Beef Bagel

Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Not satisfied with doing my own work or simply playing flash games all night while I’m supposed labouring for some company on a temp basis, me and the rest on the graveyard shift have taken to playing poker. Now, I’m not talking about the online variety, I’m talking about six of us sitting around a board room table with a green baize cloth, two decks of ex-casino cards and a case of chips. I wouldn’t mind but I keep going out heads up with the better hand. I long for the time I’m back onto days but bugger me, I’ll never have it this easy again. Getting paid to lose at poker.

Now, I’ve got to keep this proper quick. I’ve an interview tomorrow at some ungodly hour of the day and it’d be good to be able to walk in their without the grey bags under the eyes I’ve just spent the last week shooting heroin look. I haven’t by the way.

So, Chelsea, hmmm? I’m finding it hard to get excited about any of the games at the moment and there’s a part of me that’s just rather give them the three points and be done with it. Terrible, isn’t it? It’s a rather tricky case of little to play for against a team that are not only rabid with revenge but also making a good blind-side run for the title. So long as we don’t lose by more than three goals, we’ll still be the ones laughing at them with many a taunt of “You’re gonna win fuck all” and with the comfort of a good threat to arsenal’s hopes if we give the blues what they want. On the other hand, I do hate Chelsea and it would give me immense pleasure to do them yet again. It’s probably as close to win-win as you get in a London derby.

Ledders was back in training but without Robbo, so it’s the Czech Republic’s No.2, unless of course Juande fancies a bit of Roy of the Rovers named Tommy Forecast. The rest of the usual suspects are still licking their wounds and the papers are full of Chelsea nonsense but we’ll see for ourselves come later tonight.

Dimitar the Great’s agent, Emil Dantchev, is on the jazz again with his latest to comments to drum up as much cash for himself and his client. He said:

“He is happy but what I know from my 25 years in football is that if a player is happy somewhere, it does not mean he cannot be persuaded to be happy somewhere else for my own personal gain.”

No, he didn’t really say that. His version went more like:

“He is happy but what I know from my 25 years in football is that if a player is happy somewhere, it does not mean he cannot be happy somewhere else,” but I think we get the picture.

The problem here isn’t about whether or not we’ll keep Dimi…no, actually that is exactly what the problem is. The problem with comments from agents like these is that they utterly meaningless. They don’t answer the original question in any way. It’s just about maximising the amount of cash that Team Berba can harvest. It looks like he’s happy with us but one could imagine him being happy in Milan, I hear it’s beautiful this time of year. Either way, he’s in a good position with offers on the table and Spurs itching to renew his deal. There’s another win-win for you, as far as Dantchev is concerned anyway: more money from Spurs or more money from Milan. Shall we take Sterling or Lira? Does Lira still exist? Probably not. Fine Euros will do. These are all fun choices if you’re an agent.

Now, I’m sure there was one thing I wanted to say before I shave my scraggy beard down to a more presentable light stubble. Nope, slipped my mind. Anyway, wish me luck and enjoy your day.

My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand bagels in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 7:44 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.