Know Your Enemy - Aalborg BK
When we drew tonight’s opponents a few months ago, I was hoping to for a team that looked a little like this…
…but Aalborg Boldspilklub, as they are officially known, appear to be nothing of the sort. They may not have the same star-studded dressing room as we nor boast a pedigree that goes back further than a two time Grand Champion at Krufts but they do have the one thing that we ourselves are missing right now, confidence.
The town of Aalborg itself is the nation’s fourth largest city after Copenhagen and…anyone know any other places in Denmark? It dates back to about 700 AD, has a population of over 120,000 - no excuses for not filling out the away stand - and is famous for its grain, cement and fish. But before you go crossing Aalborg off your ‘places to visit’ list, it’s worth knowing that it has the highest number of nightclubs, bars and tattoo parlours per capita than anywhere else in the country. Add kebab shops and you’ve basically got the perfect night out.
The club qualified through the Intertoto Cup - the only competition more ridiculous than the UEFA - by beating the Finnish side who have just stolen Wisla Plok’s crown as The Bagel’s favourite named football team, FC Honka. I tell you these Scandinavians think we’ll believe anything.
Sitting pretty at the top of the Danish Superleague, second only to FC Copenhagen by goal difference, they’ll be positively buzzing before they come out onto a stage bigger than many of the younger players will have ever experienced. Like all visitors to Premiership grounds, they’ll know tonight’s a chance to turn some heads. They’re no strangers to beating the odds after overcoming Sampdoria to reach the group stages and holding Group G top seeds, Anderlecht, to a draw in Denmark.
But don’t just take it from me. Here’s what adorable mentalist, Gus Poyet, has to say on the matter:
“I’m telling you now, people will be surprise about how good this team is. It’s not going to be spectacular, it’s not going to be maybe too enjoyable to watch but they know exactly what they have to do to win games. So we need to be really concentrate, to be at our best, to play quick, good, forward football and not just to score a goal but to score a few to make sure we win the game.”
Love that broken English. It’s like listening to Tony Montana with a helium balloon. For the full effect you can check out his interview with Five Live.
A win for us tonight by more goals than however many Getafe put past Hapoel will see us top the group, but a win for the Danes means they’ll leap frog us and into third at the very least. With no Ledley of course, no Baby Face and no Rocha, there’s another place in the squad for the heroically named Troy Archibald-Henville now that Younes Kaboul is suffering from what the Radio described as “a little groin problem”. I’m sure Steeeeeeeve could give him the number of a guy who can sort that one out. Central-halves aside though, we’ve basically got a full squad, minus the Little Yiddo, although with Juande’s current substitution habits it could be anyone that ends up in the heart of our defence. Watch out Little Aaron.
Something is rotten in the state of bagel.
The Bagel.