Beef Bagel

We’ve got a match tomorrow night. Just thought I’d let everybody know that. It’s important we try to think of other things than Chelsea, like for example remembering to turn up at the Lane to watch Spurs vs Braga, after all I’ve paid a whole £51 for that privilege. I think MJ and the boys know there’s something going on otherwise there wouldn’t be all this talk about injuries but other than that there’s barely been a peep about our European adventure.

Yes, it’s all fall out and fall in of our last and coming game against that small club from Fulham. So, we’re told by a man at the Independent that MJ was forced by the board to start Dimitar the Great having wanted the beautiful Bulgarian to sit the tie out and rest his aching bones. It is said that Mido was down to start until the last when the veto came down from above, like the soon extinct House of Lords, and upon the bare head of our giant Dutchman, suggesting that MJ wanted to save our best man because he didn’t believe we could win the tie. Is this true? Well, maybe.

We hear of non-communication between Comolli and Jol but forcing the manager to pick a certain team does seem a little extreme. The board would be shooting themselves in the foot. The players love MJ and we love MJ, why rock the boat and why should a single source from the Independent be trusted, particularly an unnamed source at that, rather like that fourth dish that turns up with the lime pickle, the mango chutney and the yoghurt mint thing at all good curry houses. Who bother with that one?

I’ve got to say though, it scares the fuck out of me that MJ took off both Berbatov and Lennon, which most likely cost us the win. Sure Dimitar’s groin may have been strained but I don’t see him on the doubt list for tomorrow night along with the other 300 casualties. And MJ’s excuse for the removal of Little Aaron was something along the lines of him being young, which sounded fine at the time but now smacks of the worst excuse since that bloke turned up at casualty with a milk bottle stuck on his nob, claiming he’d slipped on his doorstep wearing only his dressing gown.
It struck me at the time that MJ made a decision. I believe he wanted to rest our striker and our winger and was willing to gamble our two goal lead with confidence in his defensive unit. I believe he was telling porkies about the groin strain. He took a risk and it was naive to think that we could hold out at Stamford Bridge in a purely defensive stand. I love MJ but that’s just the feeling I get. All I can hope is that with an extra game and Gardner’s broken fibula as a direct result of coming on at the Bridge, that this enormous backfiring may have taught our manager a lesson. I think the world must have screamed at their TV’s when those subs were made on Sunday. Interesting to see what he does on Monday.
With Gardner out and Rocha UEFA cuptied we’ve got some serious makeshiftery to take care of tomorrow and for the rest of that campaign in our Lilywhite defense. The only genuine option is reserve captain Charlie Lee, who I’d most soon see play but stand ins could come in the form of Chimbondabonda, Didier Zee and the Man Mountain.

The first and last could do the job but Zokora’s only 5′10″ and as tough as he is I don’t fancy his chances against six foot plus opposition when it comes to aerial supremacy, besides, we want him in the middle.

Some time at the back could be good for Big Bad Tom; getting some of that aggression into his game by hook or by crook but I figure you’ve got to give the kids a chance. Charlie Lee’s a centre half. That’s his trade. There’s an opening in the canopy and it’s time for this sapling to see if he can make it in the jungle. Come on MJ. Let’s see what this Charlie Lee can do and while we’re at it, if you’re going to take Little Aaron off to rest his little bones, stick Abel Tarrabt on the bench to give us that dangerman option.

There’s resports a-floating round today and by God, I hope they’re true. Not for the first time Arjen Robben has been linked with us. The only trouble is, he’s been linked with Barca too. Both clubs have a Dutchman at the helm so no advantage there. They are arguably the No.1 club in the world. 1-0 to Barca.

The only trump cards we have are that a) we’re more likely to pay what it takes to get him. Chelsea say £16m, Barca £12m and we say £(insert amount here)m, b) He’s already in London and happy, c) Chelsea hate Barca more than they hate us. The last thing they’ll want to do is help one of their biggest European rivals.

Robben was by far the most dangerous player against us on Sunday. Just imagine him and Lennon on opposite wings! Excuse me, while I wipe the dribble from my keyboard and something else all together stickier too.

The other left wing option being looked at right…er…left now is QPR’s Lee Cook. Remember him? Looking back, I’d forgotten he was 24 and actually a year older than Robben; a year older but around £12m cheaper and probably a lot less good. I’m not really selling this am I? I don’t want him. I want Robben. I want an Umpa Lumpa now!

There’s competition for Cook too in all manner of mediocre Premiership forms but well…I think I’ve made myself clear.

Last but not least a big shout out to the Yid Army and the Headhunters, who scared the living crap out of a pub full of Gucci loafered sloanes out side the White Horse (Sloaney Pony) on Parson’s Green on Sunday night. I doubt 40 grown nutters going at each other with hockey sticks and four by two was exactly what they had in mind for an evenings entertainment down the pub. That’ll give them a story to tell their grandkids/tennis coaches.
The Bagel’s got no kind of problem with this kind of arranged hooliganism, provided no-one unwitting is involved. I’ve spoken to a few on the fringes of these firms and they seem to get a lot of pleasure out of it whatever end of the beating they’re on. It would be nice if it didn’t waste all that Police and hospital time though.

Perhaps a last refusal at casualty would be fair or maybe they could supply their own medical teams, complete with stretchers, physios and even substitutes? We could even come down and watch. Stick a few shirts on them, get Sky down and it could be Blackburn vs Bolton. Anyone seen the ball?

Hot Battered bagels,

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 at 8:48 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.