Beef Bagel

It’s all about saving for the future today, whichever way you look at it. The dawn of our UEFA Cup second leg comes and with it the realisation that we’ve some business of a serious nature to take care of before our big day out on Sunday. Finally the comments have come from the players and manager; the ‘just focusing on the next game’ comments, and why not with the coach of Slavia, Karel Jarolim, breathing his pilsner and prossie-warmed breath down our Mansion-shirted necks. He said:

“We don’t think they will be thinking about Sunday or resting players, but if they are we will be ready to capitalise.”

We may not be thinking about Sunday - well not much - but one big, juicy beef bagel says we’ll be resting a soul or two. According to Woody Woodgater:

“I will be going out against Slavia playing 100 per cent”

‘If I’m not fit for the Cup Final, then I am not fit. I will do everything I can to play for Spurs and if something happens, it happens.”

No, please be fit. We need you.

“Believe you me, I won’t even be thinking about the Cup Final when we play against Slavia.”

I will. Every crunch he goes in for my knuckles will be turning white as I grip the faces, clothes and - what the hell, I might as well enjoy myself - breasts of everyone around me in terror, or mock terror if I fancy another squeeze.

Big D, Safety First Michael Dawson, is well and truly out with a hamstring problem, the same injury that’s keeping the Prince of the Kevs from his spot on the bench. Neither will be good for tonight or Sunday. Hamstring injuries just don’t heal that fast. Groins are worse but hammies aren’t great either, especially in this Arctic weather. I imagine Juande won’t be breaking Ledders out of his oxygen purified, temperature controlled, crushed velvet, glass-tempered case just yet and it looks as if it’ll be either Didier Zee or Big Bad Tom at the back alongside Woody.

The Jonourable Juan won’t be taking tonight’s job lightly, though, and in what seems to be a slight change of tune, says that it’s Europe that takes precedent:

“The Uefa Cup, as a competition, is a priority and we have to try to beat Slavia. After that, we have three days to prepare for the final and we’ll select the players depending upon how tired they are. Obviously Sunday will be a very beautiful and passionate game for the club and the fans, as it’s been such a long time since we were in a final, but a European final would always be more important than a final in a domestic cup competition.”

Although to be fair to the guy, and to keep this clear, he hasn’t said that tonight is more important but if it were the UEFA Cup final, it would be. Ok. I can cope with that. Although I would miss the double satisfaction of winning at Wembley and rubbing Chelsea’s faces firmly into what the steaming piles of what the police horses leave behind on Sunday if we had to chose Europe over the League Cup. Perhaps another mind game for the troops; Takes the pressure of and brings a little more focus to the game in hand?

Of course there’s still the rock and the hard place decision between two keepers that no-one’s overly thrilled about and it’s clear now that Gilberto, our unfortunately named Brazilian is not going to be ready in time for either game this week. Actually, while we’re keeper focused, there has been a gent of that the gloved profession linked with our good club and it’s Spanish revolution for a couple of weeks now and it seems only fitting that we take a look at his credentials.

Marco Amelia is first choice at Serie A outfit Livorno and second behind Buffon for the Azzurri. He’s a tiddler for a keeper at just 6′1″ and only 12 stone but who needs the height if you happen to be bloody good? Here’s his head…

…doing his Rocky Balboa. “Adrianne! Adrianne!”

Marco was a product of the Roma youth system and was settled at Livorno until coach Daniele Arrigoni was fired. He didn’t like this at all, and he had some words in the papers for the club president, Aldo Spinelli. They went like this:

“He should go himself, if he’s got the balls to do it.”

Start talking to an Italian about the size of his balls and that’s like a red rag to a bull. The only thing worse would be to talk about the size of his mother’s balls. Don’t expect to waking up for while if you try that one on your summer holidays. So funnily enough, Spinelli had some words back for the 25-year-old upstart:

“I’ve tried to teach Amelia some manners but he can’t hold his tongue, like all Romans.”

Don’t suppose any one advised him that that might come off a teensey bit racist?

All the same, the upshot is that despite Amelia’s contract lasting until 2011, everyone’s got a feeling he’ll be free to leave come the summer. Sven’s already got on eye on him and with signings like Elano and Petrov to his credit and a first-hand knowledge of the Italian market, that’s a pretty good marker. £7.5m is the supposed tag and there’s more to this rumour than smoke and bagels.

“I have an interesting offer from Tottenham. It is a move that appeals to me and is something I am seriously considering at the end of the season,”

So says Amelia, himself. How he’d find the switch to London, though, is another matter altogther. If Spenelli is to be believed, Marco will turn up with his gladius sharpened and pilum pointed but the simpler matter of finding somewhere to live may fox the Roman keeper. Even bilingual Jonny Woodgate can’t seem to negotiate his way out of his London hotel room…

“I need to find a place to live. We’ve seen apartments, we’ve seen houses and all the prices and it’s a lot more expensive down here than it is up north.”

Yes, because it’s nice down here.

“But that’s London and that’s the way it is. Hopefully, I can find a house and get settled.”

Actually, walking back to the Bakery in the small hours passed late night chicken shops and the stench of tramps’ piss, I can imagine a bit of counrtyside, be it North or South, being quite nice too.

What I liked most of all were Woody’s comments on Ledley. He said:

“Ledley trained today so hopefully he will be fit. He looks ready because he’s been training, and he’s been doing things in the gym as well.”

Now that sounds promising and everything but what “things” has Ledley been doing in the gym; trying to pick his toe-nails with his teeth, playing hide and seek, sniffing the saddles of the exercise bikes? Sounds fishy to me; not the seats - at least I hope not.

And that sort of leads us back to tomorrow night’s game. Ledley probably will be saved for Sunday but old Jarolim will be ready for anything more lax.

“I expect them to try and settle it early, and it will be our task to prevent them,” he said.

“We need to keep it tight and score a goal ourselves.”

“If we didn’t believe, we wouldn’t come. We come with respect, but in my opinion, with luck we can win.”

With luck, they won’t but with Sunday on all our lips, you never do know.

Now, that leaves me with one last thing - clip of the day aside. The Bagel’s managed to get himself involved with a newspaper, if only on a small level. There’s a new freesheet in town, known as The Tart, which is right up my street; so much so that I’ve written a couple articles for them. It’s a comedy newspaper and I’m told the other pieces are as good as mine, although I doubt it, but have a read for yourself if you’re around the Square Mile tomorrow afternoon/evening. And if you can’t grab yourself a copy, then check out their site on www.thetartpaper.com.

Game on.

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife…and I will have my bagel, in this life or the next.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 21st, 2008 at 7:04 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.