There’s probably a stat out there that’d make even Ronaldo look like a waste of space.

The Bagel.

Using your statistics is hardly a dig at spuds now is it ?

Err - no he hasn’t!

Interesting you should chose to take an average from Woodgate’s last six seasons when in the 7th and 8th ago he played 49 and 34 games respectively.

If you take those into account, his average is 28 which is around three-quarters of a Premiership campaign but let’s bear in mind that includes his disaster season at Real, where he played just 3 times.

But the thing is, why should a calculation of mean appearances over the last few years give any kind of indication of his future fitness? A far better measure would be his modal or median average which come out as 37 and 31 and would help iron out freak values and outliers.

If anyone’s lost, don’t bother trying to decipher what I’ve written because more simply put: “there’s lies, damn lies and statistics”.

Now, on far more important matters, the real reason behind the Little Yiddo’s barnet:

http://www.thetartpaper.com/sport.php?id=129

The Bagel.

But they are playing well, Moyes is doing a great job up there and they play some decent football. Whatever you may think of your team, you have to improve in stages and the teams you are (or were last season) competing against are the teams you need to beat.

Yakuba is away, Cahill is suspended, so you have to say the pressure is on Johnson to step up, however, playing as a main striker would suit him, and he likes to attack defences.

The good news for you is that that laugh-a-minute calamity of a defender dawson is suspended, giving you a chance to shore up at the back, unless Cerny wants to practice his Robinson impressions a little more.

Arteta is having a great season, and though a plodder, even Neville is playing well. It’ll be interesting to see if Jenas and Huddlestone have any joy there, while Lennon has gone off the boil a bit in recent times, Malbranque is picking up pace a little.

I dont see you grabbing 3 points, but they dont draw many, and your away record is appalling, it looks like a home banker, forcing to you gulp down another mouthful from the well of reality.

3 points for us, roll your eyes up just a little and you’ll see us sitting pretty at the top of the table. Adabayor now just needs 4 more to enter the league of 20 goals a season strikers, it’s been a long time since you had one of them hasn’t it? And just so we have a comparison - you paid £16.5M for bent, we paid £3M for Adabayor. It just shows what you can get if you shop around.