Beef Bagel

Apologies for all recent bagel interruptions and unfortunately that keeper poll will have to wait until it doesn’t manage to bring my blog to its knees single-handed.

So, we won. Not bad, and from what I saw we looked pretty good. Reading looked awful but we both moves that saw the ball find the home side’s net were what one might describe as liquid football. I’ll see if I can dig up some highlights in a minute.

In the mean time, we’re getting incredibly mixed messages about exactly where it is we’ll be sitting when we watch the Spurs go marching in come 2010. Late the other night you may have caught a Daily Mail exclusive saying that General Levy was on the brink of announcing that our stadium plans have been decided. They had it down they’d we’d decided to build an all too Emirates-like 50,000 bowl next door to the Lane.

So, I see the headline “Stadium Update” on the official site expecting to hear the same and what do I read but…

In the Club’s 2007/08 interim financial statement we indicated that we would report on the outcome of our appraisals and our preferred option in respect of an increased capacity stadium by the end of June. However, following the latest appraisal, it will now not be possible to make an announcement within that time frame.

Chairman, Daniel Levy, said, “The difficulties with seeking a solution to our need for increased capacity are significant, they include low residual land values within the Tottenham area which in turn makes enabling development less feasible, along with a limited number of suitable alternative sites within London, all of which require land assembly.

“I am determined that we shall work towards a successful outcome and a project of this nature and importance cannot be hurried.

“On a point of clarity, we have taken no decision on whether or not to expand White Hart Lane and we continue to review and keep our options open.

“I appreciate that supporters are keen for news on the future of the stadium and felt that it was important to provide an update.

“I shall, of course, keep you fully appraised of any developments in the coming months.”

Yeah, that doesn’t quite tally with the Mail. Hard to tell whether it’s just some sort of stalling before details are finalised and actually the papers have it right or whether this is there to scotch the flaming bull-shit? I’m still quietly cacking it they’re going to pull an MK Spurs and it was suggested in the Mail that they were looking to flog the name of the new ground as well. The Mansion Stadium? No thanks. No £100m-player is worth that.

The non-pitch or semi non-pitch big news as of midnight last night was the grand unveiling of our new threads for next season…

…not too shabby. “To wear is to do” - nice touch. So we’ve gone for our lucky Euro-brown again only this time with that filthy collar that mercifully they keep away from the home kit. Good to see the sky blue in for that blinding canary yellow and quite an interesting touch with the stripy socks.

Players always find it tough at the photoshoot with awkwardness written all over their faces and here we have three perfect examples of how to deal with the limelight. Woody’s got the classic pissed off and uncomfortable look, Keano - the seasoned pro - has obviously had a look back at his previous efforts and gone with the fixed grin, held together with two well-placed staples but JJ has got it: eyes on the camera, oozing confidence and a slight cheekiness in his eyes - the hallmark of a quality midfielder continuing to improve in leaps, bounds and posing.

Of course, if you simply want to look like a psychopath, just take a leaf out of Tomas Pekhart’s guide to male modeling…

…mouth open, tongue forward and look of lust and deep perversion in his eyes even Keano knows it…

…is he playing footsy with him? He’s a big lad too. His nipples are as high as Keano’s face.

There’s rumours a-plenty on in the transfer market and there’s no chance I’m doing them all today but I’ll bring you one ‘yes’ and one ‘no’ today.

Anton Ferdinand - guess which one that is. Apparently, Juande is planning to stuff fistfuls of dosh firmly down the drain in a bid to coax the 23-year-old up-town. Largely, my problem with this is that he’s a cock. Just looking at him makes me angry. See, any of these makes you just want to do him some damage…

He’s not had a good season, nor did he have a particularly good one last time around making his first look rather like a flash in the pan. Why do we want him? Is he to be the new Tony Gardner except no likes him or Ricardo Rocha then, I suppose? Is he any better than Safety First, who apparently is for the off as soon as the whistle’s blown on Sunday? Like for like or near enough, surely?

Personally, I think it’s a load of balls or the other explanation is that the Perfect Juan has seen something he can mold. Either that or he’s got him confused with his brother - frightening but it could be true?

I’ve just seen the best headline of the day: “Ireland appoint Kidney as coach”. I mean, you’d believe it wouldn’t you?

The ‘yes’ story concerns senor Diego Capel. Yes please. Juande’s former protege has triggered a buy-out clause in his contract by completing 40 games for Sevilla. The cash required is £11.5m which is a little annoying as it was £9.5m before last month’s match against Murcia. By the way, if you’re ever going to Sevilla, don’t fly into Murcia - it’s quite far away.

Capel is one of these stories that just won’t go away and with Ramos at the helm, we’ve got to holding the aces. What’s more, there’s not a lot of other clubs linked to his name and now it seems we can just pay the money to the Spanish League and negotiate with the winger without having to bother with his club - who as you may have read are continuing legal action against Juande for basically leaving them. It seems as if Capel is there for the taking and it seems as if the Perfect Juan wants his perfect man.

What in Jupiter’s bagel?

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 at 2:26 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.