The summer sales start here
Apologies for not finishing the match report yesterday. It’s been a long season for us all and like the team, it seems I faded away at the end. Now, I was going to finish it in my precious hour today but how could I possibly when the transfer window has opened with such a bang that the glass has shattered and they’ll need these next three months to fight the flow of players diving in and out before they can seal it up again? So, Cerny. Gone. Like a rat out of an aqueduct. Voom! Off to QPR and a Hoop he shall be. Good place to go and I think we’ve all done very well out that bit of business.
The Czech Republic No.2 made a pretty good show of it on Sunday under a some heavy Liverpool fire. We could have done a lot worse for a second string keeper and he never once complained, always clapping the fans as he warmed up at half time. Nice guy good attitude. Good luck Radek.
The other done deal for Jamie O who’s signed on with us for another 3 years presumably for a lot more money and with less of a chance of being loaned out to Milwall any time soon. Personally, I’d like to see some technical development unless he’s content to be the new Tainio. My heart still sinks when I see Jamie at left back.
That’s all that’s concrete so far but, according more than just a few sources, we’re nanometers aways from securing the services of highly rated Crystal Palace attacking midfielder, John Bostock. At the tender and achne-filled age of 16 and a half, the England U17 captain stands at 6′1″ and 11st but he’s going to get bigger! Here’s his head at Nautical School in Blackfriars which he currently attends…
…needlessly disrupting a perfectly good geography lesson. See me afterwards Bostock.
John made his name as the youngest player ever to pull on the 1st team Palace shirt - the club that he supports - at the 15 and 283 days last October and has since made a quite a few appearances.
According to former Palace manager and Yiddo, Peter Taylor, “Bostock is quick, has a decent left foot and an excellent range of passing. He’s pretty strong too,” and according to John’s PE teacher, “He is very good academically — an A star pupil without question — and he has university potential if he decides to go down that route. He is gifted athletically and he could be an international sprinter — he holds the record for the Lambeth Schools 110metre hurdles.” Nice. Sounds rather like my school reports accept the stuff about the athletic ability and the omission of the word “lazy”.
John’s currently sitting his GCSEs - good lad; no one likes a dull footballer eg: Gabriel Agbonlabore - but he is expected to make a £5m move our way and if you’re lucky you may just catch him at Liverpool St on his way from his Camberwell home to our Chigwell training facility. I imagine we’ll try to negotiate some kind of £3.5m option in £1 payments over the next millennium but I should think we’ll fold and cough up soon enough.
A rather disappointing season doesn’t seem to have put us off our annual efforts to sign Blackburn left-sided wizard Morten Gamst Harkit with a rumour from the Mail that the Norwegian eighties heart-throb is number uno on the Perfect Juan’s hit list. Unfortunately, Slackburn have already carefully prepared their rejection of our unmade £4m bid - unsurprisingly seeing as not even £10m would tempt them last time around - but I’ve a feeling they’re ready to cash in on the out of favour 26-year-old for something closer to £7m.
MGP has looked like a classic example of a player in need of a change of scenary all year and I’ll put money done that this time around, we get out man. I’d also wager that his rebirth under Ramos will be something to behold. I’d fancy the selection headache between him and Capel.
So much news and so little time damn it. Season ticket prices are out today and it looks like we’ll be paying on average an extra £3 per game with around £60 added to the cost from last season. Ah the joys of having to fund an ambitious club. Now, you’ll be hearing and reading a lot about how we may just keep Dimitar the Great. We wont. Let me make that clear right now. It’s all part of the plan to get his price as high as possible. Everyone at the club has clearly been told to remain tight lipped so that any potential suitors get the idea that they’ll have to offer big bucks to prise him away from our clutches. You’ll read quotes like…
“I was waving as well and I am not leaving,” from Crazy Gus - great answer by the way - and things from the players like…
“I am only talking about players who are coming in, not players who are going. That’s up to the manager and what he wants to do,” as quoted from the memo by Keano.
Dimi is leaving and after a moment of clarity on Sunday, The Bagel realised it would be a mistake if he stayed. He doesn’t want to play for us anymore and all we’ll get is half-hearted bullshit if he stays. I’d even guess that much of the end of season malaise stems from his ‘tude. A shame but very likely.
One story is that Chelsea will offer Shaun Phillips and Nicolas “Why the long face?” Anelka in a tempter for the Beautiful Bulgarian’s services but I’ve read elsewhere that Levy & Co. would sooner take a £10m cut than sell him to a Premiership rival. Real Madrid - that’s where my bucks stop.
The last item I’ve got time for today - and I just couldn’t miss this one - is about Uncle Teddy. The man purer than Tottenham himself has done what we all hoped and laid it down as to what he wants for the future. At his Spurs Hall of Fame dinner last week, he said:
“I’ve played for this great club and I’d love to manage it one day.”
Yes, Teddy and we’d love to see you. Just wait 15 years for Juande to win everything first and spend the time getting good at the job.
The bagels will be found. You won’t!
The Bagel.
May 13th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Good article, excellent quote from Gus.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Hi Bagel
It’s a shame to see such a gifted, elegant player leave, especially as he’s my first born son, but hey, shush, the maintenance payments would kill me & put Mrs Yid & Mini Yid out on the street! But I agree with you that he no longer wants to play for us & I’ve already cut him out of my last will & testiment. I only hope that he goes abroad
COYS
May 13th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Cheers Jon and sorry YotN I know it must hurt to see your own flesh do this to you. I’d have to blame, hang on, what was her name again? His mum who you met? Anyway must be her.
The Bagel.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
YOTN
You weren’t in Croatia in the 80’s were you? Surely you had a hand (or something else) in the arrival of young “We are the Mods” Modric??
May 13th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Hi Bagel
She was called Nadia
Hornchurch,
Come to think of it, I saw a lot of the world during the eighties & nineties whilst serving in the armed forces for ‘er maj’ not to mention many parts of the UK. So, bearing in mind just how over-active my loins were in those decades, I may well have sired a few more of the first team… Oops, I don’t think I should’ve claimed that freely, I’m in a cold sweat just thinking of those at the CSA rubbing their grubby hands together!
But yes, Croatia was a tour of duty, though it wasn’t all done out of duty, some was during my r&r! I seem to remember a pretty young lady by the name of Jelena. A bright eyed, blonde haired girl in her early twenties… Ooh sorry everyone, I was taking a walk down memory lane. Anyway, a sweet girl whose reputation is best left in tact… Atleast for the time being…
May 13th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
I hope Cerny goes on to play in the prem with QPR soon, top man.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:11 am
YOTN you didn’t by any chance have a hand in the creation of any world-class goalies did you?
May 14th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Great blog as always, Bagel. You’re right, it’s time for Dimi to go.
Good ol’ Teddy.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:19 am
The season ends and various sets of fans outlooks become clearer as the transfer season approaches.
No doubt there will be winners and losers during this time of uncertain indiscipline, blind optimism will be followed by sheer frustration at the ability or other of our various new Lancelots.
Already Liverpool are demanding to do business while having no funds at all, they offer various bits of second hand sports equipment, along with a few past-it players for Gareth Barry, at the same time demand a £15M cash only deal for Crouch, hmmm, no cash crisis there then ? I wonder how hard they will resist when a £40M offer comes through for Torres ?
Newcastle, after having clear the air talks with new saviour manager, and 3 month tennee of the hottest seat in the north, have not thrown their wallet open, nor have they forced Keegan to sell, they have in fact just noticed that if you can half the current contracts you could use any residue cash to attract the worlds best players to the north east of england - I see small minor flaws in the plan, time will tell, but I doubt Keegan will see xmas at the club he was begged out of retirement to salvage.
Man City, with their new born sugar daddy; still trying patiently to deflect attention from the awful human rights issues in Thailand and show himself to be a real man of the people, well, they are trying to seduce former world beaters to the bright lights of Manchester, I can’t really see this one winning - and what is it with Sven, once again he’s been sacked but is still getting paid for the job !!!!
Chelsea and Manure will no doubt throw caution to the wind, inflating prices whereever they can, interestingly, Deloitte’s have announced that ManUre’s debt now looms dangerously toward the £1.3B mark. Chelsea’s Peter Kenyon is dragging out the claims that Chelsea will be a profit making club within 3 years - another £140M loss is on the cards as Roman digs deep to make his personal plaything the best toy in the world.
As for matters closer to home, while the Mighty Arsenal’s fantastic support ape Pavlov’s salivating dogs, our anticipation not derived from necessity but through conditional reflexing - our history shows the season ahead to full of hope.
6puds fans on the other hand, should be likened to Stanley Milgrams’ neighbours and subjects, steeped in belief, comforted by the blanket of trust, wide eyed Bambi’s thrust upon the world, they make their way dutifully toward their shrine, happy to contribute to the worlds fountain of hope.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Anyway, I met young Jelena in 1985 whilst Croatia was still part of the former Yugoslavia. This was a holiday for me, no military activity, purely reconnaissance if you know what I mean. She, as a lot of Eastern European delights are, was very welcoming & extremely accomodating. After our short daliance, we said our goodbyes, promising to keep in touch, which we did for quite some time.
I last saw her whilst on duty in Croatia. It was quite a shock seeing this little lad, football constantly at his feet, running about what was left of her Mother’s undercroft, which was looking rather burnt out, shot at & deshevelled, but enough about her Mother’s medical problems! She looked at me with a look that said “This little lad is the product of your over-active, battle scarred loins.” I never saw Jelena or little Luca again, mainly due to being elsewhere in the World & later because I was married & “settled down” with a family of my own.
But mark my words, that’s the same Luca I saw kicking a football about in 1991 & Jelena could still suck a golf ball through a hose pipe & bang like a privvy door when the plague’s in town!
May 14th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Sounds a bit like the pot calling the kettle black there Oui Oui. You talk of the season ahead as being ‘full of hope’ then comment that we are contributing to the ‘fountain of hope’. Contradiction?
As for your history showing the upcoming season to be full of wonderment and success, I can only assume that you aren’t referring to the past 3 years of history at the ar5ena1.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Ricardo Rocha wants out then, not suprisingly.
Can I claim the Sun headline of “Off his Rocha” now please?
Ithangyall.
May 14th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Wattson,
The distinction was in regards to the Mighty Arsenal fan’s relativity to Pavlov’s theories, while 6puds fans more closely resemble Milgrims subjects.
Hope this helps.
I would of course be referring to the last 3 years of history at the Arsenal. While you masticate the wonder of a league cup victory against, just to hold the arguments, an under full strength side, you miss the motivation for teams entered in the league.
Since you missed out on the CL on the last day of the season you have shipped all possible points toward Arsenal, this is a result for the Arsenal fans who love the fact of us being the better team to be proved in a competitive environment. 6puds dropped a massive 6 points to us this season, replicating the season before.
This is reflected in our respective showings in the league table.
We amassed an enormous 83 points this season, 4 points off the eventual winners, and improvement over the previous season of 15 points.
In an if / but world, we could easily have won the PL title, and our team is young enough to replicate this season again and again.
6puds on the other hand are miles away from where they were, emulating 5th place is a heady 21 points away, CL 11 more than that even.
Should your new ‘this weeks rubiks cube’ manager not deliver a CL or even league based Uefa berth, no doubt the powers that be at WHS will be denying casual chats with prospective managers before long, while that fans will soon forget the ones they loved, and Ramos will become MJ’d.
May 14th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Were Pavlov’s theories also a pile of shite?!*
You didn’t take 6 points off us the season before this one. Stick with the adolescent-showing-off psychology references**, because your football banter has no credibility.
*Please do not bother to expand on this. As with your job, no-one cares. Or if we do care, we are on the oi-oi’s job / pavlov / milgrim blogs.
**not really
May 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I have heard from a reasonably good source that Berba is happy where he is and loves the club, the fans etc.
It’s the agent who is turning Berbas eyes to a big money transfer and of course the Agents cut of the money-pot.
Would love to see the club match the wages of any prospective buyer to see if he stayed.
I’d be happy if he did.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
YOTN
I knew it. Fair play to you sir! I’m sure he won’t let his old man down.
Another “Dalliance” eh? Now that sounds like a good title for a song!
May 14th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Oi oi
”6puds dropped a massive 6 points to us this season, replicating the season before.”
Actually if you remember Jenas scored a last minute goal against you at the Lane season before last:so you’re wrong there.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I knew that wouldn’t take long - now I have finally got 2 of this forums main protagonists to admit the improvements the Mighty Arsenal have made season by season, thanks oog and 1992Yido !
May 14th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Finally, after all these zero times we’ve talked about it, you’ve managed to drag it out of me……
May 14th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Surely Spurs have improved, silverwear ect….
May 15th, 2008 at 11:15 am
oog - your so negative - try adding some colour to your hovel - perhaps a picture or two on the wall.
Or if you really want to be happy - support the Mighty Arsenal !
May 15th, 2008 at 11:47 am
As far as I can tell, your blog posts don’t actually have anything to do with me anymore oi oi. You just put oog in front of them and then spout irrelevant nonsense. At least your nonsense used to actually be relevant to whatever it was we were talking about at the time…
On another note, I was able to go to a great gig last night (camille, koko) so thank you Tottenham for not getting to the UEFA cup final. It did make me laugh (with apologies to the fine city of manchester and the russian who got stabbed) watching the crap half of glasgow rampaging through manchester. Although they bring shame on my city, I can live with that. They always have - its just that they’ve been shown up once again… If we’d got to the final it would have been against Rangers (I think). Possibly a good thing we didn’t!
Words I never thought I’d say: “Thank you Dick Advocaat”
May 15th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
“irrelevant nonsense”
This is a football blog - the posts I make are about football.
I’m not sure I understand why you would feel my mentioning chelsea and manure overspending, newcastle having manager issues and liverpool trying to blag the transfer market is nonsense, which part is nonsense, please explain.
Or is it just your antipathy you feel for me that forces you to react to my posts ?
May 15th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Actually Oi Oi, this is not a football blog, this is a spurs blog - it’s clearly marked at the top of the page, where it says ‘Beef Bagel - The Spurs Blog’.
Also, as oog has pointed out time and time again, your posts tend not to be about football at all, but are about yourself, your ‘oh aren’t we jealous, you work in banking’ job, your hack amateur psychology etc etc.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Its the ones you address to me specifically - in which you either refer to discussions we haven’t had, try to win arguments we aren’t having, or put words in my mouth - that are irrelevant. And whenever I ask you to explain yourself e.g. the lying about something I have supposedly said - you go all silent. And instead mention… err… putting pictures up in a hovel. Or a dog chewing on a turd, that kind of thing.
So - not that its up to me, but by all means continue blogging about whatever you like. Could you just stop coming up with arguments out of thin air though!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Nothing good on bloomberg anywhere this week Oi oi?
May 15th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
3 posts all on here mentioning my job, none by me - makes you wonder who really has the hang-ups round here.
“this is not a football blog, this is a spurs blog” - I see where the level is now.
I suppose you can perhaps petition Bagel to withdraw my access to the forum, why not picket the major london stations to garner support against the evil Oi oi, badger BT to remove my interweb access rights, or simply just ignore my posts.
Maybe, just maybe you love me really.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
You’re not evil.
We don’t love you.
You just talk shit.
May 15th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
ALL HAIL THE GREAT OOG
Three short sentences that just sum it up
oui oui, admit it, Oog is right, you spout rubbish to & about regulars of the Beef Bagel, myself included, but mainly directed at Oog. when you are asked to explain, you simply & conveniently choose not to reply. Whatever your motives, you will never alter the fact that this remains one of the finest football related blog sites by far. Don’t flatter yourself by thinking of petitions to get you removed, barred from this site, I personally think you should carry on posting your pearlers of unsubstantiated tosh, as I find you occassionally, mildy amusing
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY OOG