Beef Bagel

With Eto’o watch’h relatively silent today, save a mafioso speech from Barca president Joan Laport, we can take a moment to look at a few other bods elsewhere. But while on it, listen to this on the future of the Cameroonian striker and Ronaldinho as well…

“Ronaldinho needs new challenges and it’s normal that when a cycle ends the most emblematic people from that cycle leave. I’d like him to go like Frank (Rijkaard), with his head held high, because he has given us so many glorious moments.”

“Eto’o is a player who is loyal to the club colours, who gives so much and who makes you love him. He has also been one of the most emblematic players of this cycle and if he has to go then he deserves to do so with his head held high too, and with honour.”

There’s just something really creepy and insincere about all that and when he talks of heads “held high” I wonder whether he means severed and on a pike? Laporta’s words are the rhetoric of a politician so thinly veiled that it makes The Bagel’s blood run cold. He wants all three of them gone and doesn’t seem to care a jot. Here’s his head…

…with a cheeky little look, flipping the bird from around the corner where the three casualties cannot see it. “Oh yes, yes, we will miss you very much. So sad, so sad.”

There is one other player who may be making a move away from the Cataloonatics this summer and perhaps not one you’d expect. Ronaldino’s understudy, attacking-midfielding-Mexican-wonderhype Giovanni Dos Santos looks frustrated enough to split, which seems rather odd as this has been a bit of a breakthrough season for him at the Nou Camp. He’s 5′11″, 11st 3lbs and still a relative tiddler at 19 years of age. Here’s his head…

…trying to get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of his mouth.

Word has it that despite his hat-trick in the last game of the season, the club plan to send him out to La Liga B next campaign for lessons in how to get your ankles kicked in by a bunch of dirty Spaniards. Funnily enough, he’s not that interested and Chelsea, City and our good selves are looking to bring him to Blighty where he can get his ankles kicked in by a bunch of cultureless Englishmen instead.

“All I want to do is succeed, whether that be at Barca or at another club,” said the pudgy-faced tyke.

“If I leave, it will be forever. I am someone who believes that if you close a chapter at one place then you cannot go back.”

So, he’s gone as far as I can see. If you were doing your bust into a team of Galacticos and were then told they’re were getting rid of the old lot and getting in some better ones, you might worry for your chances as well. Sadly for Gio, he’s obviously never met Shaun Phillips and is probably rubbing his hands together over a big money move to Chelsea. Of course, we do have the Ramos trump card these days which counts quite a lot when courting Spanish-speaking, Spanish-based players. So, do we want him? Well, here’s his hat-trick. The first one’s not exactly telling but the second…

…that’s cheeky. For a more in-depth look or more blank space if you’re denied the pleasure of YouTube…

…well, he’s not shit, is he? I get the feeling he’s a little on the frustrating side but I think I could handle that.

Doubtless this little Mexican would cost us the Earth and I’m not sure we’ll have that after Eto’o and Modric. If you ask The Bagel, he’s got Chelsea written all over him and we’ll just have to hate him instead. He’s got the right face for it.

The big news today is about Cruzeiro striker Marcelo Moreno for whom we had a £4m bid rejected the other day. There’s all manner of nasty noises coming out of this prospect today. The worst is from his agent Luciano Marangon, who live on Brazilian radio, said:

“He is very similar to Batistuta. A tall, central striker, very physically strong, but also a total cunt. He works the flanks similar to how Batistuta used to play.”

Well, he basically said that, give or take two words, but he continued:

“I know that in Spain, as in England, he is in great demand. In England we’re talking about Arsenal.”

Great. The same has been confirmed diplomatically by the player himself…

“I was told about the offer made by Tottenham,”

“Of course I would like to play in England but as I said before, I have to like the place where I will be. The club has to get to an agreement with my agent and from what I know what has been offered wasn’t enough.”

Basically, we’ll offer Cruzeiro enough and they’ll take it. The only problem is that if we’re to get him, it’ll take us all summer of the ungrateful toss pot waiting for a better offer. The only other concrete suggestion has been proffered by Shahktar Donetsk and at least we haven’t been put out of the window in quite the same fashion.

“I am thankful for the invitation that I have received but I am not really interested in playing a league that isn’t so much important in Europe,” said Moreno.

So we’ve got arsenal and the whole of Spain and Italy to fend off. Did I mention that United were interested as well?

More achievable would be Damien Duff who is set for a Newcastle exit after a less than impressive and very expensive stay in Toon. On the one hand, would we want the injury-addicted 29-year-old; on the other would he want us - especially as he was quoted as saying it wouldn’t be right to come to us after Chelsea. Somehow I’ve a feeling feeling that that wouldn’t bother him too much if we could offer football and a decent pay check, oh and two Republic buddies as well.

What’s more interesting for me is that Blackburn are said to be in for him as well. Does this mean they’re resigned to losing MGP? Does this mean we’ll get our chance, or will he just end up going to Liverpool or will we end up with Harry Kewell? I sense a transfer merry-go-round on this one. Looking forward to the ride.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I’d have to kick my own bagel.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 at 2:38 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.