Beef Bagel

This has been the slowest week of my life, the world’s longest half time. It’s all been quiet with the Champions League warm up act but now the main event is finally upon us. So we’ve got no full backs and it seems it’s a choice between getting Chimbondabonda to play on both sides simultaneously or put our faith in the never quiet made the grade Phil Ifil. Want me to make you feel better? Take a look at this…

Look. He’s training. I know which side my bagel’s buttered but I feel confused. There’s definitely some sort of stirring goes on when I look at this photo. So, we’re happy with the middle two and we know we’ve got at least one good full back. I can live with that. Ledley basically counts as two players anyway. There are two other options apart from Phil Ifil

1) Some random kid that we’ve got in the more junior ranks who’s pretty much the Pele of full backs that we’ve just been waiting to unveil. No? Well, there’s always crazy number 2…

2) Three at the back. Don’t ask me how it works and I think it’s probably a terrible idea given that it’s not really the kind of rash decision you want to make the day of a UEFA Cup quarter final but it’s so crazy it just might work. What would you go with, 3-4-3 or 3-5-2? Both scare the lucky pants off me but if I had to choose….three up front.

But it’s not just us a few squad related head scratchers. Coach Juande Ramos is without injured striker, Javier Chevanton and goalkeeper Palop, whose name reminds me of the first sound I hear each day as I sit astride the porcelain.

We’re a goal behind in what Ramos has described as a fitting UEFA Cup final match up but we’ve got that home advantage and a serious thirst for justice. We will not stop out singing till we have put the Spaniards under. This isn’t just a fan thing. The players feel it too:

“What happened in the stands was a terrible shame. It was a shock, it upset the players,” said Didier Zee and for MJ it’s closer to outrage:

“Can you remember English fans going to a foreign country, having no clashes with fans and then still getting bashed? That is what we have to expect now if you are English. That is why we have to stand up for ourselves.

The Tottenham fans are fantastic ambassadors and the team is determined to get the result for us all.”

Now, enough before I burst with pride. Be still my beating Hart.

One man who I’m sure we’ll make the bench and who we’re beginning to see more and more is Adel Taarabt. Remember how the kid and his agent mouthed off about his loan deal to us well before any of the proper channels had breathed a word? Well, he’s been at it again:

“I am not on loan, I have signed for five years but the contract will be official when I am 18 years of age.” Excellent. Between this kid and Berbatov’s agent, we’ll have this whole dirty British rumour mill completely cleaned up.

Incidentally, I hear Danny Murphy’s fit again, which should raise his price tag a little when we sell him in a few weeks time and in case you’re worried that MJ’s just too sentimental about the player with the lovliest of wives, may have his replacement lined up in the form of the much anticipated Giles Barnes. There’s reports, in one of the shitty papers admittedly, that we’ll be taking the young attack minded midfielder off the Midlander’s books whether they gain promotion or not. There’s been a lot of umming and ahhhing as to if Barnes is good enough or not, even from his current manager but for a mere £3m Premierbucks The Bagel’s sure he’s worth a punt. There’s been just too much smoke to this one for there to be no fire.

Of course the one promotion pushing player that we’ve all got our fingers crossed for is Curtis Davies, particularly now that one of our other centre half targets is officially off the market. Christopher Metzelder of Borissia Dortmund has opted to sign a 4 year deal with Real Madrid and who can blame him? The problem is that Red Faced Fergie is rather counting on this chap too, making too many circling sharks around the paddling Curtis Davies. Who or what will be left by the time we get a bite?

So having read that, would you think it strange if I were to suggest that we’re going to let Baby Face Gardner go this summer? Actually, I don’t think it’s going to happen and I don’t think I’d like it too either but there’s two rumours that have sprung up at the same time that go together rather nicely. One is that feeling priced out of the Davies wars, eye sacks Harry Redknapp is after our Tony an the other is that we’re after Matt Taylor. Could there be a swap on?

Now, if you asked either player I’m sure they both want to stay just where they are but a kid with a solid left foot like Taylor’s would be just what the doctor ordered particularly right now during our great full back famine. There’s no way Harry would let him go and I’d sooner see Rocha off to Pompey but I can certainly see some tug of war going on here for a good few months even if to no avail.

Now enough of this transfer frivolity. There’s a game afoot. It’s been all eyes to Chelsea, Man U and Liverpool this week but tonight my friends, all eyes will be on the Lane and I’m looking forward to riding the tube with a happy face tomorrow morning, with row upon row of those happy back page headlines.

A bagel’s got to do what a bagel’s got to do.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 12th, 2007 at 12:50 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.