Beef Bagel

I’ve only just landed. My first league win at the Lane this season and what a good win it was. Did we deserve it over Man City? No, but did we deserve that badly needed points of three? We certainly did. In fact by my count we’re still one down. The real justice of the last two league encounters would be a win over Boringham and draw with City, so with only three points to show instead of four we’re due another.

I wouldn’t fancy telling the blue side of Manchester that we were hard done by. It was not the best 24 hours for them. First they had their local hero sparked out on the canvas by a grudgingly better opponent then they get done at ours by a goal that was not only offside but handball as well. The best part of all though was that it shut them right up. One of the biggest bugbears of my season ticket at WHL is the day that Man City fans turn up and start singing Blue sodding Moon. I hate it. What the hell has it got to do with football or contests or battles or anything other than some lonely, jilted, Manky git? Some people hate I’m forever blowing bubbles but if it weren’t for West Ham I’d quite like it. At least it’s got something interesting about it but Blue bastarding Moon, I mean what the fuck is that all about? Why, apart from just to get right under my crust?

So, yes, anyway. Thankfully I can only recall one chorus of that from Sunday, quickly drowned out by the goal-like cheer that went up as the news of the game at the Riverside danced its way across the Jumbotron screens. Delicious.

In some ways it was a funny old encounter. For the first time in a while City actually looked like a quality outfit. They looked like they could pass well, they looked attacking, they looked together, they looked skillful. They looked like us, or how we have been for the last couple of seasons. Perhaps they were the Michael Carrick XI before the days of Dimitar the Great when we didn’t lose games or concede goals but didn’t score that many either.

It was painfully obvious how badly they were missing Elano and any real threat in front of goal. Vassell’s still Vassell, it doesn’t matter who you put behind him. You just can’t polish a turd. Petrov was frankly disappointing given no real chance to attack the space nor run onto a well-threaded pass. His delivery was fantastic as proved by the goal and there was a rather scary moment where he appeared to be faster than Little Aaron - although the jury is still out on that given that Little Aaron was on the ball at the time and decelerating to dummy round some blue shirts…I hope.

City were consistent until Ireland relieved himself of duty whereas we we’re more like semolina - mostly solid with some suspicious looking stringy patches. Four times Younes Richards, despite good defensive work, just lumped the ball way up, over and off the field. The crowd were not appreciative, particularly given that he isn’t exactly the people’s favourite just now.

Right. Enough. I wrote that sometime yesterday. I tell you guys, the last few days have been…they’ve been….well, they’ve been a cunt; that’s what they’ve been, a real cunt. It’s currently 2.53am and I’m doing my first shift of some filthy night work for a little extra cash at Xmas and I tell you, the absolute shit I’m having to listen to my co-workers talk is quite the most astounding display of absolute bollocks you’ve ever heard. There’s three black girls opposite me and two of them are basically bullying the other for not being black enough. Now, normally I wouldn’t let this kind of thing go without sticking my oar in and helping out a damsel in distress but frankly this girls deserves it. She was mouthy when she turned up, she’s been mouthy all night and what’s more she’s totally full of shit. You can actually listen to her life story change from minute to minute. To begin with she claimed to have been born in Nigeria and moved to England after sleeping in a hut with her family until the age of 6. Next thing you know, she’s actually from Jamaica and is cousins with Sean Paul and no it seems to have turned out that she was actually born and bred in Chiswick; oh, but her family’s all dead from a fire - presumably a result of the hut catching light from her flaming pants.

Christ, I’m actually motivated to kill. Oh God, she’s back. She’s been on a break and it’s been beautifully quiet for such a cruelly short amount of time. I’m dreaming of a frying pan. It’s my trusty white-handled, 10″, Habitat pan sitting at the Bakery. It’s a little old and the teflon’s nearly warn but by God it’s weighted like Samurai sword. A smooth swing would glide its firm, flat side so perfectly into her pudgy face. The sound would be sweet music, resonating like the chimes of Big Ben. The stunned expression of frozen shock upon her face would be a glorious sun set before she collapsed to the floor and peace covered the land again. Oh, for my pan.

But enough of this. It’s been simply days since I’ve chatted ball and there’s one or two stories to tell at the very least.

First up let’s have a little relief. He’s said it before, he’s said it again and do bear in mind that he’s only referring to the January sales but…

“It’s a pleasure and an honour to play for Tottenham and I enjoy myself here.”

“I love everyone who loves Tottenham and I see the passion of our fans.”

“It doesn’t matter if we are winning of losing, the fans are still behind us and that is what I really appreciate.

“When we go on to the pitch and we hear them applauding and cheering the team, it gives us a lift and makes us determined to do well.”

What Dimitar the Great is saying is that he’s not going anywhere. We don’t care that you’re having a bit of dip in form. We don’t care what the pundits and the papers say about you. Dimitar, we love you too.

Look, here he is showing the crew how much he loves Tottenham…

…either that or he’s just checked out post-op Malbranque in the showers.

According to the Mail, and I must confess they are one of the best sources of the truest Spurs rumours, there’s one chap who may not e with us for much longer. Without a start since Ramos has arrived, it’s not just this sub-zero winter that’s making Teemu Tainio feel left out in the cold. The 28-year-old has 18 months left on his contract but word is that he’ll be offered a free exit before the season is out.

It’s all rather sad seeing as the Laplander is a proper Yiddo. He grew up on a diet of succulent Hoddle on bed of Lineker and several portions of Klinsmann. The man played day in day out in the -20 conditions on the fringes of the Arctic Circle because he loved the game and our team that much. I’m not so blind as to see that he’s become one of the weaker members of the squad but, rather in Michael Brown/Pedro Mendes kind of way, we’re just growing out of him. Naturally, he’ll go off to Portsmouth and start to bang them in but I do understand that we need a feeling that are subs can make a difference, change a game, rather than just plug a gap. If it is true, it’s just a shame because, even if he wasn’t a boyhood Spur, he’s played his socks off for us.

The timing of such a move is of interest, however, with Didier Zee of the African Cup of Nations in a month or two. Will Teemu yet get his chance to impress or will Levy & Co just splash the cash on the Ramos guided purchase of another central midfielder?

As it goes Ramos originally had no plans at all to spend in January, saying that such moves should only be made in desperation. Players are always more expensive in the winter and after all, what does it say about an individual if a club is willing to let him go half way through the season? But needs must as the devil vomits on your season ticket book and what with BALE!BALE!BALE! now out for a good three months with damage to ligaments in his feet and therefore our defence shakier than ever, Juande has admitted that there’s some shopping to be done. He said:

“We won’t be making changes to the whole group in January, but we will be trying to bring in a certain player to strengthen a certain position.”

Gee, I wonder which position he’s referring to?

“We must wait until the end of the season to make a full analysis of the squad, but it is certain that it is the defence which is giving us the most problems right now.”

Lucky he cleared that one up. He continues, and steady as she goes when you reach the second paragraph because I swear, it almost made me come…

“My first priority is to save this season and lay the groundwork for next season. The players need to rebuild their confidence and believe in themselves again.

“But I cannot hide my dream to give Tottenham back their historical glory and to put them up there with Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United.”

I love the way he left out Chelsea too. Brilliant. Sensibly speaking though, it’s the previous paragraph that’s more significant. I’m forever banging on about confidence and the psychological state of the players and I’m thrilled to see that Juande appreciates its significance as well. We’ve all seen how much belief and the winning and losing mentality of the game can affect even the most brilliant of squads. Look no further than any newly promoted Championship side slumping in their second Premiership season when that first campaign’s high is gone or the poor promoted whipping boys who get off to a bad start and simply never recover.

With that in mind it was with great pleasure that I read the words of Didier Zee of Sunday’s win over City. He said:

“It was an important moment. When I look at the table now we’re up to 13th and we’re happier.”

“I looked at everyone the next morning and every player was happy and we’re all now confident going to Portsmouth.”

And confidence we’ll need at Fratton to take on sky high Pompey. It’s only a shame we’re not playing them in a month or two when half their squad goes off on their jolly to Ghana. By the way, am I right in saying that we only lose one player to the ACN, Ghaly aside of course? Oh, there is Benoit Who should he be fit or indeed chosen to play for Cameroon, but that’s not a bad result.

As for the transfer window and the mooted defensive purchases, there is a keeper in the frame. Personally, I have a suspicion that this is just guess work on behalf of a press that thinks the club has no faith in Robbo based on the Zagreb incident, but there’s a story linking us with Ajax keeper Maarten Stekelenburg (what’s wrong with just the one ‘a’; should we dwell longer upon the first syllable?). According to the Sun Maaaaaaaaaaarten’s team mate, and ex-Spur, Edgar Daaaaaaaavids, has been presuading the 25-year-old keeper to leave Eredivese for the bounties glories of WHL. Nice one Edgar. I must admit to feeling a little surprised. I thought the dred-lord hated our club. I guess it was just MJ with whom he fell out of love, not the fans.

Stekelenburg is the Ajax No.1 and is second only to Van der Saar for national shirt. He stands at a Scots Pine-like 6′6″ and weighs in at over 13 stone. Here’s his head…

…in the opening credits to Dallas.

How good is he? God knows with keepers until you watch them week in week out but he’s worth £5m and could at the least provide competition for Robbo. Look he saved a penalty once, but what I really like about this clip is that it is spot on how it feels to be there when your keeper does…

…beautiful.

The other story is one which I’ve cobbled together myself. Regular Sky Sports News addicts such as myself may have noticed the story that Pompey are willing to let left back, Matt Taylor, go, in between the hypnotic effect of Georgie Thompson and her beautiful, hushed, gravely tones. One day Ms. Thompson, one day.

The question I ask is WHAT!? But Taylor was some sort of must have in your fantasy set up last season. He banged in goals from car park outside the ground? He made goal of the month about 300 times? Why is he out of favour? If you’re a Portsmouth fan or know one then please clarify.

We’ve been after Taylor before and I say, snap the fucker up. Even when Bale’s fit, we can play them both on the left at the same time if. This is a no-brainer Juande. Bag that man.

Lastly, my profoundest apologies for being missing in action this week. I’m feeling rather chucked about in the great washing machine of life and right now it’s on spin cycle. I’m sure you understand.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 3:38 pm and is filed under Bagel News, Transfer News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.