Lovely Lederhosen
Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer. Are they gluttons for punishment? How to destroy two of your club heroes in one firmly thrown stone. Passion they may have and even some experience but not a brain cell between them and I’d say the same for the Barcodes board if they actually make to appoint them. Why is it the Newcastle fans look back to Keegan’s work at their club over 15 years ago rather than his managerial career since? Sure he got Fulham and City promoted but he didn’t do much with them when they made it to the Premiership and he’s going to be going up against a very different league than when he last took the reigns of the Small Club from Scotland. Personally, what I like best about the story is that he’s still wearing the same shell suit he was when he “Loved it” back in 1996. Good luck to whoever takes role - not so much a poisoned challis as a straight bullet to the head.
But Spurs is our business and a fairly sorry one it was on Saturday when we were firmly beaten by the filth from the west side of town. It’s not like we expected to win but an indication that we were closing the gap would have been nice, as would a goal. That ends our 28 game run of scoring. I always liked that about our current side. Sure we ship ‘em but no one can stop our strikers. Let’s hope we can redress that one in a few weeks’ time when Chelsea come down our yard.
Naturally, it’s all the sales at the moment and one of my personal nightmares is coming all too true. It’s confirmed that we’ve made an £8m offer for waste of space Stewart Downing. The ‘Boro bore said:
“I am aware and flattered by the interest from Tottenham.”
“But until Middlesbrough and Tottenham agree terms I remain a Middlesbrough player and am fully committed to helping Gareth Southgate and the team any way I can.”
Unfortunately, the best way for Downing to help would be to leave and I’m afraid that that’s exactly what he’ll do. Worse still is that our management welcome his arrival with open arms. The Radio, Gus Poyet, saying what a good player he is and how much he’d like him at the club. What, to start? Are you kidding me? Just look at his stats. He’s had 1 assist and 1 goal so far this season. Almost all of our first XI have a better record, even the defenders, but let’s give the guy a break. He made 7 last season which put him 14th in the assists table, two places behind Little Aaron I might add but with 3 more than Steeeeeve. In all that though, he picked up just 2 goals. Steve’s already bagged 3 in this campaign.
The dude’s just not good enough. He’s ok. He can cross it but he’s just another mediocre signing that we simply don’t need and won’t use. Come Comolli, be serious. Keep the £8m and put it towards a real coup; someone to wow us in whichever position they play. Downing? The thought puts me off my food and I love food.
The transfer story of the day, as far a we’re concerned is over Brazilian striker Dave who has rebuffed offers from PSG and our good selves after bids were accepted by his club, Lyon. He said:
“For the moment, I have only received two offers, from Paris and Tottenham. PSG made the first offer to me. I refused it. With Tottenham, it is the same.”
“Meetings have taken place with my brother…”
Oh no. Not good news. His agent is a family member. Never trust a player whose agent is a family member. It becomes an exercise in screw all clubs involved for as much money as possible, leave after one season and do it all again the following summer. It’s how they fund Christmas.
“…and I think that we are going to see things materialise by Wednesday.”
Now, what’s that supposed to mean? Well, on the surface, we’ll know by Wednesday but what’s his game? We know from Lyon that they’ve had offers from other clubs and maybe Dave has his sights on a bigger move but I’d heard all he wanted to do is go to PSG? So, why the games? Personally, I’ve got two explanations:
1) He wants a better offer of personal terms from PSG or
2) and I think this is more likely, he has no intention of going anywhere and is waiting to talk to his current club on Wednesday to sign a contract worth even more cash than the one he is currently on.
Either way it spells a very Happy Christmas at the Dave family household and a bit of a waste of everybody’s time.
Strangely enough, this is exactly the kind of game that Levy & Co. are playing as well according to La Liga outfit Espanyol. Our courting of their 25-year-old centre-half, Daniel Jarque, has been a very public affair - all too public if you ask the Spanish side themselves. It’s been leaked to the English press that Jarque was spotted in London for talks over the weekend but according to the Spanish club, their man has been in Barcelona the whole time and was even in hospital today having an X-ray on a broken toe.
Espanyol believe that Jarque-gate is simply a smoke screen covering whatever real deal is going on behind the scenes at WHL, probably over another Spanish based player. God knows if it’s true but I love the cloak and dagger of it all. I was quite into the idea of the experienced head of Jarque but if he’s merely the decoy, the real target could be quite special. That or Espanyol could be full of shit.
An alternative answer, a least for the time being, would be a loan move for out of favour Bayern Munich defender Daniel Van Buyten. The Belgian centre-half hasn’t been getting the games he’s after and it’s no shame with competition in the form of Lucio and Argentine international Martin Demichelis. Van Buyten stands at a whopping 6′5″, putting him into Baby Face Gardner altitude but weighs half a stone heavier at 13.5. That’s a big lad. Here’s his head…
…completely and utterly embarrassed. “No one’ll see, Daniel, I promise,” she must have said.
Van Buyten had a pretty good loan spell at Man City back in 2004 but he may be a little reticent to return to the UK given that during his last stay he was fleeced to the tune of a six figure sum by workers at the Co-operative bank, who themselves will be just about finishing their jail terms during which time you can imagine just how very co-operative they were forced to be.
I don’t reckon this deal will ever materialise. Too much hearsay, not quoted comments from anyone involved and a whole league worth of clubs connected with the player. We’ll get some cover but it won’t be him.
Snow…bagels….snow….bagels
The Bagel.
January 14th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Maybe Downing can teach Lee to cross his first ball. The idea is to lift the ball from the wings into the danger area around the penalty box.
January 14th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I totally agree Bagel - Downing - good grief. Surely this isn’t the hand of Juande…?
January 14th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
And why is no other club falling over themselves to buy him?
“We’ve got Tony, Tony Galvin, Tony Galvin on the wing.”
Maybe Downing should try rolling down his socks?
January 14th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
We’ve been chasing Downing syndrome for 2 years now, I’m pretty confident the young Englishman is a target of Comolli’s.
Just a quick question regarding Comolli, if his role at the club is to bring in the players, irrespective of who the manager is, shouldn’t it be that when Ramos arrived he’d no need to hand Comolli a list of 30 players that he (Ramos) feels he needs? After all, the ‘tacticly inept’ Jol managed to get the ones we have to 5th twice, wouldn’t Ramos’ impact been much more immediate? After all, we should have the right players in place as Comolli has been purchasing for 2 years.
January 15th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Unfortunately, I always end up back at Uncle Frank, bringer of Little Aaron, Big Bad Tom, Michael Carrick et al. To be fair to Comolli, he bagged Berbatov & Bale and I’ve a funny feeling even Arneson wanted Downing. Perhaps there’s a good player inside just waiting to leap out when he leaves ‘Boro but I doubt it.
The Bagel.