Beef Bagel

Why I love Juande, reason No.58: Juande the psychologist.

“We did none of the things that the team was doing before our arrival. If they used to train on one pitch and leave through a certain door, then we changed the training to another pitch and sent them out through a different door,” said the great man to Spanish magazine El Mundo.

“We changed timetables, diet, everything. We wanted them to forget everything from before, like it never existed. When you want to change something you have to break with routine.”

I think these kind of things are so important in sport. A manger is dealing with a squad full of young men with not all that much life experience and often not as much mental strength as we may like to think. Their minds are still for molding and Jaunde can see that. I don’t care for the psychology of mind games between managers but as a general to his troops, moral belief are so very important. Hang on I’m sure there was a bit more of that quote elsewhere…

“I’m happy for the fans more than anything, because in a big club like this one, nine years of winning absolutely nothing had generated a pessimism throughout the entire club that was impossible to measure.”

It almost makes me weep with joy and any niggles of the season’s tail are thrown out of the window when I realise he was right. We may be finishing mid-table how my spirits soar to the memory of our cup run but more importantly every hard fought, close run game where we’ve really challenged the Big Four this season. Do we have one more performance left in the tank for Liverpool?

Unsurprisingly, all the talk from now on is of transfers but there was one story that popped up in the press yesterday and that’s of good old MJ who looks like he may just have bagged himself a job at AZ Alkmaar as Louis Van Gaal heads out to Galatasaray. Good on you MJ and the best of luck. I still look forward to his return to the Lane. Just imagine the reception, the hallowed chorus of “I love Martin Jol” because as much as The Bagel respects Juande, I know who I’d rather share a whiskey and cigar with.
Most of the papers have moved from whether or not Dimi will go to where he’ll end up, which unfortunately is probably the correct analysis. We’ve persuaded. He’s waited. We persuaded some more and he gave us another stay of execution but this finally looks like this is it. The dude’s 27 and even if we were to finish in the top four next season, he’d be 29 before he actually got to play in the Champions League. You can’t blame him really.

The Bagel’s been reading that he will not be going to United after Red Faced Fergie outlined his summer transfer policy:

“I don’t think I will bring in as many as last season and if we buy players it will probably be young ones.”

But frankly, that’s not enough for The Bagel. Maybe United will not be buying as many players as last summer but all the Chewing Gum Machine said was they “will probably be young ones”. That’s completely meaningless. They probably will be young but they might not be, i.e. they might be older, say around 27. So essentially, we’re still none the wiser.

It gets really tough because there’s no real way of predicting where the Beautiful Bulgarian would rather go. He likes United and he’s already settled in the UK but Milan is nearer to home and it’s not like he’s afraid of picking up sticks. He was happy enough to leave Germany after five years and he’s only been here two. We’ll get more money if he goes up north but as Mr.Swaine said, I think we’d all rather see the cheque written out in euros.

If we wanted to spend almost all of that at once, we could always post it all out to Spain for the services of the marvellous Daniel Alves. There’s no doubting he’s a top player that any side would want, but full back is probably the least of worries right now. We’ve already got around £16m’s worth in Hutton and Chimbondabonda. Why on earth do we want to throw away £25m on a better squad when we’re going to be needing two strikers, two wingers, a goalie, a centre half and well, probably a couple of midfielders too. That’s nearly a whole team of necessity apart from sodding full-backs.

Alves is more likely to go to Chelsea and I’ve a feeling these rumours have simply been sparked because the 24-year-old Brazilian used to work at the same place as “the Perfect Juan” as he’s apparently known at the Lane, but if just in case you want a little tempation, take a look at this…

Shit, he’s good. I suppose we could just put him on the wing, couldn’t we? Please, Mr Levy, please?

Perhaps a more frugal way to spend the Dimi windfall would be by buying an excellent player for just £8m and in a position much needed too. The only problem is that like you can forget the sell on factor because AC Milan defensive midfielder Rin Gattuso is 30 years old.

At just 5′9″ and over 12 stone, this badger of a man has been doing the dirty work in the middle so unusual for most Italian footballers, and he’s done it so incredibly well. Here’s his head…

…making nice with his opposite number.

The man they call Ringhio or the Snarler (better than the Growler I suppose) has been at Milan for nearly a decade now and is reportedly looking for a new challenge. Kevin Keegan’s ears were the first to prick up but I’ve a feeling that Newcastle is probably taking the word “challenge” a little too far.

It’s supposed to be between us, United and Munich and of I were him, I’d come to the Lane. He’ll play week in week out for us for as long as his legs’ll last and I should think aiming for a top four finish would represent a worth achievement indeed if he’s up for it. I don’t think he’d go for United, already stacked with centre mids and little new to play for but the pimped up Munich could be a near to home option with a few friendly faces too. Do we have any players that even speak the guys language.

It’s unlikely this deal will ever materialise and he’s certainly no long term answer but I’d like to see how far he could drag us up the table and we’d have a couple of derby day scraps guaranteed.

If we wanted some real ointment to soothe the Berbtatov wound, I’m sure David Villa would be a salve most people would find effective. Until now, it’s looked like Valencia’s hit man would be on his way to Chelsea with us as an outside chance but the man who’s scored 51 goals in 95 appearances for the Spanish club has had something to say about the matter himself…

“I watch the Premier League a lot and the team I’m most attracted to is definitely Arsenal.”

Oh.

“Their brilliant one and two-touch football…”

I see..

“…and the whole style of rapid counter-attack…”

…yes, I see…
“…which dominates the top level of the Premier League now…”

…ok, we get the picture…

“…is the one which suits my game best of all.”

Enough, enough! Jesus Christ Dave give it a rest, I think Arsene heard you the first time.
Right, so, we can cross David “goon pants” Villa off the Christmas list.

Perhaps we’ll have some better luck tomorrow.

If at first you don’t succeed, cheat.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 at 2:09 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.