No’o Eto’o
I had to get the gag in one more time as it now looks pretty certain that Catalonia’s favourite Cameroonian will be heading to Inter in the coming weeks and not the sunny climes of N17.
The cover is that we wouldn’t offer the £120,000 per week he wanted despite matching his Barcelona deal of £107,000. Admittedly, Barca pay him a bonus as well but who’s really going to quibble about £13,000 when we’re already talking five figures? No, the real story lies in that he doesn’t want to come to us. Probably due to the fact that Inter were crowned Serie A champions for the third year in a row the other day and have CL football, whereas we were mucking about in mid-table when it all finished and have only the UEFA Cup and Luka Modric to to drag in to any negotiations we enter.
The poor guy must dread every rumour in the papers. “Luka!” Comolli shouts. “I know,” comes the tired reply in Croatian accent, “get my passport.”
Of course, it’d be also nice to believe that Henry had something to do with putting Samuel off as well. Campbell’s use as a hate figure is getting a little diluted with all this Portsmouth success and it’s good to see there’s some other scum still going strong.
The whole affair will likely piss Barca off as much as us who will undoubtedly receive less money for their ex-star who still managed to turn in 17 goals in what was considered “a bad season”. It’s also a bit of a fucker for us. No one was 100% positive about the value in what would have been a record-breaking deal for us but we were happy with the fact we were getting a replacement for Dimi with the right level of pedigree.
There seems little of proven quality out there on the market and it looks as though we’ll have to take a punt as we did with the Beautiful Bulgarian and hope for another Lilywhite miracle. The Moreno deal doesn’t look like it’ll come off, Diego Forlan was mentioned but I’m not that convinced but a new name to be mentioned is that of Real Zaragoza £10m-rated striker Diego Milito. Here’s his head…
..returning with the prize of Roberto Carlos’s balls.
At 5′10″ and as part of a club that’s just been relegated despite his goal record of one every other game, I get the fear he’s more a Sergei Bent than a Dimitar the Great, particularly when you look at the way he seems to score…
The 28-year-old, part-time Argentina international has been linked with Manchester City - of course - apart from ourselves and will doubtless have a great first half of the season wherever he goes until the cold weather sets in and he misses his winter break. It’s very hard to get excited about these kinds of players - older and unheard of - but I must stop comparing everyone to Dimi. We just ain’t going to get that again. Not straight away.
A younger option is 21-year-old Lyon forward Loic Remy (good name). Likely, to be more the running front man than the poacher, he’s often played on the right wing and stands at a much healthier 6′ and 10st 4lbs. Here’s his head…
…playing in a very friendly looking friendly.
He doesn’t have a wealth of experience from playing for his home town of Lyon, so they farmed him out on loan to Lens, who still retain a £6m option to buy, where he picked up 3 goals in 6 games. Nice stats. I can show you a couple of very unrevealing goals, and I will…
…but it doesn’t tell us a whole lot. He looks athletic and he looks lie he can shoot but then that should be the description of any good footballer. He’s partially rated at international level with two performances at some monkey level and where it any country other than France, I might call it an issue that he hasn’t earned a full cap.
There’s a chance we’ll be seeing more of Loic in Austria this summer but if we do, and he’s any good, expect a massive price hike and far fiercer competition.
What in the name of all that’s gracious is a semi-bagel?
The Bagel.
May 21st, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I am happy that Eto`o deal didnt come off. I somehow had a bad feeling about it. Felt like it would have been another Shevchenko.
Also, why are there no reports of offers coming in for Berba? Surely 25 mil is not asking too much for him.
May 21st, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I reckon all those teams interested in signing him will be keeping their cards close to their chest. You can bet that plenty of teams will be trying to do the deal without starting a bidding war.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:17 am
Good artical Bagel. I laughed my arse off at the “returning with the prize of Roberto Carlos’s balls” bit. HAHAHA….Pure gold mate.
Yeah, i rekon that Eto’o can get fucked. He could be great for us, but if he wants to play for Inter in a boring-as-bat-shit league then let him. Maybe he fears the EPL???
ps. did you see Terry crying after the CL final loss??? What a weak cunt.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:24 am
“Inter were crowned Serie A champions for the third year in a row”
The first Scudetto they didn’t win on the pitch, the second Scudetto they won in a season when Juve was relegated and Milan was in pieces, and the third they won on Roma’s screw-ups more than their accomplishments. Inter are the Chelsea of Italy - legends in their own minds. And any player that goes there is doomed. From Cannavaro to Figo. Doomed.
… sorry, that’s the Juventus side of me, had to get that out of my system…
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:36 am
I know this isn’t really relevant but how funny was John Terry’s slip last night? Ha ha
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:48 am
Hillerious.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:09 am
They’ve never recovered from us doing them in the league cup final.
Well, they may have got to within an inch if winning the European Cup last night and the league the other weekend but we know that it was us that fucked up their season. And we fucked up the scum with our 5 - 1 thrashing in the semi.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I lie the look of that Moreno, why dont u think we’ll get him!?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
whoever we get, we have to be prepared for disappointment. Who can replace Berbatov????
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Hornchurch you right we wont get someone in the same class as berba but then how many forwards are out there like him?
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:45 am
The question really is, how many forwards out there are as good as Berba… and are up for sale?
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 am
Anyone hear anything more about Gattuso coming to us?
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 am
farah
Add to that…..”and would want to join us?”
I’m sure Ramos has a few players on his radar that could do a very good job for us. They just won’t have the effortless grace that we have enjoyed over the last 2 seasons.
I’m worried that Robbie’s form will also suffer. He has really benefited from having a top drawer player next to him. I’m sure we might see a few more exasperated huffs and puffs if he has to put up with Bent for too long.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
Sorry to change the subject a little but has anyone else been appalled by some of the players our fans want us to sign?
I have read the likes of Ashton, Crouch, Wright-Phillips, Dunne, Andy Johnson, Green, Duff, (note that most of them are players that do not make the England team - which is shite) on forums, mentioned as players that fellow spurs fans really want to sign!
For fuck sake do they want to go backwards or something!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
“The question really is, how many forwards out there are as good as Berba… and are up for sale? ”
Easy: Santa Cruz, Benjani, Yakubu, Carew, Agbonlahor, Anelka ……
How many more do you want ?
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
yet again Oi Oi you come out with a comment which makes you sound like a real cunt.
Keep up the good work.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
How do you figure Hornchurch ?
All the players I listed are in a similar bracket to Berbatov.
Unless your myopic view only compares him to Maradona and Pele.
He cant win games on his own and scores only a reasonable amount of goals.
Hense the reason teams like Real Madrid are screaming about Ronaldo for £100M and 200K / week and silence on Berbatov.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Oi Oi
You obviously know absolutely fuck all about football if you think that Carew / Benjani / Yakubu etc is in “a similar bracket” to Berbatov.
Even if you only look at goals scored by each player your argument is rubbish.
Carew 13. Agbonlahor 11. Anelka 13. Benjani 15. The only player that comes close is Yakubu with 21.
Berbaotov has 23 by the way.
Who mentioned Maradona and Pele?
Looks like Oog was spot on about you inventing arguments that have never happened.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Come on fellow Spurs fans, oui oui has been silent for a little while now & like every spoilt brat, will try to seek attention at every opportunity. Yes’ he’s spouting his ill informed, misappropriated tosh yet again, but I maintain that he is mildly entertaining in a cringe-worthy style.
I’m starting to conclude that the stalker/curtain twitcher/hider in the hedge from the nomadic side of north London does indeed suffer from Attention Seeking Deficit Disorder, but he poses no threat, so unless he gets overly boystrous, we’ll just ignore most of his shite & laugh at his more embarrassing gaffs
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Berbatov = Abonglahor?
1+1 = 3?
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I see you smartly avoided dismissing Santa Cruz - who scored a massive 23 goals as well.
And the lion share of those came from a prestigious competition.
I didn’t invent an argument, I merely stated a potential observation based on my understanding of bitter biased 6puds fans, that’s all.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Nice irrelevent post from Wilson - obviously struggling to keep up with this free flowing and fast tracked forum.
Perhaps we should slow it down for him - he’s obviously in need of basic maths tuition for a start.
Try again like this wilson:
1+1=2
feel any better ?
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Maybe he avoided dismissing Santa Cruz because Santa Cruz is the only one (along with, I would say, Anelka) who you could even consider putting into the same category as Berbatov (although, in fact, I wouldn’t).
So in short, you listed six strikers of whom only two are possibly in the same class as Berbatov. And then you criticise someone for leaving ONE of them out of their response. The point is - your list is clearly nonsense.
Answer a question honestly. Do you think Yakubu / Agbonlohor / Benjani / Carew are in the same class as Berbatov?
If you say yes, we can all draw our own conclusions. Some will say “wind up merchant”. Some will say “knows less about football than he seems to think he does”. I’ll probably plump for both!
Oh - Wilson’s post made perfect sense, and was relevant. It basically said “you are talking bollocks”. Again.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Again we get the deluded fans spewing their rubbish.
Just because a player pulls on some white shirt with chicken and basketball logo they must be the greatest thing since Jimmy Greaves.
Barbatov is an ok player - that’s all, what has he delivered ? And lets not pretend that the joker cola cup is worth anything ?
Is he able to influence games in the way Cantona / Zidane / Ronaldo even Di Canio could ? No.
You compare him to Anelka ? I dont see how - Anelka has medals to show for his career, has played for 5 of the biggest clubs in Europe and won medals at each, has Berbatov ? No.
Has he delivered anything more that a hole in the wage balance sheet ? Yes, a deluded myopic gathering of fickle followers.
I’m saying you could get exactly the same return from the players I mentioned, my proof - the fact that they play for teams that, like your lot, are all mid table, run of the mill teams.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:20 pm
In other news…
Poyet told Ona FM: “Samuel Eto’o is not a priority for our team, he does not interest us. In the coming week we will all meet to speak about signings. We do have some very interesting ones lined up for next season.”
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
In other words…
“Samuel Eto’o is not a priority for our team” = Samuel Eto’o laughed Levy out of town !!!!
Hahahahahaha
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Do you think Wenger judges players on the same basis as you?
“I won’t sign player X because he doesn’t have enough medals”
No - he doesn’t influence games in the way Cantona / Zidane / Ronaldo did / do.
Yes - he influences games to the degree that Di Canio could, and better.
Why are you bringing up Zidane, Maradona and Pele?!
You compared him to players he’s better than. And to protect your position you are now comparing him to Pele and Maradona!
He’s a very fine player, and its not about Spurs myopia any more than its about any number of stats you can come up with to show he hasn’t won as many medals as some other players.
He’s got more winers medals in England than Adebayor, incidentally. And played in more Champions League finals.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
oi oi, just because you use the word myopic does not make you or your argument sound intelligent. Did you ever even watch Berbatov play? There is no question that he had some disappointing moments, but do you hear anyone talking about paying 25 million for Santa Cruz or any of the others that you listed? Obviously, you are being just as narrow-minded, or “myopic” in your ignorant diatribe against the spurs fans, as more brilliant minds than ours value Berba up there with some of the most talented players in the world. It says a lot about how pathetic you are that you can’t just worry about your own team and have to come on a blog to incite other fans with stupid arguments that are based in your seething hatred of the spurs rather than in reality.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Nice typo, ‘more winers medals’ - I’ll agree with that.
And the champions league thing - by using grabbing losers medals as an estimate of a players’ worth, I’m glad to state that Ashley Cole is twice the player Berbatov is.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I thought you might pick up on that typo, rather than address the very obviously reasonable points I make in the discussion at hand.
I agree that its a good thing that Ashley Cole has lost both his finals though.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Good work ogg, I think you’ve given fair and balanced responses to unbalanced claims by oi oi; arguments that he seems mainly to have defended by re-itterating louder and ignoring any replies. Hopefully this might encourage him to stop bothering this blog and get back to the animal porn on his other browser tab.
To be fair, I think Eto’o was always a bit of a media invented red herring.
I’m not sure that Spurs would double their current wage cap, let alone shed out the initial 24mil?
If they want an unhappy striker who demands champions league next season, they might as well hold on Berbatov, he’d certainly save Levy some cash.
The disproportionate financial burden that Eto’o would bring (in relation to the next highest paid player) would be more than a little odd, especially with a new stadium in the off-ing, which unfortuately can’t be funded by a massive residential development. A stadium it is worth noting, that won’t be built on the foundations of the local dump.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Bit late replying but cheers oog that was the point of my post. I’ll be more straight forward with you next time oi oi.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Bagel you should block this hysterical nutter Oi Oi once and for all.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Ah come on - there’s no need for oi oi to be blocked! Not unless he gets abusive, which he generally doesn’t (and perhaps not at all). I think Yid of the North had it more or less right in his earlier post.
Sorry to defend oi oi (in particular - apologies to oi oi!)
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I agree with oog - Entertainment value is great! Oi oi correcting spelling. Classic.
‘Arry - I also agree: I was worried about the wage thing with Eto’ooo, especially as he is ‘after’ his prime.
Hanging on to Berba, surely it just wouldn’t work with his ‘character’? Surely we want him to give his all, or nothing. Shrugging shoulders, when the likes of Keane are sweating their arses off is not what I want to see.
Bagel - I have a recurring nightmare that the summer passes, and Bent is our new replacement. I hate to be too hard on the fella, but really. He hasn’t sparked into life… Or should he be given that all important second chance??
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
I agree with oog - Entertainment value is great! Oi oi correcting spelling. Classic.
‘Arry - I also agree: I was worried about the wage thing with Eto’ooo, especially as he is ‘after’ his prime.
Hanging on to Berba, surely it just wouldn’t work with his ‘character’? Surely we want him to give his all, or nothing. Shrugging shoulders, when the likes of Keane are sweating their arses off is not what I want to see.
Bagel - I have a recurring nightmare that the summer passes, and Bent is our new replacement. I hate to be too hard on the fella, but really. He hasn’t sparked into life… Or should he be given that all important second chance??
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:12 pm
whoops. ^^^
sorry.
May 26th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Please dont do that again oog, it makes me feel uncomfortable !
I have been abusive previously, but only once or twice, and I do try and curb it.
‘Arry’Otspur, If this was a media contrived story regarding Eto’o, then Levy should be called to account for wasting club money on a sharabang to Barcelona.
More diatribe to follow as necessary.