New Boys’ Reports
Apologies of the absence. Indeed this wretched night work is giving me a good and regular kicking while his two henchman, No Time and Tonnes Of Shit On My Plate, hold me down to make it easy. Like a private detective from a film noir, I head back to the Bakery, survey the mess that is, pull down my bed from the wall and dive under a duvet of down and paperwork. I haven’t seen daylight for a little while but apart from the positive effects on the skin I’m beginning to think it’s overrated.
Naturally, my only time outside the routine is left for my love of all things Spurs and it was a pleasure to head down to the Madejski the other day to watch a triumphant and superior, if a little yellow, Tottenham defeat Championship Reading in their Championship ground to the relative quiet of their Championship fans. To be fair, they weren’t that bad and after their team began to show signs of recovery in the second 45, they did have a bit of a sing song with us, their best effort being “You’re just a small club near arsenal”.
Got to say, I was quite impressed with Stevio Coppello’s tactics: keep it tight in the first half and come at us in the second when we were all comfortable and smug in our ascendance. Of course the only problem was that they didn’t keep it tight enough to begin with. Funny as well how “coming at us” means subbing on Stephen Hunt, who I keep wanting to call “Rex”, to run about, chase everything down and make a general pain in the arse of himself like some sort of angry Bryan May sadly not delighting us with the sounds of his guitar as he goes/ Probably a good thing Hunt is allowed to take the field with Stratocaster in hand. Imagine the mess he would’ve made of Petr Cech’s head? On second thoughts…
For the third time in a row, Hunt was greeted by chants of “Where’s your caravan, where’s your caravan?” in reference to his Irish decent and therefore certainty that he’s a pikie. I didn’t sing it. Don’t know really but after the Man City experience, I think twice about what’s being sung from the stands. I’d tell him he was some sort of frizzy cunt if he got close enough to my seat at the Lane but at least that he is. What I’ll also add is that he’s a good player, a poor man’s Robbie Savage with a bit more going forward than the blond-haired relegation candidate.
Now Alberto, as well you asked, how was young Christopher Gunter? There certainly was a murmur amongst the Spurs as he took the field in his No.44 squad shirt and skipped out with his slightly gangly frame. Very quickly he showed us how good he is at getting forward and launching a decent ball into the box. We like. In fact, within the first five minutes we were giving him the glorious christening, pointing at him on mass and shouting “Yiddo, Yiddo, Yiddo!” - one of my favourite duties as a dedicated Spurs fan. His inexperience got him caught once or twice at the other end of the field but certainly nothing to indicate a lack of ability; looking like a good purchase so far and, as you rightly said Hornchurch, good to see Juande giving him a start. He wouldn’t bother if he hadn’t been impressed with the kid either.
But it wasn’t all about Gunter. There was another young gent on the turf in the hideous canary yellow of that nasty away kit; another new player still very much under the Tottenham microscope. We’ve seen him play quite an number of times but it’s like he’s stuck on the stage, trapped under a cover slip and doing his best to avoid the light of the mirror shining up his arse and out for the world to see. Prince Kev is doing an excellent job of avoiding all media hype and keeping his jury well and truly out.
Once again the hard-running, exotic-tackling, shot-taking, central midfielder put in a performance neither dazzling nor disappointing but then, isn’t that what box-to-boxers do until you figure out their game? With Prince Kev, it’s another case of missing experience; a whole bunch of good passing and energetic play slightly marred by the kinds of wrong decision that leaves the opposition on the break. It’s all very well doing it against Championship Reading but slip up against arsenal et al and suddenly we’re a goal down.
There’s something disturbingly Hossam Ghaly about the way he plays. He’s a natural athlete like JJ and he’s definitely got skill but whether he’ll develop that famous footballing brain is another thing altogether and quite an important thing. There are many things you can teach in football. That’s why we have a skills coach on the staff but intelligence for the game can only be coached. If you’re a thicko and you fundamentally don’t quite get the game, you never will - whether that be an intelligence of movement or tactics - you can teach them to play but you can’t teach them to think. Is he a prince or is he a kev?
It’s a real pleasure to be concentrating on our signings rather than the ones we’ve yet to make. The whole merry-go-round is starting to do me in a bit. Brazilian striker Dave turns us down over what seems to be money motivated reasoning - lucky escape it seems - so now the press dig up old stories of Juande’s old striker, Alexander Kerzhakov. The press have tracked the poor fucker down at the Sevilla training ground and extracted a quote from him like a confession from the supposed Guildford Four.
“Speaking about my career in Seville, I am not satisfied with the state of things as I am adamant to see more match time at the club,” he said and fair enough, he’s a footballer, he wants to play.
“So I could change team and I want to continue my career in Europe,” he adds which has somehow translated as he’s definitely joining us.
Of course we may well be in need of a new striker with no Fred option and the Little Yiddo’s name being tossed about like a rag doll amongst Dobermans. I keep having to remind myself that Ramos has offered him the door before I instantly rubbish rumours about Jermain visiting the Villa training ground or becoming Keegan’s first target. Somehow I still don’t think he’ll leave us and nor will Sergei Bent, not yet.
The story that fascinates me amid all the chaff is Jarquegate. The latest twist is that Keegan, once again throwing his transfer mittens about in snow, is set to snatch the Espanyol defender from under our collective nose. Interesting that given that the player has come out and said the connections between us and him are pure fabrication. The clue for me is that his club has suggested the story is a smoke screen to cover our real intentions over a real deal.
Now, what kind of transfer would require such a hush-hush approach? Most likely one over a player who would cause a stir if it was generally known that he was available; a good player, one that bigger clubs might want. And why would we use Espanyol as a smoke screen unless we had to fly in and out of the town where the club is based without suspicion and the town in which they are based is Barcelona. Now, I’m saying we’re about to sign Ronaldinho but, fuck knows, we might be? Paella for thought.
One thing I never could stomach about Santa Carla - all the damn bagels.
The Bagel.
January 18th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Ronaldinho?????
Blimey Bagel
Those night shifts have sent you doolally.
I think Ramos will not do too much in this transfer window. I’m sure he knows who he wants. The summer will see “his” team take shape.
He is still sorting the wheat from the chaff with our current squad.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Thee are a few rumours going around about that russian winger ‘Arseshaver’ being fought over between ourselves and them lot down the road. I take it from seeing as he didn’t feature here that it’s not happening?
January 18th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
cheers bagel
its no secret but i thought the chelsea game underlined just how inexperienced our midfield is with both lennon and tarararararabat both frustratingly guilty of almost beating their man and panicing and playing the ball behind the strikers - lets face it steeeeed can’t do it on his own lets hope kev fulfills his potential
talking of which can someone please point out to comoli that buying young players with potential is all well and good but its possible they could be potentially crap too - not so bad when its 1m or so but otherwise….
also how about this
”Commitment seems to be a lost word for Portsmouth’s new signing Lassana Diarra. On arrival from Arsenal he said: “The people at Portsmouth know I will not spend my life at this club. If I shine, if a really big club wants me, I know that everything will go well.”
you have to laugh - but not if your a pompey fan i guess
January 19th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Mrs WHS is an ardent Posh supporter (and Victoria Beckham despiser), and on occasion I have to go and see the team play, a blessing this year, Darren Ferguson is doing a great job, and last weeks thumping of accrington shows real promotion pedigree.
Anyhow, on occassion, London Road has hosted that team from South Cambridgeshire that shares the same name as the county. Each of these occasions sees me and wifey mid terrace, london road end, cheering on Mr Posh and friends.
I remember the chants directed toward the visitors keeper, ‘wheres ya caravan’, ’sheepshagger’ (ironic?) etc etc, give him his due, cant remember his name, he took it very well, and never had any ‘mares in the games I saw.
The chants are designed to put him off, to gain the home advantage, after all thats what it’s for. Boys games, I suppose, cant see anything wrong with that. You cant put him off by shouting Boo or wearing a scary mask.
Who wants football to be sterilised any further anyway, that spuds thug from the game last week, do we really want him and all his kind to disappear? do we want games to be more like a gospel meeting ? That animal, if he had been out of order, like slapping a kid or an oldie, you know you would have done something about it, regardless of who you support, thats what keeps him in his place.
Anyone who remembers going to Chelsea in the 80’s will remember the success of groups like combat 18 / NF / British Movement were at recruiting easily led youths that wanted to belong to something.
Into the 90’s that had all changed, maybe we all became a little less ignorant, I just dont want to see a return to the really dark days, but still want that thrill that the game gives.
January 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Hahahahaha! Has anyone read the Sunday Mirror?!
Berbatov is a Newcastle fan, and is going there, instead of Man utd. Also, `Newcastle will sign Ledley King aswell…Why not throw in Keane too??!
Not wishing to tempt fate - but what a load of bollocks - Shite, lazy Journalism at its worst.
January 20th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
There should be a law that every time journalist puts a rumour in his article and it turns out to be totally false then he should have the cost for printing it deducted from his wages.
January 20th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Oh and:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article3216692.ece
Good article by Big MJ on Keano and his hundred.
January 20th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Was at the Sunderland game yesterday… taught we were good, o hara is getting better and better every game… Amazing how composed Big bad Tom looked in defence, some great long range passes too.
Keano getting his 100th magic!
bring on the scum! on Tuesday!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:33 am
I see the Times are reporting that Juande Ramos has decided he wants to keep Jermain Defoe at the club despite suggestions he could join Aston Villa…..?
Good win against Sunderland on Saturday & a clean sheet to boot!
January 21st, 2008 at 11:23 am
i take it keano’s celebration (jump, roll, kneel, shoot) was a one-off special to mark his tun?
thought he’d hung that one up, for a more cantona-esque ’stand still, with arms in the air’ celebration?
January 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm
greedo
he did both
January 21st, 2008 at 12:37 pm
It was good to see Keano’s celebration brought out once more, just for old times sake. Gutted that I wasn’t there with Mini Yid. But another 3 points in the bag & a clean sheet
COYS!
January 21st, 2008 at 12:52 pm
2-0, a perfectly decent result at home to sunderland. I thought the performance was ropy though. Good start, should have killed them off early in the first half but after that we let them dictate play. If they’d got an equaliser it would have been a fair result and our just desserts for once again being so slack when it comes to killing games off.
But whatever the result tomorrow night, we will not care either way about how we played against Sunderland, so the result was all that mattered.
I think it says it all when I say that Chimbonda came on and played WORSE for 12 minutes than Stalteri did. He was so bad I was thinking it might have been on purpose.
January 21st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
It was great to see Keane’s old celebration, and to keep a clean sheet even though Sunderland had there chances. I thought Cerny was outstanding and O’Hara is realy coming along….also some of Huds long balls were class, from which we should have scored twice!
Bring on the ARSE tomorrow!
COYS!
January 21st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
add to that lee young pyo who has now completely lost the plot im afraid 2-0 flattered us a bit
huddlestone had a great game at the back and his distribution excellent
January 21st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I loved keane’s celebration. Exquisite technique. Did anyone see Elano’s celebration a week or so ago? One of the worst I’ve ever seen.
January 21st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
It wouldn’t surprise me to see a few faces from the first team returning tomorrow.
Despite the great game he had, I imagine hoyte will play right back, with gallas / senderos at the back, traore filling the left berth.
Midfield should see denilson continue, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see flamini or gilberto slip in alongside him - I expect cesc to be on the bench.
Rosicky should start with walcott taking the right wing, that’ll leave bentner and eduardo up front.
However, we could see walcott play through the middle for a change.
It’ll be a close game, and I imagine Arsene will pick the team he thinks is good enough, rather than the first team which he knows is good enough - if you get what I mean.