Beef Bagel

Ahhhh so long, it’s been so damn long. I’ll tell you all about The Bagel’s comings and goings when I have the time but there’s news to discuss.

Frankly, I’ve been in shock since Monday just after midnight when I read the headline in the Mail online that Keano had handed in a transfer request over the rumours about Rafa’s requests. I felt sick to my stomach. If I think about it too long I still do. Robbie is not only very special to Tottenham but he’s very special to The Bagel. The day I decided to buy my season ticket was the day he signed for Spurs and I’ll never forget him holding his Tottenham shirt aloft with a feeling in everyone’s hearts that we’d bought an exceptional player, one looking for a place to call home and that’s exactly what the Lane has become since he arrived.

No one tries harder than Keano and no one can do what he does. He is unique in style, in shape, in attitude and it’ll be one of the sadest days of my life when he leaves Spurs. We don’t sing “All I want is a team of Robbie Keanes” for no reason. I’ve always marveled at the way other teams haven’t coveted him before and in some ways it’s no surprise that finally one of them has seen sense. I’m sure he’d be a legend at Anfield. You simply cannot resist his charms, his chop-suey and his little Irish jigs. The thing is, he’s not going to go.

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The Bagel is an uncle. My sister, the Croissant, has just given birth to the bun in her oven, which turned out to be a little Brioche, after a week and a half more cooking time than the recipe had stated. Yes, there is a new world’s smallest Yiddo.

She’s clearly a fan of good football after waiting for a good, skillful-playing team to be crowned European Champions before deciding it was safe to enter the world. Unfortunately, it did mean missing the game last night but then the Brioche is obviously aware that The Bagel shall be taking her along to as many games at the Lane as she desires. Great result.

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Now, before I do anything else, I met a splendid chap not too long ago who has a website called Play4ateam.com - that’s it there in the title and you can even see it in my links just down there on the right too.

I haven’t played 5-a-side footy for a little while now and I know what a bitch it is trying to find somewhere to play with and people to play with. So, if any of you out there are looking to join any kind of team, from football to frisbee, are looking for new members for your own sports crew or anything at all with actually playing these games rather than just berating others for not being good enough at them from the comfort of your own sofa behind several stacks of tortillas with assorted dips, then get yourself to Play4ateam and play for a team.

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You guys and gals are practically doing my job for me. Wonderful to see. So yes, Mario Santana is all all but a Yiddo. Don’t get too excited just yet though. Levy & Co. have reached an agreement with Mazza’a club Fiorentina for £4m. That doesn’t mean we’ve reached an agreement with him. He may not even want to come to the UK or Spurs, which is more or less what happened with Eto’o.

In all likelihood he’s going to be keen and even Fiorentina sporting director Pantaleo Corvino said:

“I expect Santana to join Spurs within the next few days as he has been offered a three or four-year contract in London.”

The trouble is, there are one or tow things bothering me about this deal.

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According to Planet Spurs, they have “reason to believe” that our first fixture of next season will be away at the Riverside at 3pm on Saturday 16th August. Now before anyone starts jumping up and down or jiggling about a bit - unless you’re female; I’d be happy for you to jiggle as much as you like - let’s be healthily suspicious of this “reason to believe”. We don’t know what the reason is. It may simply be a reason to believe that they’ll get a shit load of traffic, it may be they actually do know someone on the inside or it maybe that they dressed themselves up like tea ladies and spent an afternoon eavesdropping on the Premier League’s meeting in between fetching more Viennesse Fingers and and straightening their wigs. But, now that the caveat’s over…

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A little confession. LB and I have been well and truly hooked into the Apprentice for the last couple of months. Now, you may have been following and you may have not but a gentleman by the name of Lee McQueen (good name) won the whole shebang last night and we were rooting for him because not only does he seem like a nice enough bloke, but Lee is a big fat Yiddo…

It’s actually a pretty dull video whether you watched the Apprentice or not but but that’s irrelevant. The fact remains that the winner is Yiddo.

The Bagel.

Thanks for posting that last comment Brownpants, I was just about to have a heart attack after I read we were supposedly considering a swap deal of Little Aaron Lennon (!) plus cash (!!) for Anton Frigging Ferdinand (!!!). What a nasty thought.

Thankfully, there’s nothing quite as horrific in the rest of the days news, although there is a hell of a lot of quick business, in which case, I shall get to it quickly.

We can knock one keeper out of the running as can every other mo-fo that was after Bolton blocker Jussi Jaaskelainen, which is a bit of a shame. Clearly a glutton for punishment or under some hideous delusion that the Trotters are going to be good again, his agent Peter Harrison has come out and said that the Finnish loon has gone and done the unthinkable by extending his contract at the Reebok.

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That’s how I feel when I read all the rumours about that Ferdinand creature being top of Comolli’s defensive shopping list at £6m pounds. You know, probably not bad in the air with his paper mache head but pretty much all he’s got aside the really annoying voice.

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Apologies for the interruption over the weekend - server issues but normal Beef Bagel service has resumed once more. Good work on signing up to Twitter those that have. What we all need to do is follow each other and make sure your mobile phones are set up to receive updates from our community. Then, if anyone spots any hot Spurs news - no pun intended - you can post it on Twitter via SMS through your phone or from computer. Then everyone else will receive the news through SMS and we’ll all be up to date wherever we are, and that includes if you’re abroad. The only cost at all is if you post a comment - a Tweet, I believe they’re called - by text and that’s just whatever your normal text cost is.

So, obviously if we sign anyone, any particularly hot rumours, if you see a player out and about or anything you see or hear that other Spurs fans would want to know about, then Twitter it. Now, to make sure you know who’s part of our community and who to follow, we can all use the same picture. This one…

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I suppose with our chat, that we’ve all still been enjoying this morning, I should actually give Rangers keeper Allan McGregor the full Bagel, you know, seeing as the Perfect Juan is supposedly preparing a £9m bid for the Hugh Hefner of goalies.

Allan James McGregor was born on the streets of Edinburgh. Well, in one of the hospitals more likely but it makes him sound tough but tough he must be because at 6′ tall he’s effectively a midget in the keeping world and he’s not even 12 stone either; 11st 9lbs is what I’m reading and that makes him about the size of a Chimbonda minus the corn rolls. Here’s his head…

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