:
Untouchable
- Dimitar the Great - Attitude and work rate may be uncertain but there’s no debate over his genius.
- Keano - There’s only one. Robbie I love you.
- King Ledley
- Woodface - Looking like a bargain at whatever we paid for him. An absolute rock
- Bale - 12 appearances, 3 goals; incredible delivery, great pace, decent strength, fearless and already scored against the scum.
- Hutton - “Super-Al” as he is now known in song has looked good so far. Solid play, great work rate, speed, strength. Our best right back.
- JJ - We’ve just begun to see wht he’s made of and I’m certainly not ready to let him go.
- The Man Mountain - Bags of natural talent, just starting to get into shape. Very confident, very smooth. Lots to come.
- Steve - Probably not part of The Bagel’s first XI but definitely a squad player. Can play well almost anywhere on the field. Just too useful and too good to sell.
Wouldn’t Lose Any Sleep
- Chimbondabonda - The Bagel’s got a lot more time for him than most. I like the way he plays and he’s better in the air than most full backs but the odd ill-timed piece of skill and most of all his attitude make him expendable. I’d rather he stayed but as the section says…
- Little Aaron - I wouldn’t like it but I can see the case for his departure. We’d receive a lot of cash for him and there is that fear that this is as good as he gets and that’s just a shade off good enough.
- Lee - Seems like a nice enough bloke and I don’t wince when he’s on the pitch but he hardly excites, now does he?
- Gilberto - Two goals: one for us and one for them. Impossible to tell.
- Tainio - My affections for the Finn, his passion, his determination, the fact he’s a born Yiddo and his heroics against the scum keep him out of the bottom category but one can’t help he’s the Lilywhite version of Polyfiller every time he’s on the pitch.
- Younes Richards - Saved from “Dust” only by the graces of being very young and having only played one season. There’s talent there and already plenty of goals but some serious work needed.
- Prince Kev - Ditto, minus the goals
- Jimmy Tarbuck - Makes the bench a lot but why is he hardly getting on? Why can’t he get himself selected when JJ’s not available. Incredible feet but he needs to fit those skills into the team effort. When’s he going to come through? Still 18 to be fair.
- Safety First - Been found out. Good with Woody or Ledley but can’t cut it on his own. We’ll get someone or ones better and he’ll become the new Tony Gardner.
- Jamie O’Hara - I like him a lot and he’s a very different kind of player for us but by no means untouchable.
- Didier Zee - I can’t quite work our why he’s not in “Dust”. Must be something to do with his little dances when we win, shameless crowd pleaser that he is. He’s certainly not good enough for the first team but does have that certain “professional” string to his bow that can be useful if we get really desperate.
- Chris Gunter - Who is he?
Dust
- Robbo - Time at the bar Robbo. The single best distributor of the ball I’ve ever seen, goal scorer extrordinair but being a keeper is first and foremoest about defending. I’d say keep him around but I can’t see the point.
- Czech Republic’s No.2 - Needs to be pushig for the No.1 jersey. Isn’t even nudging.
- Sergei Bent - Wrong player, wrong club, please leave.
- Baby Face - Faithful servant but time to go
- Benoit Who - Too far down the pecking order to bother with
- Ricardo Rocha - Do we really still own him?
- Stalteri - Superflous to requirements
I’ve a feeling that Ramos may be more ruthless than I, but then I’m a sentimental old fool.
The Bagel.
March 14th, 2008 at 8:44 am
for anyone who wants to save £20 off a spurs shirt…
http://www.marshallward.co.uk/rf/mar/navigation/product.do?D=411278038&Ntt=483999451&Np=1&Dx=mode%2bmatchall&Ntx=mode%2bmatchall&N=0&Nty=1&i=427417577&Ntk=group_search&groupId=411278038&product=411278038&Nu=this_product&scuId=481384813&paymentOpt=117
March 14th, 2008 at 10:25 am
I think you should have included one more category inbetween untouchable and lose no sleep called a ‘if they left a small tear would come to my eye and then gently recede’
I would put Lennon in this category. Maybe he is just a reincarnation of Jose Dominquez with more interesting eyebrows but he can get past people like few can. Also I rate O’Hara and would put him in this category along with Tarbuck who show promise and is only 18, like Walcott he will come good in the end.
Otherwise I agree with you and also my boss sits next to me…..
March 14th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Untouchable
Berbatov – Pure class, but reminds me of Ginola in terms of (non) work rate.
Woodgate – Never realised how good he was until I got to see so much of him.
King – Best defender I have ever seen.
Bale – Still only 18, amazing talent. £10 mill bargain.
Hutton – Solid both defensively and attacking wise, and is only going to get better.
Taarabt – From the glimpses ive seen he could well be top drawer, definitely worth keeping.
Keane – Never been his greatest fan (always preferred Defoe), but he loves the club and works hard enough to warrant his place. I also believe he is integral to keeping Dimitar at the club.
Zokora – A hard working player who can play in a variety of positions, worth keeping even if just a squad player. And for penalties.
Chimbonda – As above. Apart from penalties.
Jenas – Juande seems to be improving him, if only he would shoot more when in decent positions. And leave the corners/free kicks to others.
Huddlestone – Already a class distributor.
Wouldn’t Lose Any Sleep
Lennon – Have a soft spot for the little fella, but will he ever work on his end product?
Malbranque – Good at running around in circles, works hard, but not the left mid we need to take us forward.
Boateng – Settling in period, unable to judge yet.
Kaboul – Young, decent on the ball, an attacking threat. Will improve under Ramos.
Bent – Convinced he will turn the corner. Plus I always liked the under used Rebrov.
Dawson – No where near as good as the main two, and I doubt he will ever get near them.
O’ Hara – Break in season, has done well. What position is he though?
Tainio – Solid player, but that seems about it.
Gilberto – Needs time.
Gunter – Looks decent, not played enough to judge.
Dust
Lee – The left back with no left foot.
Robinson – Never going to be the keeper of two years ago again.
Cerny – Alnwick has got to be the better second choice.
Gardner – Feels like he has already gone.
Ghaly – Who?
Stalteri – Thanks for the memory.
Assou-Ekotto – Invisible man.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Untouchable:
Prefer if they didn’t go:
Dimitar Berbatov - Lazy or relaxed? Everone has their own opinion. Mine would be he’s the latter.
Robbie Keane - Great work rate, passion and skill, has been consistantly good.
Malbranque - After the strikers, has to be our best attacking threat, would like to see him played in the centre though.
Gareth Bale - Had a fantastic start to his premiership career, can undoubtedly be a great player for us.
Woodgate - Has been solid at the back, makes defending look effortless.
King - If we could guarantee him being fit he’d be in the first catagory.
Hutton - I do believe we’ve got ourselves a dependable right back with this boy.
You’re still only young / We need a good squad:
Jamie O’Hara - Has made the step up superbly would like to hold on to this boy.
J Jenas - Work rate 20/20, technical ability 2/20. Is not an attacking midfielder, refuses to put his laces on the ball when shooting, must do more.
Lennon - Can/will he get better? Pace alone won’t cut it for us, needs to add more to his game.
THudd - Another youngster with talent, I honestly believe the more he matures the better he’ll get.
KPB/Kaboul - Haven’t impressed so far but they are young lads experiencing their first season in the prem, would be unfair to judge so early.
Taarabt - Undoubted skill, sensibly has been kept out of the firing line untill he matures wouldn’t want such a young talent to endure the wrath of the fickle.
Gunter - done ok, hopefully will be given time, still young.
Dawson - Solid but slow, Daws has done well for us in the past and alongside a faster experianced player can still do a job.
Chimbonda - He has his detractors but has turned in some good preformances for us, a usefull squad member.
Zokora - Was never really going to replace Carrick, has done well when played out of position, a squad utility man.
Robbinson - I don’t think he’d settle for number 2 but we need a better number 1
Thank you and goodbye:
Tainio - A Yiddo, never spectacular but done a job, glad he got his Wembley moment with us, I wish him well.
Stalteri - Shades of our mediocre past, time to move on.
Gardner - Hopefully to make his loan deal permanent
Cerny - Was only ever a bench warmer never really pushed Robbo.
Lee - A right footer, weak in the tackle playing left side defence!
BAE - ??
Gilberto - hardly the right age to be needing time to adjust.
Bent - I’d like to keep such a prolific goalscorer but it’s embarrassing having a £16m reserve player, I know it’s not his fault but he just doesn’t fit.
Rocha - Cheers mate, bye.
Ghaly - Wrong attitude.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Loose Jenas now,,,Open your eyes …he’s no good wanders off too much.Lennon can’t cross a knife and fork.Zokora go.Get some WORLD class players in and then we shall reach champions league status…If we keep Jenas we won’t ….I will bet anyone
March 14th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Untouchable - wouldn’t lose any sleep - dust.
Honestly I really wouldn’t lose any sleep. It doesn’t matter who you bring to the lane you’ve easily got yourself a top four finish with the quality you have already. I’d go one further and say you’ll have it won by next April. What with Darren Bent, Woodface!! and the boys. And the reason you truly are a great club. And winning the milk cup has proved this. You are amazing every last one of you. And I just want to say you were so unlucky when the heroic Jenus missed his pen. So next year League and FA cup double, year after Champions League too. And then you can get back to being the biggest club in the world and not just Arsenals embarrassing rivals with the most full of themselves fans in the country.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Untouchable:
Berbatov- The supreme
Keano- The legend
Lennon- The promise
Bale- The prodigy
Steeeeeeeve- The work horse
King- The king
Woodgate- The hair
Wouldn’t Lose Any Sleep
Huddlestone
Teemu anderton
JJ
Tarbuck
O hara
hutton - Must see more to judge
Gunter - Needs more time
Dawson
Gilberto - Needs time
Rocha
Dust
lee ( just not rated by anyone)
salty (will be good for my nerves)
ghaly ( is still here?)
Sergei Bent ( Just not gonna work out)
Gardner ( Must go and fast)
Zokora ( There is no point to this guy)
March 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Sorry seemed to have dropped
Robbo and Cerny……
Id keep Cerny as a number two but
Robbo has to go…
Sorry Robbo but BYE!
March 14th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Untouchable:
King - No further comment necessary
Berbatov - of course - the man is an absolute genius, and we will be totally gutted if he goes.
Keano - Yiddo through and through
Bale - You don’t spend £10m on a kid with his talent not to loose any sleep over if he goes…
Woodgate - Finally proving he’s one of the best english defenders around
Huddlestone - I’ve got a feeling he’s going to be a massive player (no pun intended) for Spurs for years to come
Not exactly untouchable, but would shed a tear if they left:
Lennon - I get really exciting every time he gets teh ball. Problem is, i tend to get enormously disappointed every time he’s in the last 3rd of the pitch…
JJ - loving his work recently, and he’s even started banging some in - needs more for an attacking midfielder tho’ to move into ‘untouchable’
Hutton - Early impressions extremely favourable.
Robbo - recognise that he’s not on his best form, unconvinced it will return, but would definitely shed a tear if he left - he’s been such a great servant, and one of the few with the cockrel in his heart as well as on his chest.
O’Hara - I love this guy, but too soon to tell.
Steeeeeeeve - Best chant in the premiership - not the best left sided midfielder tho…
Wouldn’t Lose Any Sleep:
Teemu
Tarbuck
Gunter
Dawson
Gilberto
Rocha
Zokora - he does a reasonable job of whatever’s asked of him.
Dust:
Lee - just not good enough
Stalteri
Ghaly - get rid immediately
Sergei Bent - doesn’t fit
Gardner - baggage
Chimbondage - excellent player, really impressed with his play, can’t get over his ‘it’s all about the money’ comment - gotta go (hopefully on the dole)
Cerny - not good enough as a number 2, let alone as a number 1.
March 14th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Untouchable
Berbatov – Just wish he’d use all his potential all the time and would stop moping.
Keano. Leano, Meano, Supremo. A fan favorite.
Woodgate & King are almost in the same bracket: solid and invaluable, IF they can stay fit!
Bale – Ditto and will improve with experience.
Hutton – I wish we had more scotts in the squad…he is serious (the anti-Didier Zee) and means business. My only fear, given his reluctance to sign at first in early January, is that he’ll be a fair- weather-friend.
Huddlestone – Fine distribution, getting much better at set pieces, uses his muscle to make help counter-balance action man Lennon.
Ohara, is learning fast. Cool and collected beyond his years.
Dispensible:
Jenas shows some real passion at times he needed for now, but could be replaced
Malbranque – Works hard, but consitently not good enough to compete in mid field at the top of the table.
Boateng – seems more concerned about his appearance than the team.
DZ — holds a place until we get someone better (who can score and keepm their composure)
Kaboul –has potential but Ramos can buy someone better.
Lennon, sad to see him go, he is a delight to watch when he’s in possession, but he falls over too much…last touch is often desperate.
Dawson – never impressed me. handy as back up…but not good enough for first 11.
Gilberto – hard to tell yet…think it would be fair to review his case next winter. He seems to have some wisdom and power.
Gunter – ditto, but seems too inexperienced in top level play to play with confidence.
Alnwick, would make a good back up keeper. When Robbo and Cerny leave.
Adios:
Danien Camolli, please leave! Although he signed Dimitar, Bale and Alnwick. He seems like a prick and has stuck us with Bent, Benoit Assou-Ekottu Ricardo Rocha, Hossam Ghaly, and Adel Tarbuck
Robbo, like him and sad to see him go, but he’s not well rounded enough. Poor positioning on set pieces, panics when opposition get possession in the box.
Lee – He has speed and can position him self well, but is too small in and beatable in the back line and can’t use both feet or cross effectively.
Stalteri – Has gone down hill, and looked pathetic when he started against Sunderland in January. Take off, aye, hoser.
March 14th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
bit disappointed to read this post to be honest - and absolutely love this blog!
what an achievement and level of progress we’ve made this season (from the initial doldrums)
what a fantastic squad we have - certainly compared with our recent past.
the number of top quality English and British players - compared with the arse - should make us all beam!
even contemplating waving goodbye to the likes of Dawson, Lennon and Robinson, having idolised them for the past 2 seasons is beyond me..
Sure Ramos is his own man, with a ruthless streak and will make his own changes and bring his personality to the squad - BUT please - let’s not have such short memories - otherwise we can hardly sneer at players who show zero loyalty to clubs in general.
March 14th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Sputnik, I appreciate your sentiment, but I think the mentality to win is extremely important and it has been lacking in its purest form for too long. Nostalgia and compassion are endearing qualities, but they have to be matched with a sober view of real potential and quality; Keano offers the best of both worlds (he is lovable and does his job) and we all seem to agree. Yet, other players like Dawson and Lennon (at least until he gets a consitent final touch) are not going to allow us to compete in Champions League or at the top of table. I want Spurs to win give their loyal and loving fans what they deserve. I have been in love with Spurs since I was six (33 years ago!). Spurs have the best manager I can remember. They have the money. They need to make US proud and spend it wisely. That means tough choices have to be made!
March 14th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
UNTOUCHABLE!!
*Dimi - The most skillful player we’ve had at the Lane for years, please, please, please stay!!!!!
*Keano - Turning into Mr Tottenham!
*Bale - The only bright spark of the first few torrid months of the season. Potential to be world class.
*Ledley - What we’d give for him to be Fit!
*Woody - Other than Bale, signing of the season.
*Hutton - Looks the real deal, plus he’s a right back who doesn’t sulk, bonus!!
*JJ - Massive improvement under Pedro Nicholson, just needs to look after the ball better.
*Tank - Always been a massive fan of his, never going to be small, but f*** me can he ping a ball!
*Steed - Massively under-rated one of my players of the year.
*Taarabt - Skillful as ya like, definately one for the future.
Wouldn’t lose sleep over
*Robbo - Close call to being deadwood, Must have the best 3 months of his career if he’s guna stay.
*Lennon - So much potential, if only he could use his Left foot… or cross… or shoot…
*Daws - My player of the season last year, just scary how poor he is without Ledley beside him.
*Teemu - Great squad player, not sure if that’l be enough to keep him though.
*Titus Kaboul - At one stage this season he had me begging for us to bring back Gary Doc things got so bad! But if he’s the U21 skipper of France though, he ca’t be that bad surely…….?
*Rocha - Couldn’t give a monkeys to be fair!
*Gunter - Will he a get a chance to impress now we have Hutton?
*Didier - Never been his biggest fan, brilliant defensively but his atrocious distribution makes it impossible to see him in our first team next year.
*O’Hara - Massively impressed with him, his huge disapointment not to be in the cup final squad brought a tear to my eye! Another squad player.
*Gilberto - Not seen enough of him yet, probabally our best cover for Bale.
DEADWOOD!!
*Stalteri - Officially the worst full back I have ever seen at any level, absolute garbage!!
*Chimbomba - Good fullback but shocking attitude. His showing at the cup final was the final straw! F*** off you ungrateful c***!
*Bent - Ent that bad surely, but never going to challenge Dracula for a starting berth, which ent enough for £16.5m.
*Lee - A left back who has never once used his left foot, runs Stalteri close to worst fullback in England.
*Gardner - Always got my head in my hands whenver he’s near the ball, good luck Moyes!
*Cerny - Proved he ent good enough for the premier league
*Prince Kev - Got to be honest, looks pants!
*Assou Ekoto - The new sicknote!
March 15th, 2008 at 8:02 am
I would like to keep everyone except the following….
Chimbonda
Lee YP
Robinson
Cerny
Gardner
Ghaly
Stalteri
Assou-Ekotto
Gilberto
Kaboul
Prince
Bent
However, I would really like to see Lennon stays as well as Bale. I like the thought of 2 players flying down the flanks.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Don’t know if I can agree with you about Aaron ‘John’ Lennon, Bagel.
Kaboul should go - I can’t see the potential ever being realised, perhaps on the continent, but not here.
In other news, we really seem to be after Tiago. Does anybody know if he’ll be worth it?
Also - had we won would not Robbo be hailed as a hero with his penalty save? I feel sorry for him…