You’re gonna win fuck all
If, like me, your first thought when you switched on your computer this morning was, “Where the hell is Wingate?” then you will be relieved to hear that it’s a stones Little Aaron cross away from the Lane. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, we’re talking stadium moves.
Yes, the story that just won’t go away continues to not go away as the papers flit from plan to plan as announced by General Levy nearly 12 months ago now. Plan A was of course redevelop the Lane, which may or may not involved turning the pitch through 90 degrees and building on top of what we already have. We like. The only problem is that WHL is pretty well hemmed in on all sides.
Having said that, I’m sure the club could buy up the row of houses on the Park Lane side. Imagine owning one of them? You could refuse to sell but agree to have the pitch in your front room where the outside wall used to be. How good would that be. Best fucking seats in the house. Wake up for an early kick off, chuck your dressing gown on, crack open a beer, sit in your armchair for the pitchside view and try not to expose your testicles too much to the 10,000-strong Paxton stand. Brilliant.
Anyway, apparently WHL is very hard to develop beyond 15,000 more seats, although that would suit me just fine and may even be the ultimate choice given the shadow of the credit crunch.
But today, the papers examine Plan B: building a new ground on a site very close by, and that’s where Wingate comes in. The Wingate estate is level with the High Road just behind the Paxton, around about here. I think we could manage that.
Reports are that we’d build a 55-60,000 seater there which is not much more than the 50,000 we could have if we stayed put. I guess it’s all about future redevelopment.
I’d still rather Plan A than B but I’ll take B over Plan C any day - Plan C being moving to Morocco. Weren’t we supposed to find out then answer to all this by early 2008? I’m waiting Mr Levy.
In the other piece of juiciness today, there could well be a fight between us and the arse for a certain Brazilian by the name of Robinho. What’s that? Never heard of him, you say. Well, allow me to introduce him.
Robson da Souza, which sounds much better than Little Robin if you ask me, is tough little kid from the streets of Santos. He got signed up to play football at 6 years old. Bloody hell. I think I’d just about learned to walk when I was 6. Anyway, Little Bob saw to it that his club, Beira-Mar, won in his first season. Should we be surprised?
By the time we were 9, he’d scored 73 goals and The Bagel seen a football once. It’s starting to become clear why my career never took off. He scored a bunch more at Santos for three years and another load for Real since 2005 but it looks like he’s now fallen out with Madrid coach, Burnt Shoestring. There he is…
Little Bob himself is a not altogether tiny 5′7″ but weighs in at a featherlight 9.5 stone. Ahhhh. Here’s his head…
…although maybe I’ve got the wrong picture.
We all know his rep but if you want a little reminder of what the all purpose forward can do, then take a look at this lot…
… I think that’s a yes, don’t you?
The reality is that our noisy neighbours want a piece and it’s going to be very hard to persuade the now 24-year-old otherwise. I’ve a feeling arsenal will be wanting to splash the cash as their trophy cabinet gathers another 12 months of dust.
Real are rumoured to listen to £20m offers and even though it may be a fair price - £15m may be closer given the US sub-prime fiasco - I don’t think we’ll stump it. I’d certainly feel a lot better about losing Little Aaron though.
This… is for The Bagel.
The Bagel.
April 9th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Hi Bagel
My reply to your kind regard to me & mine are appreciated & replies are on you previous post
Little Bob looks good but I doubt we’ll pay that sort of money. Do you reckon Little Aaron will return north in the summer? I’ll be sorry to see him go, but I remember telling Big Bruv (Yid of the West) during Little Aaron’s first season that he’s got to polish up his final ball (by that I am not suggesting that Little A’s testicularly challenged, but his lightening runs, turning on a sixpence, darting about, bambouzling defenders have all too often been let down by a crap ball in across the goal. It was evident in his first season & it still lurks now. Perhaps if he stayed with us, Senor Ramos would place Little A with a mentor who would fine tune this wayward final kick of the ball in to something spectacular
COYS
April 9th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Ki Ki / WHS / Oi Oi / Cunt chops
Har di fuckin har!
Apologies for plagiarising your words. They just seem quite apt.
So does that mean you can’t do the double now? And you accuse us of being deluded. You wanna have a word with your cunt of a manager.
April 9th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Well said hornchurch yid, I can’t stop laughing at all the gooners at work today, hardi fucking har indeed :D. I logged on to see if anyone had left any ‘you’re gonna win fuck all’ comments, and, god bless him, the bagel and created a post with that exact title.
Fuck all! You’re gonna win fuck all, you’re gonna win fuck all, you’re gonna win fuck all.
Playing in my head like a Mozart symphony
April 9th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Like you Bagel, i’de rahter see plan A put to work, but; if we do use plan b, it means we’ll be able to: build a fortress, stay in the local area, and keep playing at the Lane while the new ground is being built, instead of risking your life at Upton Park! sounds good.
April 9th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Deja vu from last week it seems as our dear friends from Woolwich have decided it was all the referee’s fault again last night.
It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that Senderos was absolute shit and Samson Adabayor had his boots on backwards?
April 10th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Seems like all you spud cunts are secret Mighty Arsenal fans, looks like none of you missed the game.
Enjoy you third hand victory, congratulate yourself on being smart enough to support so-called rivals to Europe’s finest, gleefully pat each other on the back for being bitter retarded incurable bed wetting companions whose only glory lies in the failure of your betters.
Any true spuds fan wouldn’t have dared watch the match and would have followed their own team in Europe. I guess they must know all the plot lines to Eastenders by now, having nothing to do on thursdays anymore, and never ever having anything to do on tuesdays and wednesdays, the real european nights.
And Hornchurch, apology not accepted. Do please have the decency to contribute more than ctrl-c and ctrl-v, it’s not plagiarism, it’s lazy and shows a lack of intellect, if you feel you have something to contribute, then contribute, dont just cut and paste. It makes you a waste of bandwidth.
April 10th, 2008 at 10:37 am
I for one felt a touch sorry for the arse, especially as i really do not like Liverpool and their obnoxious ’stevie’ gerrard loving fans (vastly over-rated by the way).
and then i remembered that grade A cunts like Oi Oi support them…..
shame really
April 10th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Oi oi, I didn’t watch the game, I just had to see the highlights, and Wengers face! ha!
April 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Oi oi, ha ha, la la & tinky winky (no forgetting po)
I, like 1992Yido, didn’t watch the game, just kept an eye on the score & took great delight in the highlights. It’s a shame that wenger & co had rolled out the usual pre-formed, well practiced, over-used excuses, but somethings will never change. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just wenger, that old chewing gum machine fergie is no better
So oui oui, will l’arse have enough head of steam to pip manure to the post?
April 10th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Hi Bagel
I’m not averse to the idea of moving a short down the road to our new stadium & in the meantime remaining at The Lane while it’s constructed. Deep down, part of me still wants to never leave The Lane, but this might just be close enough
COYS
April 10th, 2008 at 11:34 am
wow! that really told me off!
Hmmm? what contribution should I make this time?
How about , you are still a cunt and the scum are gonna win fuck all!
Yep, that pretty much says it all.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Oog has done a temporary oi oi…
Guess what. I DID watch the game.
Not sure how that makes me an Arsenal fan though. Surely there’s an argument (on that basis) that spending so much time on a Tottenham blog might make you a bit of a Tottenham fan though?
oi oi likes to play the intellect / career card a lot. Strange to keep insisting on playing top trumps when no one else cares enough to show their cards. But when he’s pissed off, we’re ‘bed wetting cunts’. How can such a successful and talented man show so little grace or magnanimity under pressure - its uncannily Wenger-like!
Isn’t your work here done, oi oi? I think you said you were here for the season. Now that both our seasons are over, isn’t it time to disappear forever and contribute exclusively to the arsenal blogs if they’ll have you?
Defoe on the wing
April 10th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Oi Oi,
Our ‘only glory lies in the failure of our betters’ eh?
Our glory is in the trophy cabinet, where’s yours?
you’re gonna win fuck all
April 10th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I’d watch every Ar5ena1 game and give a report if i knew it bated Oink Oink like that. You can see him in his swank office foaming at the mouth and clattering on his keyboard like a deranged chimp.
COYS!
April 10th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Norf Yid.
The simple answer is no, our over reliance on 13 or 14 key players has left us gasping for breathe in the home stretch.
Selling Diarra was not a mistake, Diarra’s decision to ask to leave was naive and he could have had a good run in the team by now, but selling was not a mistake. Not replacing him was.
2 points ahead in january and losing a player from an already skinny squad while watching ‘first teamers’ Rosicky and Van Persie, who are clearly made out of biscuits, sit out another season sends a clear signal to the manager that cheques need writing. £15/20M on 2 wingers in january could have delivered silverwear, and repaid the investment early.
But I still refuse to let those media derived storm clouds gather, we have still got a CL place for next year, and despite all those dreams from august, you could wrestle one for yourself.
Mathmatically it’s still feasible, but in all probability this sunday will see the end of our challenge.
April 10th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Norf Yid.
The simple answer is no, our over reliance on 13 or 14 key players has left us gasping for breathe in the home stretch.
Selling Diarra was not a mistake, Diarra’s decision to ask to leave was naive and he could have had a good run in the team by now, but selling was not a mistake. Not replacing him was.
2 points ahead in january and losing a player from an already skinny squad while watching ‘first teamers’ Rosicky and Van Persie, who are clearly made out of biscuits, sit out another season sends a clear signal to the manager that cheques need writing. £15/20M on 2 wingers in january could have delivered silverwear, and repaid the investment early.
But I still refuse to let those media derived storm clouds gather, we have still got a CL place for next year, and despite all those dreams from august, you could wrestle one for yourself.
Mathmatically it’s still feasible, but in all probability this sunday will see the end of our challenge.
April 10th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Oi oi.
Maybe you should buy some silverwhere, probably the only way you will get your hands on any!
April 10th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
“it’s lazy and shows a lack of intellect”
preceded by:
“all you spud cunts “
Come on Oi Oi, surely your insults can be better than that??
I am genuinely alarmed at our lack of results since the cup win though. If we were trying to scramble up the league to get a euro place, would we have done better? Probably, so why have we tailed off so much?
Not a great ‘winning mentality’. Or am I being too harsh? (perhaps it’s my baby-induced sleep deprivation kicking in)
April 10th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I watched the Liverpool arsenal game, for as much as I hate arsenal it was always going to be a good spectacle plus I had a bet with a gooner they’d lose 4-0. Didn’t quite work out but I got 3 goal scorers correct (bar Babel…predicted Torres to get 2).
Here’s a question for ya: Would you lose Berbatov if it was in order to fund the purchase of a top quality creative midfielder?
April 10th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Yes
*holds breath*
April 10th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Yes, but why can’t we have both?
I know its lazy and shows lack of intellect, but I am pasting a link to one bright young midfielder spinning around in this weeks rumour mill:
http://goal.com/en/articolo.aspx?contenutoid=653884
April 10th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Toby,
You are right, I do feel ashamed.
I dont normally resort to such utterances, I guess I must be het-up at present, my apologies to you.
1992Yido,
I assume that 1992 describes your year of birth and you haven’t been keeping a close eye on the trophy allocation over the past few years.
Yep, nothing this year, but who said it was a necessity, were we to use silverwear accumulation as the only indication of achievement we would all find ourselves very pessimistic indeed.
oog / Defoe on the wind / tenacious d
You kinda remind me of a dog eating sheeps poo, regurgitating it and them yumping it right down again.
I made an opinion that defoe could play on the wing, I stand by that, and it’s not proven either way, still, you seem to know best, and while you stated that he wasn’t good enough and fluffed every chance he ever had, I saw something else.
His issue is confidence, and were you to stand in front of several tens of thousands of people and asked to display your prowess I’m sure it would be yours too. Personally, if someones looking over my shoulder when I’m typing I always hit the wrong keys, I guess that shows what level I’m at.
If you feel that strongly that defoe cant play there, make some effort, help bagel out with a piece about how you feel he would be truly unsuited to the role. You obviously feel the need to spew it everytime you see one of my posts, if you have something up your nose, blow it out, dont let it linger.
At the moment you seem a little like Ben Kingsley in sexy beast: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Give your argument some substance, open it for debate, show you have more ability than to just critique.
All,
The end of the season approaches, I feel we were nearly men, and should we be able to hold the team together (new deal please Flamini) and make a couple of decent signings pre season, then next seaosn holds more of the same and being there or thereabouts in some of the worlds most challenging competitions isn’t a bad result at all.
How much improvement in the squad do spuds need to make to elevate themselves beyond mid table obscurity ?
April 10th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Yes Ali it was actually those rumours that prompted my question lol. This Modric guy sounds promising but I’d be happier with more of a ‘finished article’ with CL experience to be honest. Scholes plus cash for Berba?
April 10th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I’ve been scanning the internet to try and find a picture of Oi oi….
Believe it or not, i’ve found one!
here he is…
http://www.nbc10.com/2007/0620/13535998_400X300.jpg
April 10th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Aaaahhahahahahahahaa.
That’s just….nasty.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Not really Wilson, I actually think he looks quite fetching
April 10th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Just as I suspected: a bed wetter….getting a gleeful pat.
April 10th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Hahaha
April 11th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Well I hope you all enjoyed yourselves on Tuesday night, I know I did after the final whistle! The thing I’ve enjoyed most about our (the royal ‘our’ obviously) win has seen those bitter Gooner fans and listen to the whining.
My workmate is an Arse-nal fan and he’s as bitter as OiOi (you’ve given me a good few laughs with your previous posts Oi, keep it up!). Hasnt said a single gracious-in-defeat comment, all he can mumble and whine about is the refereeing decisions. Quite frankly if your star striker cant slot the ball home when he’s free in on goal then it’s your own damn fault!
I’m off to bask in the radience of yet another Champo League semi-final appearance, bring on the Northern Scum in the final!!!
April 11th, 2008 at 10:33 am
A dog eating sheep’s poo and then regurgitating it (don’t worry I typed that out rather than cutting and pasting)? What a strange image. I feel hurt and upset that you consider me so lowly - but at least you acknowledge that the thought of… defoe on the wing… is analagous to shit.
You find where I said defoe fluffed every chance he ever had, and I will discuss it with you. ‘I never said them things’! You remind me of a rabid fruitbat ingesting the droppings of a small garpike. err…
What I might have said was something along the lines that as a substitute (and he was never going to displace keane or berbatov) he didn’t get into his stride quickly enough and would miss too many chances. I’m 99.9% certain that I said he would do well at Portsmouth because he would be first choice there, and that’s what he needed, and so it has proved. I doubt his scoring record would be so impressive if redknapp played… defoe on the wing.
It was a silly thing to say, and I like to bring it up because it amuses me. Repetition is comedy. Its my opinion you spout nonsense, and… defoe on the wing… sums that up. Its true I can’t prove he wouldn’t be any good there, but only because no manager ever thinks he should play there. Thats why we never get to see… defoe on the wing.
Thanks for the tip on how to construct a measured, well thought out post though. From the man who offered up the cool logic of “bitter retarded incurable bed wetting”… “cunts”!
April 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Repetition is comedy - interesting philosophy.
One assumes you have a very mundane job, perhaps on the k-clunk-shhh-plunk machine at the local factory.
All your workmates sit around with dreary, tired expressions while you walk around with the cheesiest grin the world has known. Passing the day must be an honour to someone of your affliction, I dont imagine most of your workmates quite agree with your belly aching laughter each day as that hilarious k-clunk-shhh-plunk machine delivers yet another coil / spring / bearing and you once again get the joke and emit a new torrent of tear enduced stiffles why still maintain the ability to concentrate on the stop button in case of emergency.
It must be a blessing to see such hilarity in tasks most people would find dull.
The tea breaks must be a busy time too, the jokers in the pack never needing new material when you’re around, any chance they get they deliver that same old knock knock / mother in law / witty retort and you burst into spontanious laughter.
I imagine a goldfish would have a similar outlook, never boring itself with a bowl that takes longer than 3 seconds to swim around.
I envy you oog.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
you are on fire today oi oi. More career based oneupmanship from the high achiever who wants all the bed wetting c*nts to be impressed by how he graduated from eating a lump of coal for breakfast to hanging around with doctors and dentists a la Graham Lister (if anyone remembers him…).
I note you haven’t come up with my quote about defoe missing every chance.
in short, you were lying.
April 11th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Oi oi,
I take it your occupation is somewhere between big game hunter and international man of mystery.
Oh, and it’s ‘induced’ and ’spontaneous’ mate. Not that spelling is that important on an informal thread like this one but you seem like a picky guy.
April 11th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
OiOi
Repetition is comedy - interesting philosophy
Worked for the Fast Show - one of the most popular sketch shows in British history and was based on constant repetition of the same jokes. Maybe you just have a crap sense of humour - after all you are a Gooner so your taste is obviously in question straight away.
I love the fact that you must know your on a hiding to nothing here but still carry on trying to act the ‘Big Man’. Kudos to you for that maybe its because your a brave man but mostly likely because, like the chicken, you’ve had your head cut off but are too stupid to realise your dead.
April 11th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Oog is right about repetition being funny.
“Oi Oi is a cunt and the scum are gonna win fuck all.”
See what I mean? It makes me laugh every time. In fact the more you write it the better it gets.
April 11th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
oog,
I wish it were so, no, I’m afraid my education spans to just a single o’level in maths, and that achieved on a grade C.
No doctors / single coal cardinality / candle for heating / paying for half a lager with a cheque stories here, no overly used actually / evidently statements from my end.
My wonderful career even has passages of time spent on the aforementioned k-clunk-shhh-plunk machine, I certainly dont have a them and us outlook beyond the fact that once I was a them and now I am an us.
Thanks sally for evidence of the first organic spell checker, I personally condone the idea.
History shows that manufacturing, once the main stay of industrial britain, defining the growth of cities like manchester and birmingham, now, capitalism dictates that children work in sweatshops in the second and third worlds, a child born of industrialisation.
The same could be said of call centres. I’m fear your organic spell checker idea will eventually be used by callous industrialist to exploit the poverty of the less fortunate.
I think I’ll just learn to spell, why should the children suffer.
April 11th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Yes why let any children suffer?
And when their old man says be an Arsenal fan, they”ll know what to say.
As the song goes:
Fuck off! bollocks! your a cunt!
All together now!
April 11th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
The organic spell checker is now on.
You’re a cunt!
April 17th, 2008 at 4:13 am
Thanks for the laughs oi oi. You made my day with all your bullshit.
You’re a fucking twat.
And you’re gunna win fuck all you stupid gooner cunt !!!!!
hahaha.