Beef Bagel

Er…so, Pascal Chimbonda’s been arrested. Yeah, interesting that. I must say I was a little panicked when I first read the headlines myself and my mind flitted from fiction to fantasy as I imagined our full back as:

a) a get-away driver, complete with stocking over his head, in a daring attempt at the theft of the artist formerly known as ‘Prince’ from the Millennium Dome,

b) capo of an organised crime football family that goes around getting protection money of the more injury prone wingers in exchange for non-career threatening challenges - Damien Duff and Arjen Robben always though they were safe with their own Russian mafia protection. Apparently their policies did not cover fire, theft or acts of Bonders,

c) a closet flasher with an irrepressible urge to expose himself to children, caught with another well known Frenchman from the football world but infinitely more identifiable by his dreadlocked pubic hair. You know what, I didn’t really want to picture that. I doubt you did either. In fact, let’s get back to the picture that counts here and that’s the one of Pascal in interrogation room 3 with Inspectors Pc and Plod in Severn Sisters constabulary in the small hours of Monday night.

Now, the crime is clear enough and that’s the one concerning his transfer from French club, Bastia, to Wigan in 1995 and has nothing, I repeat nothing to do with us. The discrepancy in reports though is over whether it’s Bonders himself who has been charged or is merely being questioned as a witness. Given the record of the police in Tottenham, they’ll take one look at our right back and fit him up for whatever gaps they need filling on their incident boards in their version of pin the crime on the donkey.

Some papers are reporting that Pascal is facing conspiracy to fraud and has been bailed for until October. Likely the truth lies somewhere between the two along with his actual guilt in the crime but according to his agent, Willie McKay:

“I had a call from Pascal this morning and he told me he had answered some police questions, but it’s nothing. They’re scraping the barrel,”

but then he probably said that while on the phone to the press while swallowing an assortment of safety deposit box keys and quickly shredding all evidence in his office including Janice, his secretary. Too early to say exactly what’s going on here but don’t be surprised if Bonders is walking with a limp on Saturday. It’ll be nothing to do with flushed look in Wenger’s face. No, that’s more to do with his oh so young side, which were the main reason for him staying on at arsenal.

Better news for today is that we have no fresh injury concerns with all of our players coming through another round of internationals and some very nicely indeed - I point towards Dimitar the Great and his brace of goals and The Hudd, Big Bad Tom, with his goal in the U21s in Sofia the other night.

It’s not big. It’s bigger than big. It’s huge. It’s like another Xmas. It’s the God damn derby and it’s God damn nearly here. I’m not going to talk about the form book going out of the window. It’s too big for that. There is no form book. There is no window. There isn’t even a classroom. There’s just Tottenham and arsenal on a pitch kicking chunks out of each other while 36,000 fans call for blood and a few goals as well. Line ups are irrelevant. All I say is keep Little Aaron on the bench. This is not a first run out back from injury. I don’t care how good he is.

There is no bagel.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 1:41 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.