Beef Bagel

He came! He came! I went to bed early last night like a good little Yiddo. I left out a glass of Lillywhite milk, chocolate mini-footballs for his reindeer, Hoddle and Villa, and a photo of Steve Perryman to keep him warm on his long night an sure enough Father Yidmas has come.

I came down this morning, rubbed the sleep from my tired little eyes and what did I see waiting for me wrapped up in a little red bow but 18-year-old right back, Chris Gunter. For Chris, of course, it would have felt like Christmas whatever day he signed for Spurs but for us it looks like the start of a bumper festive season.

Born in Newport, South Wales, Chris singed for Cardiff City at the tender age of eight and has been there ever since. Having represented his country since U17 level, it was no surprise that Chris made his debut for the Bluebirds in August last year and bagged his first full cap for Wales just nine months later.

He’s good size for a full-back at 5′11″ and can take on most wingers for muscle at a healthy 11st 2lbs. Here’s his head…

…fending off an early offer from Wenger.

Cardiff manager, Dave Jones, said:

“He’s very athletic, he’s got great pace and can pick out a pass. He will get stronger and stronger.

“Maybe they will have to be a little bit patient with him, because he is still learning his trade.”

“I feel they’ve bought another good prospect like Gareth Bale - he’s just as good and capable on the right-hand side.”

Word has it that the deal worth £2m hinged on a phone call from Bale himself and thankfully the good old Valley’s connection came through for us.

As far as The Bagel’s concerned, if he’s two-thirds as good as BALE!BALE!BALE! then we’re on to a winner. I actually start to salivate when I imagine this Welsh duo in the full-back positions, foiling attackers, the scourge of defenders. It takes me back to the days of Cliff Jones which I was never alive for in the first place. Have we had any dud Welshmen? Super Si, GB, Cliff Jones, Ronnie Bugess, Terry Medwin (had to look those last two up); all fine exponents of the game and like my mate Charlie, Yiddos through and through.

Gunter becomes our sixth full back and our third on the right-hand side, assuming that Paul Stalteri actually still exists. With Bonders frequenting the centre-back role, there’s a good chance we may see Gunter feature once or twice when times are tough, though from what Dave Jones has said, this may be a little premature and this is where the plot thickens like day old porridge.

Once again Comolli has indicated that he is to test the Scottish resolve by firing off a fax worth £7m for the services of Alan Hutton the minute the clock strikes 12 on New Year’s Eve. Should we land the 23-year-old Rangers right-back that should pretty much keep the position filled until my son starts coming to the Lane and haven’t even thought about having one of those yet. Seven mill is a lot of dough for a full-back not called Alves, so let’s hope those plaudits from Red Faced Fergie were not the misinterpreted babblings through a mouth full of gum in a heavy Glaswegian accent.

Away from the UK, we’re looking to go double Dutch in January with the friendliest of raids on fellow Yiddos, Ajax. “Yoda! Yoda! Yoda!” as they say over there with absolutely no reference to small, green, Jedi Masters.

The first bid is for midfielder, Hedwiges Maduro, and I can help but feel this one’s a case of opportunism as much as anything else. Twenty-two-year-old Maduro’s been playing for Ajax since 2004 and for his country a year later and will be out of contract come the summer. Word has it he’s refusing to stay in Holland with interest coming in from the Premiership an according to the Daily Star, Comolli will be the first to the table. However, according to The Bagel, the Daily Star is full of shit and I can’t see that we’d be up for this kid given his expertise are not in the defensive department, but all the same…

He’s six and half feet tall. Here’s his head…

…hand-cuffed and jump-suited doing time the hard way in an Alabama state prison.

Err…hang on a sec. I’ve just had Google translate a few Dutch pages for me and it seems Maduro is listed as a midfielder/defender or what we might call a defensive midfielder. Seven goals in 56 appearances didn’t sound that defensive but then in terms of Eredivisie, that practically makes him a goalkeeper.

Maduro’s teammate, slightly more on the defensive side, is Urby Emanuelson (good name - the Urby part). Urby - God I can’t wait for headlines like “Urby Rides Again” etc - is a full-back who can also play in midfield although it’s a little unclear as yet to whether he plays midfield like BALE!BALE!BALE! or Didier Zee. Whatever the case, the 21-year-old product of the Ajax youth system plays on the left side, which would make a grand total of four first team left-backs, which would have to send one of the current stock packing.

Christ, I’ve got to start doing my research properly again, i.e. before I start writing. So, ok. He can play on the left of midfield if used in the second bank of players but more importantly, he looks bloody good. Emanuelson was part of Holland’s U21 UEFA Championship winning side of 2006 and get this, he was named at left-back as part of the UEFA Team of the Tournament and later Amsterdam talent of the year 2006. I like.

He’s of Dutch-Surinam decent like a certain Dred Lord by the name of Edgar, he’s 5′10″ and around 10st 5lbs. Here’s his head…

…along with father, Morgan Freeman, and mother, Jimmy Crankie.

To give you some indication, I could show you a goal he scored…

…see, I just did. But to tell the real story, take a look at this. I’d recommend a couple of viewings…

Now, according to the kid’s agent, talks concerning a January move to WHL are “ongoing” after a £5.5m bid was recently rejected and it looks like a stonking £7m yet again could be the offer that cracks it. Are we really about to spend £16m on full-backs when central defenders and defensive midfielders are far more the issue? Quite possibly. Would it bother me? Only if they were crap and that as ever remains to be seen. But as far as Urby goes, he gets a bagel thumbs up.

As much as I’d like to continue, there’s Christmas Day to contend with a there’s a good 5 hour of stuffing myself more firmly than that Turkey we’ve all just woken up from, drinking myself into some sort of wine coma and embarrassing everyone else as I nail them at Trivial Pursuits - although I’ve a feeling that my friends and family are wise to this one now and have got Cranium lined up instead. Damn that filthy dough.

Enjoy the rest of the day and the footy tomorrow. Merry Christmas.

Here’s to my brother George; the richest bagel in town.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2007 at 8:59 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.