Beef Bagel

…shame that.

Funny how the fates of Sevilla and Spurs seemed so linked. Suddenly I see them with much more affection than the night they robbed us with the help of the referee and the Barcelona riot police. Apparently, this time around, the only way the result could have been fairer is if they’d put another five or so past our previously unbeaten neighbours. It’d be a terrible shame for them to lose confidence in the league now as well as not finish top of their Champions League group.

The Paedo didn’t seem too happy about the encounter but couldn’t seem to fathom why he was sent to the stands for his comments to the fourth official. He said:

“I don’t know why I was sent off, I was really surprised.”

“The fourth official was really difficult for the whole game, I said to the referee ‘will you explain to me why I have been sent off?’.”

But the referee gave no reply. Apparently he just didn’t see it.

Before we get to carried away with the small delight that is the misfortune of the South London Gypsies, there is a good chance we’ll be setting ourselves up for a giant fall of our own. That’s according to Karim Zaza (good name), goalkeeper of tomorrow night’s Uefa Cup opponents, Aalborg. He said:

“Tottenham are a famous international name but we will play without fear and with the aim of causing a massive upset. A point would be a good result, but we need the victory.”

“It’s a huge game for us. We have a point in the table and will go above Spurs if we win in London.”

“Aalborg is a team to the fullest extent of the word; we have no superstars. For us it is already a success going into this round of the UEFA Cup, but we want more and we want to fight for our place in the next round.”

This lot aren’t going to be quite the whipping boys we thought they’d be when those names were pulled out of that glass fish bowl of a hat. They’re riding high in the Danish Superleague kept from topping the table only by goal difference, while it’s us who are struggling for the confidence and form that came so easily in the last two campaigns, but this is for tomorrow.

Today it’s mightily cold outside and only LB’s radiators turned up to volcano heat are enough to keep The Bagel toasty warm and fresh from the oven while I sit alone in her flat writing the daily bread and pondering which cupboards and draws I should rumage through to find the juciest of most secret hidden items; a diary, pornography, a chest full of sex toys? Of course the reality’s probably closer to moth balls, greying underwear and moldy piece of toast down the back of the wardrobe but a man can dream.

But every degree that the temperature drops means another day closer to the January sales. Today’s offering biggest offering may look like a giant tablecloth but at a mooted £25m, it’ll be the most expensive one you’ve ever seen. Here its head…

…football’s ugliest strip as sported by Luca Modric (good name).

It was thought to be a straight fight between Chelsea and arsenal for the 22-year-old playmaker but, ever since the rise of Ramos, the press have been throwing our name into the ring on the off chance while they get a flavour of Juande’s taste in footballers.

Modric started his career playing Zrinjski Mostar where he learned to add a physical element to his 5′8″ frame and some defensive skills to his game. At just 18 he was named their player of the year on first links with the Premiership commented:

“One who can play in Bosnian league, can play anywhere.”

Understandably his current employers, Dinamo Zagreb, are unwilling to let him go but are said to have offered arsenal first refusal. Tight-arses that they are though, it’s unlikely they’ll stump up the cash and despite the calls from former club mate and fellow countryman, Eduardo, it seems more likely that Avram and Abramovich will turn up and soothe everybody’s problems with money as their flunkies throw bills about like rose petals at the feet of a king. Either way it’s unlikely Modirc will be coming our way and even if he did we don’t really want to be spending phat cash on an attacker who’s able to defend. We need defenders who can first.

There’s a couple of other rumours to bring you but they’ll have to wait til tomorrow. For now, for a change, I’ll put one to rest. Troubled midfielder, Juan Roman Riquelme (another good name), has finally got his move back to Boca Juniors from his imprisonment at Villareal, despite our best efforts. He said:

“I thanked them (Spurs) for their interest, but I rejected the offer because I have a family and we’re happy in Spain. If we’re to leave this country, I would only consider returning home to Argentina.”

And so he did.

We ain’t got no needles here kid; just a big fucking bagel.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 28th, 2007 at 12:50 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.