Just a quickie - you’ll barely feel it
It’s all gone eerily quiet as Steve McClaren waits for his last meal. The press, myself included, stand ready to did our sharpened quills in the poor saps blood. Old Beetroot Head is going to have to pull something very special out of the bag in just over 2 hours now to save his job; around 7 goals should do it, preferably all for England
As usual, The Bagel will be supporting Messrs Lennon, Defoe & Robinson and enjoying the fact that no arsenal players will be involved but more on this all a little later when we’ve seen what we shall see.
I can only bring a couple of bits n’ bobs just now as these damn public computers can restrict a bagel’s art. Things to know are these:
Seville is getting edgy. The authorities are clasping their hands and clutching their rosaries in hope that the 4,000 strong Yid Army will not disrupt their religious celebrations. Local councillor Juan Jose Lopez Garzon said:
 “We have asked for courtesy from the Sevillians (brilliant) and that they stay tolerant.â€
 Tolerant? Tolerant while skinheaded Londoners tear up their floats on a rampage, pissed up on booze; while they’re glassed by a gang of thugs; while we scream:
‘Your religions fucking shit! Your religion’s fucking shit!’
No, it won’t be that bad. The Bagel’s only joshing. I’m pulling your beef. It’ll be good natured but loud and boozy. Wherever their biggest mock English pub exists, yes, wherever there is justice (cue music), you’ll find a Tottenham fan. Wherever there is a real, genuine, British, foreign lager served in a pint of Pilkington glass, we’ll be there. For it is our rights as English football fans to carry with us the bad rep of the 80s and strike fear and contempt into the hearts our hosts, for it is us whose drunken slurs shall be translated into Spanish as ‘I’m going to eat your children and rape your hamster.’ We have earned that right! Yes, we are hooligans. Where did they get this figure of 4,000 from anyway, when there’s only an allocation of 2,100 seats? Do they really expect double the numbers to turn up and try their best Spanish for ‘gis a ticket, amigo’, whilst getting sold entry to the local bull fight? The Spurs will behave. No Chelsea scum or Hammers to bother the firm out there; sunshine, San Miguel and senoritas only.
The only other piece of sensationalism of the day is the news that we could be without our ‘key trio’ for some of next season. Yes, that’s right. It’s African Cup of Nations next year; a beautiful time when managers’ blood pressure goes up, Fergusson’s face gets redder and Allardyce’s head inflates by another 10 pounds per square inch.
Our headaches? Dider Zee, well yes; Hossam Ghaly, not key and Hossam Mido, someone else’s key by then and God help them whoever they are.
Enjoy the internationals and fingers crossed for a Yiddo-only scoresheet.
African Cup of Bagels,
The Bagel.
March 28th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Hi Bagel
Just a quick note, Sevilla have today agreed to a further 2000 tickets to be allocated to us, hence the quote of 4000 (4100 to be precise!)
The African Cup of Nations is a pain in the arse! (absolutely no disrespect intended for any nationals or followers of the competition) just frustration as we lose certain personnel. Though I still laugh about when Mido fell out with the Egypt team coach by calling him a donkey!
COYS!