Johnson & Johnson - no relation
There’s chat every day of just how advanced our talks are with Samuel Eto’o, exactly where it is Dimitar the Great will be calling home next season and just how much it’s all going to cost. The tricky thing is that no one knows, and I mean no one. The players don’t know, the clubs don’t know, so there’s no way in the world the papers can know either. It’s all part of the great global transfer merry-go-round and it works from the top down.
Dimmy B looks to be at the very zenith and for him the Champions League is the name of the game. Juande, Gus and all bar Levy & Co. are more or less resigned to his departure. Not even a last ditch explosion of the wage structure to £90,000 per week could change the Beautiful Bulgarian’s mind, or so the story goes. The question remains where and beyond our personal feelings, it is of paramount importance.
Milan may have their heart set on little Mitko but they’re as yet to confirm their own CL status for the next campaign. They can offer Dimi all the chianti in Italy but the 27-year-old will not go if they can offer the UEFA Cup. If that deal a deal were to come off then we’d have a very good shot at pulling Rino Gattuso in the other direction. The wily old Italian Badger would be a hell of a coup and just what Dr Ramos ordered certainly in the short term if we are to achieve his goal of a top four finish.
If Dimi goes to Real then, we may have a shot at Robinho and a far better shout for David Villa who dreams as night of the white Galactico shirt (not ours). Of course, it’s Eto’o instead should we deal with Barca - older than Villa, more expensive but he can do things like this (you’ve got to look down the post a bit). At just a couple of inches taller than Keano, you’ve got to wonder how they’d work in the Premiership but it sounds quite fun as a partnership in your head. Keane and Eto’o. An Indomitable Lion and an incomprehensible Irishman.
Further confusion from the Iberian peninsula comes in the form of the relatively unknown Real Zaragoza striker and PGA pro golfer Sergio Garcia. Here’s his head…
…looking like an absolute cheese-ball.
Apparently the Ryder Cup winner has been spending a little time off the fairway, working on a different game altogether. Golf was initially a hobby while the now 24-year-old was at Barcelona. He found it impossible to get a start ahead of any number of Ronaldinhos, Messis and Eto’os et al and took his frustration out at the driving range. With just five appearances to speak of he moved to first division outift Levante who were quite happy for him to play as a striker, a right winger or a scratch player with an excellent short game.
Zaragoza snapped up the 5′9″ player in 2005 for pennies and they now rate him at £18m or at least that’s his buy-out clause. Hard to tell how he warrants this with a record of 33 appearances this season and just five goals but we’ll have to assume that he’s been used on the wing. He looks good but not £18m good and I wonder how he’s fair against a uglier breed of defender…
…but Juande did want him ever so badly when he was at Sevilla and that was with Fabiano and Kanoute on the books already. As far as Garcia himself is concerned…
“I have not spoken with any English director. My task is to help Zaragoza remain in the Primera Liga, and after I will discuss other matters.”
So, he’s open for business then, and like the rest, we’ll have to wait till the football stops before we all find out what’s going on.
Here at home it’s the Johnson & Johnson show with Spurs fingers in Middlesbrough and Man City pies in search of midfielders of the same name. Adam Johnson of ‘Boro is the left winger. Here’s his head…
…getting soundly dispossessed by JJ. Ha! I could give you a more informative shot…
…there we go - that classic Middlesbrough left-winger dynamic look.
Johnson A has been playing on and off for the dullest club in the top flight since Charlton left the Prem. He even featured at the Lane but seemed to do very little. The 19-year-old has impressed in other fixtures, so I’m told, and is greatly appreciated at England U21 level. We were linked with him about six months back and although there’s some sort of mooted swap on for Big Bad Tom, I’ve a feeling it’s Chinese whispers about the real rumour concerning Johnson B - Man City’s Michael Johnson. Here’s his head…
…an equally gormless Brit only this time in blonde.
Despite having bagged Modders, we’re supposed to be in for this Gerrard-esque central midfielder, who incidently Liverpool themselves are well up for. He’s 6′, he’s 12.5st but frankly I’ll eat a plate of shit if he comes to us. I don’t think he’s high on Juande’s list. He’s back up.
Oh, he’s on the list but way down the bottom. We’re sounding him out in case we fail to sign any number of much more interesting or at least equally good but cheaper than £12m options. I’ve still got my crumbs crossed for Diego although I haven’t seen our two names in the same article since Gloddle was in charge and besides we would expect the fee to nearly double.
We all need bagels to remind ourselves who we are. I’m no different.
The Bagel.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I haven’t enjoyed todays rumours. Not much is being said, and what is being said isn’t very interesting.
Why on earther would we swap Huddlestone for Johnson? Lets hope there is no truth to that.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
At least the Anton Ferdinand story has gone quiet…
May 8th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
*earth
May 8th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Michael Johnson is highly rated. I’d welcome him to the lane but I reckon he will stay at city for the time being.
Also we shouldn’t overlook Anton’s excellent rapping skills. Could come in handy for an FA Cup Final Song.
May 8th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I went to Barcelona over the weekend and saw Eto’o play. He was very quiet and while he, Thierry and Messi constantly swapped positions, when Thierry played on the left Eto’o and him constantly fought for the same space.
Thierry scored twice, and the youngster Bojan got a brace, I imagine that Pep has decided that he has seen the best of Eto’o. perhaps even decided that the ex-Madrid player is the scum with which he views all Spanish players in true Catalonian fashion.
Eto’o has always had an issue with the racism so prevalent at some spanish grounds, all these things could point to him moving to the PL.
But, the big thing would be why would he want to play Uefa footie when he’s used to CL?
May 8th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Oi oi, Ramos has a solid reputation, is well known in Spain and I think he adds to allure.
Afterall, Spurs maybe a safer bet that the imploding Arse.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I agree with you Ali, if he goes to a5ena1 it’s not like he’ll win anything is it; plus all their players seem to be leaving, Flamini,Hleb ect ect…..
May 9th, 2008 at 2:41 am
You know, about Berbatov, I used to think, “Pfft, if you want to go, then just get the hell out and don’t let the door slam on your ass on the way out…”
But now that the reality of a farewell game this Sunday is starting to hit home, I can’t help but feel a little sad. Or maybe it’s just a paranoia that we won’t be able to sign any of the big boys that we want to replace him? :s
May 9th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Re Eto’o.
I dont imagine we’d want him, he is not the sort of player the would fit in a the Mighty Arsenal, he is more likely to fit in at 6puds, however because 6puds cant offer CL football and dont have a glittering history of either CL or even European football qualification, ramos would have his work cut out for him to persuade him to sign.
As for Hleb, his return this season is less than bents and thats saying something, I wont miss him constantly losing possession either.
Flamini was threatening to go last season, no one would have missed him, he’s a one season wonder, and I find it hard to see how he can transfer what he has shown in this season to Italy, I guess time will tell.
More kids on show for next season for us, I’m looking for to seeing all those 6puds points coming our way again !
May 9th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Only time will tell on transfers. We can already see that Ramos’ is highly regarded across the continent from his signing of Modric, and with money to spend there is no reason why he couldn’t snare Eto or similar.
As for McScrooge Wenger, he just doesn’t want to spend money. Just about to lose two midfielders and has come out saying that he doesn’t need to invest in any more. Looks like the scum could be losing their brazilian import too after his comments. Ar5ena1 fans won’t have the excuse of playing their kids anymore because they are all going to be in the first team.
May 9th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Modric looks like a class signing and Eto’o would be very impressive as well but I do hold the question mark over than one with the lack of Champions League football.
I think you could do a hell of lot worse than Anton Ferdinand, I suppose it depends on how much eto’o costs you as to how much you have to spend elsewhere. Somehow i think you’ll be losing out with Eto’o and wishing you’d never let Defoe go (who’s been very impressive since managing to get some first-team football under his belt).
Buy Crouchigol instead, only 15mill (cheap i reckon) and Riise will probably head your way (poor attempt at a pun intended) as well!
God I love the silly-season - its going to be even sillier this year with a Euro championships on and no England team to get horribly over-patriotic and over-optimistic about. The only thing english tabloids will have to write about it which ’star’ player will be joining which English club!
May 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Oi Oi
” a glittering history of champions league qualification”?????
I suppose when you don’t win trophies you have to find something to celebrate.
May 10th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I’m just saying, it’s not like you can say “well we missed out this year, but it’s a one off”
You failed miserably in the league this season,a dn the last 2 season have only managed to net you a Uefa berth.
No one can tell who will win the CL, but you wont win a raffle if you dont buy a ticket, and 6puds cant enter the CL raffle, never have, perhaps never will.
Btw - Rumours are abounding that we have signed Ben Arfa, sound slike the winger we have been looking for, shame we couldn’t get Dafoe really.