The Day before the Day
The Bagel’s being trying to write these transfer tales, as tall as they are, for simply days. I’ve been itching to have may fun and my say and in that order but business at The Bakery has been high. There’s loaves in the oven, there’s flour on the floor, doe all over the place and by God it’s hot. But all the stress and strain simply flows out my fingers as I finally sit down to do what I do best. So, without any further ado…
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…Kostas Katsouranis, trying saying that when you’re pissed. Here’s his head…
…trying to spell his name backwards or forwards for that matter.
Yes, this tough kid for the streets of Patras has been sliding them in since he was two and I’m not talking about goals. Check this…
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…I like him already. Can’t quite work out how I feel about that tackle though. It looks fine until you see the last angle.
KK currently plies all 6 feet and 12 st 11 lbs of his trade over at Benfica (which must be pronounced in a Scouse accent for full enjoyment), where he signed a contract for four years last June. The 27-year-old spent the previous part of his career playing two of Greece’s apparently three clubs, AEK Athens and Panathinaikos. I’m sure Olympiakos will be where he spends his twilight years.
You may remember the man from the Euro 2004 winning side, who toppled the smug Portuguese and you may also remember are good relations with Benfica that Comolli has brought with him. The fact that KK is a multipurpose player, at either defensive mid or centre half, gives more clues to the Sporting Director tinge this rumour seems to have and good as he may be, I can’t help thinking of Gary Doherty when people talk of utility players.
But fear not. Take a look at these and put your mind at rest that this is no Ginger Pele…
He appears to be getting some use over in Portugal with 22 appearances and 5 goals (an impressive record for a defensive player) but someone must be putting the feelers out because Athletico Madrid and Villareal have been making enquiries of their own. Is the player himself looking to move to bigger and better things or more to the point, bigger and better leagues?
The Bagel’s verdict: Sounds like a name we’ll never hear of again but it’d be good to stock up on one more of the players, be it Reo-Cocaine or whoever, and if he can cover at the back, then so much the better.
Now, who’s next? Ah yes…
Jurica Vranjes (named after displacing water in a bath?) is another multipurpose player at either defensive midfield or centre half. Are you getting the pattern here? He too is 27, a slightly taller 6′1″ but a stone lighter than his Greek counterpart. Here’s his head…
…and his drinking problem.
This chaps a Croat but he’s spent his years in nearby Germany, where he moved from Leverkusen to Stuttgart and eventually Werder Bremen.
Not a big scorer of goals, 12 in his whole career over 196 games, which isn’t much better than Robbo. He doesn’t seem to have lit the world alight gaining such praise as “he’s still got time to develop” and wouldn’t be top of my list on spec but then never judge a player until he’s run a mile in Tottenham boots.
…looking very stoned.
He’s 6 feet tall and 11 stone, although his weight may fluctuate depending upon how much of mama’s tiramisu he’s stuffed into his face to satisfy those Chinese eyes. He was a foal in the Juve stables in those rosier top flight days and well thought of by Capello but not quite thought of well enough to actually ever get a game.
Who knows how good he is but it would be great to have an Italian in our side for that sense of style and some of that more “professional” play. I look forward to seeing him on Youtube next season.
On the more attacking and more familiar side of things we’ve been linked with a couple of Premiership players too. Now, I don’t care how good he is or isn’t but The Bagel does not want to see Nicolas Anelka play at Tottenham Hotspur for two major reasons. Firstly, there’s the arse connection. It just makes me feel uncomfortable as most arse connections do.
The other reason is that he is a self-serving, money-grabbing, morale lowering little toe rag and I don’t trust any of these people who have a family member as their agent. They’re just money-creaming club hoppers and I want none of it.
The next is a player I must confess I’ve seen precious little of, the fantastically named, Charles N’Zogbia. He either sounds like he should be some sort of doctor of tropical medicine or a mid-90s double act.
As we all know Dr.Charles N’Zogbia has had a bit of a quiet one up at Newcastle, where he’s known as Zoggy, The Zog, Super Zog ot The Bagel’s personal favourite, Zog on the Tyne.
He joined the Toon back in 2004 and although he had made a good go of it last season, his progress has been hampered a little by the arrival of Damian “I’m just going there for the football” Duff.
He’s still only 20 years old but most importantly he’s a lefty. Would he come to us? Well, he knows JJ and there is the old French connection with Comolli but would we want him? He’s got plenty of promise but we can’t guarantee him a start instead of an out of position right footer in the form of Malbranque or anyone else MJ chooses to plug the gap.
Let’s see if there’s anything interesting he can do…
I’ve only watched two minutes of that but I’ve seen enough. He’s not going to make the dream list but he’s got that left foot delivery thing going on and that’s enough. Really make me realise what a dimension we’re missing in our attack.
But enough of these trivialities. There’s a derby afoot tomorrow and it’s not that I thirst for blood but I want some fun. I want some action and yes Toby the Yid, yes, Hornchurch Yid, I want passion.
I want to be screaming and jumping around as we celebrate impossible goals to take us into the lead and get our first win over the arse in simply far, far too long. I want to wake up five minutes after each time we find the net a good two blocks away from my own and I want to batter those bruises that are never going to heel, on the backs of all the chairs as I flail about in wild, insane joy.
Now, there’s no Keano tomorrow but there’s a certain goal, by a certain Little Yiddo, in a certain 4-5 epic that’ll never forget. And if there’s one thing I know about Jermain Defoe, it’s that when there’s no pressure on him from a Keano on the bench, he always scores a goal.
Come on you God damn, mother fucking Spurs!
The Bagel.Â
April 20th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
The thing with these videos is that i can never tell if i’m meant to be looking at the guy who provided the assist or the one who tapped it in…
———–
Good news, lads. We’re gunna win 5-2.
1-0 down @ ht, 2-0 down shortly afterwards, King, Lennon, Zokora, JD & Berba.
5-2! We’re Gunna win 5-2!
April 21st, 2007 at 11:22 am
I had a dream Thursday night that we won 8-3!!, but it did involve Keano getting a brace and as he’s not playing I think I can write that prediction off.. might stick a couple of quid on it for a laugh on the way down the pub tho… :-))
COYS!!!!!!!
April 21st, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Thank f*ck for JJ!! Again we concede goals from set pieces and Martin Jol nearly throws away a promising position YET AGAIN with his frankly baffling ‘defensive’ tactics when we have a 1 goal lead. This approach hasn’t worked for us yet, so why persevere with it?!? Arsenal played well enough, but the tactics we employed in the 2nd half encouraged them forward when I think we could have kept them on the back foot had we just repeated our 1st half performance.
The repeated questioning of MJ’s tactical nous seems to be all to valid after performances like today’s. I still believe he can take us to where we need to be (challenging the top four), but he needs to become a lot more astute before we have a chance of competing on a consistent basis. Perhaps some of this is due to him not having the players he wants, but surely good defensive coaching could eliminate some of the problems we’ve seen all to often this season? I still think on paper we have a decent, if not great with King fit, defensive unit (bar a left-footed full back). Any thoughts on this bagel?
Having said all this, today again highlighted our ability to fight back from being behind, so I’m equally prepared to accept all the good qualities MJ has instilled since he took over, just wish he could find the balance…
OK, rant over. I’m going for some more beer to calm the nerves and perhaps I’ll look at this more objectively later.
PS To correct my earlier comment, I’d heard Keane wasn’t playing, but there he was on the teamsheet after I posted!
April 22nd, 2007 at 9:59 am
Dear Bagel,
I see that you have not arrived from your bed to report on that
pathetic effort against THE GUNNERS, hopefully you will rise within the next couple of days and report. How many times have you failed to beat us,it was so long ago that George G had hair.It must depress you when all you can hope for is a place in the Into-Toto cup,no Europe for you this year.
Best regards to you and all at the Bakery.
The Gunner
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:00 am
I chatted long and hard with Oog in the sunshine after the game outside the Victoria under the pleasant watch of around fifty riot police on some very similar subjects, PP.
There is an uncertainty amongst our fans about whether MJ has the brains to take us further. The reason being is probably because we’re not sure ourselves as to what we need to get to the next level.
I don’t think anyone will complain about how we played in the first half. One could gripe that our containing tactics were a little on the scary side, if indeed that was the plan when we seemed to invite all but Jens Lehmann to play in our half. However dangerous a game this may be against one of the finest attacking forces in football, it worked.
The second half was, of course, a different story and I don’t believe that it was MJ’s plan to sit back on just the one goal. In fact, whatever his tactics, they were never going to be realised or identified because no one could string a pass together. We had one shot all half and we couldn’t even get a cross in throughout the last ten minutes.
My doubts about MJ lie in the timing and choice of his substitutions. The Paedo brings on a player or two and suddenly arsenal start to play a very different way and the tactics we began with are not going to work anymore.
They then continue not to work for a little too long before a change is made. But then as I said we just couldn’t tell if the new tactics were working because everyone played like shit with only a moment of divine inspiration to save us as the almighty touched JJ on the shoulder. Clearly, God is a Yiddo.
So Oog and I decide to give the big guy (MJ not God, although they may be one and the same) a chance and we turn to personel, the question being what do we need to take us on and where are we going wrong.
Oog is a firm believer in a need of a better central midfield partnership, primarily a defensive midfielder; someone to protect our back four and stop us conceding.
My feelings focused on the need of some true left-footed delivery; a man to worry the opposition on both flanks, rather than focusing their efforts on staunching Little Aaron. Some balance is what we need; a better shape with to give us a genuine third option in attack. My belief here is that attack is the best form of defence. Put pressure on the other team and make them spend their time worrying about stopping us.
Whatever our approaches, our conclusions were that MJ still has our trust and our time. Let’s see who he comes up with in the summer and what he can do with them.
The Bagel.
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:25 am
Good god Bagel! Below is just a selection of headlines:
Manchester United and Chelsea will battle this summer to sign Tottenham’s Dimitar Berbatov, with bids likely to break the £20m mark. (Sunday Mirror)
Louis Saha will be offered as bait, says the News of the World, with Berbatov looking “certain” to switch to Old Trafford.
Spurs could also lose Didier Zokora and Pascal Chimbonda with Sevilla plotting to sign the pair. (News of the World)
I would like to make it clear that should ANY of the reported rumors become true, I shall CRY.
JJ certainly came up trumps, and the feeling of ’stealing’ a point off Arse is lovely…But JJ had, alongside others, some shocking moments in the second half…That said, you could almost feel how much that point mean’t to him.
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:56 pm
As always bagel, you make some good points. Now i’ve been able to look back on the game with hindsight I agree that the performance of the players in the 2nd half precluded any kind of tactical gameplan, but the introduction of Fabregas and the switch of play by the Arse towards the end of the half really seemed to throw us, and you have to wonder what was said at half-time when it was apparent (to me at least) that this was the way they were going to apprach the rest of the game? Did nerves get to our players or are we starting to see the effect of playing so many games this season?
Whatever the cause I agree that MJ should be given time and think some genuine left-footers are a must for next season (although some steel in the defensive midfield role would also be welcome!). Hopefully we can get some new arrivals in early enough so that MJ can bed them in over the summer and have them raring to go for the new season.
Here’s to the final push over the next few games, and a brand new european adventure next year!!
April 22nd, 2007 at 4:50 pm
We need some some proper leadership on the field. King is too quiet, Keane’s fiery Irish temper means that he always looks like getting himself sent of, and there is only so much Robbo can do as goalie. If had a Gerrard figure or Perryman, Blanchflower etc etc. Then maybe, the players would be able to attack when winning - I dont believe for one minute that MJ has told them time and again to sit back on leads, i think that it is just to do with mentality, which would be countered if there was a real strong leader out there.
/rant
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Funny you should say that DS, that was another feature of Oog’s defensive midfielder.
The first name mentioned was obviously Roy Keane. Then we stated to talk about Keano and Dawson and John Terry and realised a good leader is all about having a player that the rest of the team is scared of. Perhaps a trawl of HM’s Prison’s may come up trumps with just the fellow.
And Gunner,
Shame on you, coming here to try to get kicks. We don’t need any. JJ already gave it one. Still sore?
The Bagel.
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:17 pm
The problem is that when you try and come up with names, all the players you would want are either never going to come to us, or retired, or whatever. The silver lining to that is that if you had asked me 2 or 3 years ago who we needed to partner Ledley, I wouldn’t have come up with Dawse, and we also managed to pick up Berbatov and Lennon. So there are players out there who can come in and who will improve us. Obviously its vital we hang on to what we’ve got as well!
Its up to MJ (or whoever) to pick the right player, but I definitely think its the midfield that needs sorting out the most. We all agree that we think at least 3 of our 4 first choice defenders are quality (And Lee is ok…) - but even with them all in the team I still think we will leak goals. They don’t get the protection they need. In fact, much though I like him, Zokora loses possession far far far too often. The most important thing this summer, I think, is that we get 2 or 3 players in who come and improve the first team and I think central midfield is the place we need to start with. I’d like a Roy Keane, of course, but I guess all I’m saying is we still haven’t properly replaced Carrick, someone who keeps possession, who calms things down and who by not giving away possession cheaply probably saves us a goal or two every month in the premiership.
People say Robbo is too easily beaten from long shots - and we have let more in than any other team in the premiership this season. That’s probably true, but I think it also shows that we don’t get enough blocks in, concede possession too easily, and aren’t protecting him enough.
I agree that we could do with a left sided midfielder. On the other hand, our problem is not scoring goals! Whilst another lennon would be very handy, we’ve gone backwards in the premiership this year because of our inability to keep clean sheets, not because we aren’t enough of an attacking force.
I know we all also want extra defensive cover and a new 4th choice striker, but I would much rather blow all our budget on 2 players who can improve our strongest XI. Because our strongest team isn’t good enough at the moment, and having a slightly better version of Anthony Gardner or Mido is not going to solve our problems.
Lastly - its still better than having Jamie Redknapp / Johnnie Jackson / David Kerslake / Clive Wilson or whoever in your first XI! Its always worth remembering we’re only frustrated by not progressing more because we have actually progressed so far this last couple of years…
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Oh, and also - quote from Wenger
“I spoke to the linesman who told me Jens put his elbow in the face of their player and, if he has done that, he shouldn’t have.”
In true wenger style, I didn’t really get a good view of the incident.
But if he has done that, not only shouldn’t he have - but isn’t that a red card?
Not that it matters now.
April 23rd, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Hi Oog
I watched the match from my local, with my son mini-yid-of-the-norf, (the barmaid’s an arse fan & she looks just as sour faced as the peado!) Anyway, back to the point, you could clearly see Lehman put the elbow in to my eldest son’s head, so you could imagine my outrage! I agree, the dirty, cheating bratwurst jockey should’ve been red carded, furthermore, what on earth was Berbatov yellow carded for?
I’m taking mini-yid to smog town this coming Saturday & we’ll be at The Lane for the last game of the season along with big bruv, Yid of the West
COYS!
May 5th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
how come a arse-bandit is on this site??????????????????????