Beef Bagel

I’ve just received one of the worst bits of mail I’ve ever been sent. On some beautifully headed, lined, ivory parchment paper, the Red Debt Collection Services have sent me a polite request for £264.47 else they’ll send round the heavies with a fork lift truck to take away my possessions and no doubt some power tools for my knee caps when they found out there’s very little to take. I wonder what my body parts are worth on the open market these days? Perhaps I could donate my knees to Ledley, provided they’re not snatched in the next five days?

It turns out I owe HSBC the money from a credit card I had with them as a student after I quietly left my University town and mentally swept my student overdraft under the carpet as I went. Now, the overdraft I paid off a long time ago but this credit card I barely remember having. It doesn’t altogether surprise me though and neither does not remembering it. My housemates and I smoked A grade skunk like others breathe oxygen. I can understand why it’s taken the debt collectors so long to track me down. They probably broke into the house days after we’d all left, succumbed to the smoke and then forgot why they’d gone there at all. They’ve spent the best part of the last decade on our old sofas watching daytime TV.

As for the credit card itself, I don’t really know what I spent £264.47 on? Most likely though it’s an original debt of £5.64 subjected to many months of late payment charges and years of compound interest. It’s amazing how expensive a trip to the local 24 hour shop can be. All that for a Ginsters Pepper Steak Slice, a few cans of fizzy cold and bunch of fun size Mars Bars.

All this talk of money leads my nicely back to a man I wanted to mention yesterday, who is currently renegotiating his contract with Levy & Co and yes, Pascal Chimbondabonda is going to be playing hard ball. The talks are going well according to the Bonders’s decidedly shadey agent, Willie McKay; from whose point of view, is the question I have. We need Pascal more than he needs us and all parties know that. We’ve got Stalteri, Lee and Phil Ifil in reserve and none of them are anything like as good as our six foot Frenchman, who can double very comfortably as a centre half if called upon. Bonders himself has admitted to L’Equipe, source of all French confessions, that the Chelsea were in for him over the summer and that worse still, he regrets not going. He said:

“Both clubs discussed without finding an agreement.”

“It would have been a massive opportunity, but life goes on.”

Life goes on? What a tosser but unfortunately, a tosser we need. Are these sorts of things said to get the most out of his new deal? Does he not think that anyone in this country can understand what he’s said if he does it in French or does he just not care? Personally, I’m opting for the last one.

Thankfully, Pascal is the only one of our rapidly growing French speaking contingent to be living up to the spineless stereotype of the cheese-eating surrender monkey. Younes Kaboul has happier thoughts in his U21 head. He said:

“I am very happy with my choice to have joined Tottenham,”

“I can progress at this club. Tottenham are a very good and very great club. But you don’t have the right to make mistakes. So I give my best at training and for the moment it works.”

At last, a little appreciation, although Younes has been rather fortunate in our misfortune. For every Kaboul at Spurs there’s a long list of Defoes, Bents, Tarrabts and Boatengs, who aren’t getting the chances. As for Long Lost Wayne Routledge, while Kaboul’s doing this…

…Wayne’s doing this…

…yep, those are the moments you treasure at the end of your career.

One star of the future who seems very content to be working his way through the ranks is Tomas Pekhart. We’ve been the proud owner of the Czech U21 hitman for quite a while now and every time he plays he seems to score, be it for our young ‘uns or for his country. Four goals in as many starts, he’s bagged on the international scene. I’ve never seen him play but he’s got be good. Better still is his attitude and ethic. Just read this:

“I don’t want to rush it (a first team appearance) at any cost, I want to be prepared for that as much as possible. I know that I may get only a single chance to play for the first team.

“And if I don’t perform well, then I might not be given another. It is true though that to play for Tottenham’s first team is my big dream. I must work hard and be patient.

“I feel that I have improved at Tottenham, even though a lot of people were saying I would bury myself there last year. I mainly feel that I am more self-confident.

“It is true that competition at Tottenham is huge. But for me it is great that I can learn a lot from such champions. After training I often stay with them and we practice shooting, or I can visit our specialist coaches with whom we can practise one-on-ones or technique.”

I love him all ready.

Away from Spurs, I was bombarded yesterday with the same link to a YouTube clip, which it seems only right and proper to share with those of you have not had the same fortune. It’s a goal from a 45 yard free kick in a recent international between Ecuador and Venezuala. Not quite as impressive as Robbo’s distance but an infinitely more cultured strike…

The scary part is that Ecuador actually used a wall. So, they were expecting that kind of shot? Does Jose Manuel Rey do this all the time?

“One hundred thousand space bagels, by tomorrow?”

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 16th, 2007 at 10:43 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.