Beef Bagel

Just when you though it was safe to step back to the window…

…with just four days left of the summer sales to go there’s rumours, agents, and players flying about and with them soon, no doubt, some actually written contracts. The early summer big spending has put the frighteners on most managers and rightly too. We all knew that the likes of Chelsea were happy to pay figures of £10m plus at the bad of an eye-lid but who would have thought it would’ve become standard fare across the Premiership?

The quietest man in the league, Martin O’Neil, has held the most steady so far and it’s only now that that sensible head of his is realising that these prices are here to stay, at least right now. Imagine a time in a few years when player prices crash dramatically. Could we see a new Great Depression based on the bottom falling out of the football market? Would generations of school children to come be forced to suffer new literary “classics” such as ‘Of mice and XI men’ or ‘The Grapes of Rotherham Utd Football Club’?

Wherever it may lead this spiraling dervish of money machine spins on and as the clock ticks ever closer to time at the bar please gentlemen, the managers sit around nursing the last inch of the watery pints wondering who’ll be buying the last round.

We all know that Curtis Davies is going somewhere. He knows it, Tony Mowbray knows it, Villa know it and we know it. So who’ll crack first, how much will they pay and will any club have the nerve and hold it all the way until they get their man for their money? The Baggies want £12m but the Villians and ourselves say £8m. My suspicions are that he’ll stay in the Birmingham area for £10m. He’s a good player and he’d be useful but who buys a fourth choice player for over £8m?

The other hand of Villa’s pinching mitts is creeping its way into our very own pockets as we look towards the West Midlands and the same time the other Martin is lining up a bid for the Little Yiddo. £11m is the sum if reports are to believed. Now, no one particularly wants Jermain to go put he’s refused to sign a contract as yet and who could blame him, seeing as the poor kid never gets to play. It’s fantastic to boast him as fourth choice but one couldn’t blame him for getting itchy feet and £11m isn’t a bad price. The only question then would be what to do when two of our remaining three front men are out at any one time? Andy Barcham? Steeeed? Tomas Pekhart? Really?

The other stand off of interest is over please, oh please, Morten Gamst Pedersen. I’d pay £10m for that. The problem is so would Liverpool and according to the News of the World, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Should it not, fear not Morten, Bayern Munich will be there to catch you. With these two clubs in the frame it does rather put one “in turmoil” somewhere toward the bottom of the pile. We’ll need more than just fingers crossed for this one; toes too please and watch those black cats (not Sunderland).

Transfers aside, the healing process continues at WHL with further explanations and apologies coming our of the woodwork and this time it’s the turn of Vice-Chairman, Paul Kemsley and look he’s added a little MJ-esque humour:

The truth is we never offered Martin’s job to Juande Ramos no matter what anybody thinks.

“I went to Seville for two reasons. Firstly to talk with Sevilla about the way they run their club and to discuss their model for success because that’s what I want for Tottenham - success

I must admit the second reason I was there was as a contingency against Martin leaving.

I’d liken it to being married to a beautiful woman - it’s wonderful to have a beautiful wife but it can make you insecure and worried that you might lose her.”

It comes off rather like an a crowd pleaser from Joseph “Joe” Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald Fitzhenry Quimby a.k.a. the Simpsons own mayor, ”Diamond Joe” Quimby as he wonders why no-one finds it as funny when he does it.

Well, at least if comedy can’t manage it, time appears to be doing he trick and a few good results should put the troubles to bed quite nicely. Win the one against the arse and they’ll be milk, cookies and a bed time story too.

“Why don’t you go fuck your bagel?”

“Maybe I will, doggy-style.”

The Bagel.

 

 

 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 at 11:12 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.