Keegan, I hate you Keegan
It’s been feeling like that terrible time when we lost to Man City. You know the game I’m talking about. Not the dirty, helpless, sick, sick feeling that sat like a stone in stomach, but the way that everyone seems to know about it. People with whom I never talk football - and that’s saying something for The Bagel - keep asking, “So what happened on Sunday?”
As much as I may not want to be reminded of it on a daily basis, in a way, I suppose it’s a good thing. It’s the shock. People are shocked we lost 4-1, at home to useless Newcastle. Now, we know it’s a shock but it’s good to see that the rest of the world thinks so too. We’re seen as a strong outfit, a team to be feared, as well we should be, and at least are public humiliation at the weekend is evidence that we have some pride to dent. Newcastle are not having a good season, but it’s still Newcastle. It’s not as if we lost to Derby.
Of course the other side of the coin and, fingers crossed so hard they’re bleeding, the more important side, is that Sunday’s game was just an experiment, albeit a horrible one that went terribly wrong; noxious, bubbling vapors all over the place and the lab in need of evacuation; some poor schmo left locked inside, his hands melting in front of his eyes at the small window in the door.
As my friend Charlie, a Yiddo though and through, pointed out, Ramos can see that 4-3-3 is not a formation we can start with given our current crop of players. It may work after half time, and does, but not a formation for the full 90. Big Bad Tom is not one for the margins. His was perhaps the painful performance of the afternoon as this giant of the game stood hopping on the sidelines waiting to receive a ball that he then do something terrible with - usually give it away.
Jamie O’Hara at left-back is another conclusion well-drawn: good solid player in the middle, a liability at the back. To be fair, the whole defence had a shocker and the likes of Woody and Safety First have no excuse, except perhaps that they couldn’t trust Jamie O. In my nightmares I see them falling all over each other for Obefemi Martins’ goal. Take a look if you can face the cringe…
Darren Bent can score goals, and good ones but he just hasn’t a clue how to play with other strikers. Dimitar the Great is given to dramatic remonstrations but his flapping arms and shrugged shoulders were in over-drive and his seem permanently to the heavens whenever Sergei missed an open opportunity.
Sadly Little Aaron made little impact from the bench and his days could well be numbered. Again, to be fair, the Barcode’s defence did a good job once their team had gathered the confidence of the 2-goal cushion. There were black and white walls of square-shouldered, square-numbered, Allardyce bullies blocking every players turn and we never even got to test Harper, all dressed up in his rhubarb & custard kit shocker.
Not even Adel Tar-bat could make much of a difference and on any other day, that would be unpleasant enough. It pains me to see such fantastic footwork and such little game knowledge and end product. He may be able to run rings around youth and reserve sides but he was taking on players like Butt and Geremi who’ve had stints in the Champions League and don’t scare easy. I really hope Juande’s conclusions are just that he’s not ready. I’d hate to see such talent go elsewhere.
Worst still though was Keegan. I hate Keegan. It’s not his passion or his honesty, I don’t really care about any of that. He can “luv it” all he likes. It’s his stupidity I can’t abide. The man is a simpleton, a thicko and he got lucky on Sunday. Now, he thinks that his players are wonderful and it feeds this chronic myth that he is a good manager; a good bloke and motivator he may be, a tactician he is not and I hate the idea of this inflated sense of intelligence. Enough Keegan, we’ll flatten you another time.
Unfortunately, that’s all a lunch-break allows for now but who can trust the stories from yesterday anyways. Did you read the one about £30m worth of United players. Had my heart racing for a second.
All work and no bagel makes Jack a dull boy.
The Bagel.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Bagel, Its nice to have you back. I hope the adjustment from night owl to day drone has not been too rough. I’ll miss the stories of dirty nickers on alram clocks, whisky-poker and sleep deprivation.
I also hope you’re right about Ramos just trying different combinations in order to judge his inventory before the summer sales begin in earnest. Even if that was the case, I feel it was unfair to the supporters.
Spurs looked quite sharp and passed the ball around nicely upfront at times for the first half an hour and then they fell asleep, but they seemed to fall over each other in back (literally, as the Martin’s goal clearly shows). Huddlestone was adrift had no idea where he was. Woody had a bad game too. He looked like he’d put acid under his alice band.
I hope the experiments end soon.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I hate keegan too infact a hate all those damn skunks
with a passion…
Damn I cant stand the news
at the moment every damn article on newsnow is
a damn 4-1 article and its wednesday for godsake!
Saw that £30m worth of United players article
too but had my calendar infront of me so i wasnt
to be fooled.
Apparently we playing a tournament in holland
the jaboolonium something against Feyenoord.
Should be better preparation than the south african
tour……..
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Was shocked to hear the score and even more shocked when i saw the highlights. Ramos wont let them dwell on it tho and a good showing against Blackburn will heal the wounds.
If not, we’ll be trying our damndest tonight/saturday/tuesday to beat the Arse and bring at least a little joy to your world!
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I hope you do RedRum
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:39 pm
So glad I flew in to London to watch that game. *sigh*
On the Shelf we were way too quiet because there just wasn’t that quid-pro-quo.
The fans urge on the team, the team responds and in turn eggs on the fans. That’s the way it’s supposed to work.
Instead they just seemed lacklustre and in turn we let the toon fans sing to their hearts content (which is a shame because I thoroughly enjoyed our chorus of “Down with the Derby! You’re going down with the Derby” and “Fuck all! You’ve never won fuck all!” after the first goal.
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Oh John, so sorry to hear. We were shamefully quiet. If it was lacklustre from the team, it was also from the fans and you’re right about the symbiosis but someone’s got to start it off.
If it’s any consolation, it wont be as bad next time. It was a special kind of afternoon.
Mr Rum, not a bad result last night. Reckon you can finish the job at yours?
And Ali, don’t you worry. There may not be the nights but there’ll always be whisky, poker and dirty knickers.
The Bagel.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:40 am
Still cant decide what was funniest, the blatant penalty not given or Bendter falling over his own feet and blocking a goal-bound effort from Fabregas.
Advantage to us I’d say, not sure about the league game (and less bothered tbh) but I’m quietly confident of getting past them in Big Cup now…
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:36 am
Less bothered about the league game ?
I’m not surprised by that sentiment, after all you have become a cup team.
Liverpool have won a record 18 league titles, and coincidentally, it has been 18 years since you last won a title.
How ironic.
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:33 am
Which would YOU rather win, oi oi? The league game or the second leg?
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:48 am
Think everyone can see Benitez is more suited to euro competitions that the Premierleague so, yes - with no chance in the title race and a 5 point buffer against Everton - I’d take a loss on Sat for a win on Tues every time.
If we were still in the title race I’m sure my priorities would be different
Your real name isnt Alanis Morissette by any chance?
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
The league game.
And I’d like to draw the second leg 2-2.
Thanks !
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
….such swill from Oi(nk) oi(nk).
April 8th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Good stuff as always but can’t go with all of the KK points.
I got a lot of respect for Keggie and expect them to challenge us next year a lot more than the likes of City, Pompey, and Blackburn who are years behind us.
Agree that Lenny’s days may be numbered which probably goes for the rest of the midfield too.
Poor old Darren, decent enough but not what we needed last summer at all, I wish him well next season at his next club.
I reckon Tommy will be great one day but doubt it will be on the flanks where Adel should surely be if he is going to play.
Roll on the transfer window