Nothing uncommon at Newcastle
I’m starting to wonder why I’m running across Clapham Common at 9.20pm on a misty, winter night when there’s only going to be 25 minutes left of an away game at Newcastle, which I’m sure we’re going to lose. The likes of Butt, Milner and Germemi will have bullied us out of the game and one of Leviathan Head Sam’s previously unheard of world renowned headers of the ball will have set pieced the Barcodes into the lead. Not a shred of confidence will be left, nor a any ankle left unscraped. So, I ask myself again, why am I running toward this fate when I could have just gone home? And then I remember, I’m a Tottenham fan and this is what we do. It’s just that when I did this for the past two seasons, it use to be fun. We used to win games.
I chose to ignore rational thought and common sense - what ever was logical about the love of this game - and as I take in the eerie scene around me of the sodium-orange lit shadows of this open space, the vapours hanging still like spirits in the cold night, I start to remember headlines of attacks on an assortment of London parks. “A man was stabbed to death last night as he walked back from —— Common.” Which common was it? Was it Clapham, Wandsworth, Wimbledon, Putney Heath, all of the above? I’m not sure, but I’m glad I’m running all the same. I stray from the path and can’t help but think of that same mistake made by David and his friend in American Werewolf in London. Still a shower scene with Jenny Agutter would be a considerable plus side of having my chest ripped open by a lycanthrope - provided of course it was a 1980s Ms Agutter.
(wrong Agutter)
Oog answers the door to a breathless Bagel:
“Don’t tell me, we’re losing, we’re looking shit; a typical away performance but we’re still just about in it?”
“Yep,” he replies, “2-1, both goals Dawson’s fault.”
Wonderful. Now another of our stalwart squad has turned to shit. Sixty-five minutes on the clock and we’re not looking too bad in terms of possession and running but it becomes apparent all too quickly that we’ve got no confidence. Passes go astray, errors of touch; you get nowhere in this game when your basic skills desert you. A ball is miss kicked out and the Geordie fans cheer just like we used to at the Lane when our game was great and the visitors just didn’t know how to beat us.
Oog, however, is remarkably chipper but his dark, stained teeth and a largely empty bottle of red lead the answer to this mystery.
“Do want a glass,” he asks and without a moments hesitation, I know I’m going to need it.
Moments later Milner finishes us off and I’m 99% gutted as a treacherous part of modicum of me reminds The Bagel that I’ve got the no nonsense midfielder in my fantasy team. Whoopee doo, I can win my own bagels. Allardyce’s men wind it down in time honoured Bolton tradition and Oog and I have the bizarre pleasure, as many of you will have, of watching Robbo squirm on his Setanta punditry debut. The big six footer shrinks like a upset puppy as he sandwiched between the insults of Tim Sherwood, the host (?) and the ever so nice Steve McManaman (god, you really have to think when you write his name - do remember it when your stuck with a bunch of ‘m’s and ‘n’s in Scrabble). There’s absolutely nothing our first choice keeper can say as the Spurs defence is barracked time and time again with his only telling comment, “Well, I’m not going to insult my fellow squad members,” and rightly but everyone knows our position is utterly indefensible.
It’s the same bullshit as the soft, hushed tones of Kelly Dalgliesh belie her persistent and difficult post-match questions for MJ to largely ignore.
“Will you still be manager at the next game?”
“Yeah, wewl, we have to be tougher, if you look at sheventy per shent of the goalsh we conshede, they’re from shet pieshes.”
So will he? Do we want him to be? Regardless of how much we like him and exactly how we got into this position, the answer is “no”. I believe we’ve had enough now. Doubtless we’ll play well enough against Het-haff-hey on Thursday as we usually do against are more open European style of play but we’ll be back to the same old leaky bunch of arse come our home fixture with Blackburn. Too long have we gone without a win and too long have we failed to defend. Nobody’s heart is in it right now; not ours, not MJ’s, in fact it’s probably only the players that are fighting the good fight.
“So it looks like a season in the cups,” says Oog as we fail to kick start our season yet again. But how long are we going to be in those? I can handle a mid table finish; what I don’t want to go back to are the seasons where it’s all over by February.
“An American man stole my bagels.”
The Bagel.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:36 am
YOTN - the flag WAS signed. So will send it off this week!
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
Bagel
On that performance last night we’ll be lucky to get mid table. That was a relegation performance if ever I saw one. No confidence and not a fucking clue about how to defend. We are on a very slippery slope and a bad performance on Thursday and we are well and truly in the shit.
Fight the future got it spot on in the previous thread.
I don’t even think the players have got their hearts in which is completely unacceptable.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:17 pm
What Agutter
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I was going to put that its the same old Tottenham, but its not even that. We are worse! Defensively we look hopeless. Why is it that attacking players always seem first to the ball when we are defending set pieces, despite us having giants like Kaboul, and brilliant headers like Dawson and Chimbonda. I cant understand it.
In attack it ONLY looks like Robbie Keane wants to win the game, and even that is bound to fade if he no one else raises their performance.
To many questions have been raised by poor start to the season and its bound to only have one answer. The sacking of MJ. I feel sorry for the bloke but quite clearly he isnt getting the best out of the squad. Berbatov certainly isn’t the class act he was last year. Bent looks like a player with no confidence in his ability and well you have to question whether he has any… ability that is.
But still overall, our defense isn’t doing the job, heck, they aren’t even turning up!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:55 pm
oog & Bagel
Thanks for sorting out the flag for Mini Yid, just let me know when you post it so I’ll have a rough idea when to expect it
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Well, as a Hammer, I have seen it all far too often before; I sympahise with your current situation. It’s fucking horrible, every game you think to yourself, ‘Yep, this game will be the turning point of our season’ and you genuinely believe it; in fact, if you are like me, you have a good bet on it because the prices improve, waving a proverbial carrot(or bagel) at you; and you’re trying to recoup some of the previous losses. The problem is, it just doesn’t happen, it’s the same nightmare happening all over again. The frustration is unbelievable. The remedy? Unfortunately, there can only be one outcome; the manager gets the can. Surely, there is no other alternative now? We were too good to go down too….when we went down! Shame, I think MJ is a good manager but the rot has well and truely set in and the change has to be made before it’s too late. Good luck!!
October 24th, 2007 at 3:09 am
My husband, who’s the real Spurs fan in the family, said last night that that Newcastle performance was worse than even the Glen Hoddle managerial days. That’s a pretty scary thought, isn’t it? :s
October 24th, 2007 at 7:57 am
I have read all the various comments about Spur’s current & long lasting dismal position. All the comments are short sighted & just centre on getting rid of the current manager. The real problem goes much, much deeper. No longer are the players commited or loyal to Tottenham as a club - they are just doing their job & will get paid hamsomely even for dismal efforts.
Step 1. Get rid of all advertising on the Spur’s strip. The players must be commited to Spur’s colours not Mansion, Heiniken, dog food, corn flakes or any other crap. Time to regain pride in Spurs colours.
Step 2. Commence building a loyal & commited ‘local’ youth squad program that gets its players from all the nearest schools within at least London area.
Step 3. Get rid of midfielders that habitually back pass to the defenders or at best do nothing but pass sideways. They are a total block to fast movement. We need commited confident midfields who can & will take the ball forward.
Step 4. Goalkeepers must be confident & fast. Get rid of the ball & set up an attack quickly.
Step 5. Forwards should stop trying to walk or tap the ball in. Shoot at every opportunity, but it is essential for players to be following up !!
I used to watch the Super Spurs in the 60’s - what a contrast to the pathetic performances now - it’s heartbreaking. A the position of A at the top !! This must stop.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Hang on - a few weeks ago you were all defending the manager, now you can’t wait to get rid.
It’s relegation time for tottenham, which may give a chance to regroup - certainly it’ll be the end of levy and his mismanagement
October 24th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Max - I do like Step 5. When was the last time we saw an on target shot from outside the box from anyone other than Tommy H?
October 24th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Am I the only one who thinks our ‘Director of Football’ should be held to account for making us buy players we didn’t need?
Max - I’m afraid you may be harking to an era long gone, with regards to player loyalty - See Drogba’s impressive turn this week:
” I hate Chelsea, I’m off!” Last week.
“I love it here - I’m staying” This week.
See also Berbatov:
” I love it here, I will sign a new deal.”
and then: http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2197965,00.html
October 24th, 2007 at 10:50 am
WHS - Levy is a businessman, and in terms of business stuff such as revenue, profit, growth - we’re doing pretty bloody well. It’s the people who work for him who have more direct influences on the footballing front who need to take look at themselves.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:54 am
someone kill me please!!!
October 24th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Also did anyone watch the Rangers vs Barcalona game last night? I was studying Barcalona’s system of movement and it’s actually a very simple pass, move, rotate system while moving forward at te same time - kind of like a spiriling hurricane…Just a thought incase Jol decides to have a look on here
October 24th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Dude - bang.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:07 am
TobytheYid
You’re dead right mate, Comolli should be held responsible for buying players we didn’t need. However, it seems that his feet are well under the table with regard to the board, so is apparently veyond reproach
Sadly the days have long gone by for player’s loyalty to a club. Getting rid of all sponsorship would only put us on the back foot financially, these sponsorship deal are big money. Nice idea, it may have worked in the early days of shirt sponsorshop, but not a realistic option nowadays
Barbatov seems to have a face like a slapped arse, to change that attitude will not be easy. All I want to see out of Dimitar is a return to the brilliance of last season, which I’m sure all Spurs fans want the same. I don’t understand his attitude, he seemed a quiet, modest chap with a great talent last year, to turn in to something like Kevin the teenager now is a strange one
WHS, it’s not relegation time for Spurs, we’ll get out of this situation. The unfortunate thing is, that after the last two seasons, expectation was very high & to be in this position now is hard to take & disconcerting. But rest assured, we will get out of our current position, hopefully with Jol (manure didn’t give up on the serial chewing gum menace, the arse didn’t give up on the garlic bagette), but maybe without
October 24th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Wilson,
Levy is not a businessman, he’s a puppet for enic, and his agenda is not the same as the fans.
As for revenue growth, increase ticket prices, take a nice slice of the PL pie, catch the shrapnel from a uefa cup run, yep, revenue growth for a PL club is fairly easy.
Show me how levy has done a better job for you than sugar for example, and if levy is such a businessman, how much of his personal fortune is invested in the club ?
Levy, Jol and players like Bent and Berbatov will get you relegated.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
The management should never have tampered with Jol and let him geton with it - he was doing great. Now they have gone and ruined their season.