Feeling Blue
And there was I thinking that my bump back to earth would be cushioned by the news of signing or two as I arrived back home with a weighty backpack and heavier head. So, Prince Kevin has bad knees - not a good thing for a midfield dynamo if he can’t even move his legs. You want a player in that position to be the rock throughout the season not sit on the sidelines in the back row listening to R&B on his phone loud enough for everyone in the dugout to hear eying up Jermain Defoe’s jewellery or whatever it is that the self-styled ‘Ghetto Kid’ does with his spare time.
Still though, The Bagel is intrigued with his purchase. We need a full report on these knees. Exactly what kind of knees are we talking about? Are they terrible, bad, deteriorating knees or just troublesome? Are they why Hertha Berlin are happy to let go of the Bundesleiga’s 2006 young player of the year? Can we just graft Danny Murphy’s knees onto his?
The other option in this role, with no reported knee issues and no issues whatsoever apart from the obvious one in his head that led him to sign for Chelsea, is youngish Frenchman, Lassana Diarra. Now, I must confess, I had to look this kid up. I recognise the name and a not to too good show at right back when we so nearly took them down at Stamford Bridge last season. I get a little lost with all those French and French speaking youngsters that belong to arsenal and Chelsea’s fringe squads and all seem to have names that begin with ‘D’. This one, though, sounds like a good option and has made himself available by turning down a new contract at Chelsea - not so messed up after all.
Whether or not he’s realised there’s only one team in London or whether he just wants to go back to France is another question. He left his motherland as a bright young thing at second division Le Havre and could probably land a Marseilles or Lyon on his return should he wish. So, as Lloyd Grossman always says between blending a ‘nice tomato and basil sauce’, let’s examine the evidence…
Twenty-two years of age and most definitely in the Makelele mold at just 5′8″ but carrying nearly 11 stone for a nice, low centre of gravity. Here’s his head…
…making a hash of the can-can.
Of late, the lad’s been doing rather nicely for the French national team, playing alongside role model Claude, and one can only hope that he’s decided he’s learnt all that he can and it’s time to work his defensive magic where it’s really needed. Well, it’s either that or he’s stamping his foot for first team football and Ballack money. Why don’t we find out from the man himself, providing he can speak English that is…
…once you get over the dirty Chelseaness of it, it’s really a very nice clip. It beats the hell out of ‘it’s a team game and the boys done good.’
The other bit of interest from Chelsea that’s heating up today are the reports of the release of the Birdman of Stamford Bridge. Levy & Co have refused to comment but according to both the Mirror the Mail, we’re looking to wrap up the transfer of Shaun Phillips by the end of the week for a cool £12m which will make him the second most expensive player in our history. Such is inflation.
Just as in the case of Darren Bent, it’s a hell of a lot for a cover player, bought as back up or rotational switch for fellow speed dwarf, Little Aaron Lennon. Can’t we just offer Chelsea £20m for Robben instead? Can one gazump Real Madrid?
I should imagine that Little Shaun, Little Aaron and come to think of it Little Steeeeeeeeed (a Shetland Pony, if you will) will switch around on the flanks and support the sole left sider Martin Petrov, who yet again seems to be on our Tottenham cards.
It’s a good sign that Athletico don’t want to let go of the 28-year-old but the problem, of course, is that he is just that, a 28-year-old and the asked £8m is far too much for a player with only a couple of his best years left in him, and let’s remember, he is a winger and their best asset is the first that age consumes. Still, anything but start the season left wingerless yet again.
If Petrov is to be short-lived, a wide midfielder for the future could be a young man from Leeds called, Danny Rose. With only 17 years if age, no appearances for the senior side and a squad number of 42, there’s not much I can bring you about the lad apart from the fact that he was one of the kids involved in the Chelsea tapping up enquiries of while back.
What I can tell you is that he’s been playing for the England U17s and been scoring goals for them as well. Chelsea and Newcastle have been after his signature since he resigned from the Leeds scholarship scheme - Oh that’s weird. I’ve just remembered I had a dream last night when I met Gus Poyet. He gave The Bagel a big hug and said he missed me and then kept trying to introduce me to Dennis Wise, who I tried to explain to him was a little shit. No idea what that means.
Anyway, according to the Mail, we’ve “beaten off Chelsea and Newcastle for his signature” which must have taken quite some work and shows real commitment. The down side looks to be a rather unsavoury deluge landing somewhere in the East Midlands, leaving the poor people of Lincoln wondering who’s going to pay for the dry cleaning.
Still plenty to catch up with as the Bakery stoves come back to life and the crust about The Bagel’s eyes and armpits begins to crumble. The ones I’ll leave you to ponder today as after a Spurs XI nailed Dartford 7-2 are Jamie O’Hara and Adel Taarabt. Both scored last night and both we’re involved in almost all the others. Big players for the first team this season?
I could have been a contender, I could have been a bagel, instead of a bun, which is what I am.
The Bagel.
July 17th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I have a feeling that Taraabt is going to be involved in quite a bit of first team action this year and I think he will have a decent season… I’m already considering him as a cheap option in my TFF team midfield…