Beef Bagel

With a reported deadline of Saturday, we’ve just 75 hours or so to secure the services of another decent centre half, if indeed we plan to buy left sider Ashley Young. Life hasn’t been made any easier, given the current defender drought, by another club declaring themselves thirsty for cover. Chelsea are keeping the prices tags nice and high but now Rat Face Roeder (with whom The Bagel does have no problem, it’s just that he does have the face of a rat) is having a nibble at the same slim pickings and naturally is willing to spend more of that silly wage money in order to get his man. Specifically, he’s sniffing around the cheese that is Anton Ferdinand and a very expensive one at a stinky £7m. A lot of bread for a lot of cheese.

Surely though if we really want a centre half, we can get one. It may cost more than MJ & Comolli had planned but there’s got to be an acceptable price out there for either Upson, Davies, Ferdinand, Ben Haim, Sylvain Dustbin and whoever else I’ve missed out.

There is a fresh link today between our good selves and an Argentinian centre half, who’s currently heading, tackling and most probably shirt pulling, diving and faking his way around La Liga. Fabricio Coloccini is a typical South American haired player, owned by Deportivo but not played by them as much as he would like. At 6′ tall and just over 12 stone, he’s around the minimum size for the job but thr 24 year old has played near around the top of the sport with games for the Argentina national side and a contract at AC Milan a few years ago, so can probably jump with the best of them. Here’s his head…

…made entirely of rubber and hair like a Playdo barber set.

Despite his credentials, Fabricio has not started the last three games and has reportedly had issue’s with the Deportivo manager, fuelling speculation he may be readying for a move, with Spurs high on the list. But the player has had this to say:

“I am happy at Deportivo and I want to stay here,”

“I am not going to change to another team at this moment, it’s too soon and if I can stay, better.”

“I understand that maybe some people could be surprised when I wasn’t included in the team by the coach, but he is the one who takes each decision and we have to respect them.

“I don’t have any problem with the coach.”

Very good professional words. Still, doesn’t really mean a thing though. More than anything, what this say to me is that he’d rather stay but he could handle a move but more than anything else he’s covering his arse in case he ends up staying and doesn’t want the fans to turn against him. Loyalty is the key and that he has clearly displayed. So, is this going to happen? I severely doubt it. I reckon this is the last we’ll hear of Fabricio Coloccini until he lines up against us in some European competition or another and he gets away with some dirty foul on one of our players by holding his palms up in innocence to the ref. Yeah but we’d love it if he did that for us.

The good news here is that Captain Ledley’s well on course as he comes back from what turns out to be a foot injury. And there was I, thinking it was an issue with that troublesome knee of his. That’s a hell of a relief. I simply couldn’t live without Ledley King.

Ashley Young seems to be the only real target to plug that left wing gap this time around. Although Stewart Downing was spotted in talks with his agent and manager last week, ‘Boro chairman Keith Lamb has come out with a fairly definitive sounding statement:

“We have had no contact with Tottenham with regard to Stewart Downing and nor do we expect to.”

Nor do we expect to, eh? That certainly sounds like he knows something we don’t or that MJ has worked out something that we do, i.e. that Downing isn’t that good.

All the talk this morning though, as inspired my mud slingers The Mirror, is about Mido and his fall from favour at WHL. MJ is reported to have had enough of the Egyptian, who’s starting to strut like one about the dressing room, presumably trying to say he deserves to start before Berbatov. The article suggests there’s been a clash of the titans between the Giant Dutchman and Hossam the Wonder Horse and indeed that Mido’s been missing a few training sessions as well.

I doubt there’s as much truth in this as the tabloid would like to pretend but I can certainly believe that MJ may be trying to upgrade the quality of our fourth choice striker and second string big man. The Bagel’s not privy to what goes on behind the doors at WHL (unbelievable isn’t it but I do have a plan of infiltration) but after a good show last season and a few useful goals so far this campaign, he deserves a chance before being thrown out on his ear. On the other hand if we can pick up Darren Bent instead, then what the hell.

Chances of us selling Mido this window? Slim to none. Why? Because we wont find a replacement and so says The Bagel.

Walk like a bagel.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 at 2:50 pm and is filed under Transfer News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.