Beef Bagel

Oh sweet, sweet like a cup of delicious chocolate hotspur with an 89th minute winner as a marshmallow to dunk. Suddenly I’m looking at the league again with an altogether more positive outlook. When a game a two ago it was just how close we are to the drop, now I’ve eyes on the gap between ourselves and those from the South coast, who shop at Matalan. We’re only a couple of wins away from Pompey and Reading and those coveted UEFA spots. As for Bolton and that Allardyce thug, well, we can start on that one come Sunday but more on that another day.

What I’d like to do for a minute is talk UEFA Cup. We’re going to win it, of course. Anyone who’s seen us play in the competition so far is in no doubt of that and besides, like the FA Cup it’s a trophy that simply belongs to us. It shakes every time we play as does the cabinet where it’s soon to rest at WHL. The other silverware is making space for it as we speak.

We now know it’s Braga we are to face in the last 16 and to save you looking it up (and I had to) that’s in Northern Portugal. So expect people with funny accents whinging and complaining how grim it is. It’s a very old town with some beautiful architecture dating back to the 1st century, so do remember that as you throw up your fifteenth San Miguel against its brickwork.

Unfortunately, it appears your breaded one here will not be able to join you on this leg of the European tour owing to a distinct lack of flights in and out of Porto (Oporto), which seems to be the nearest useful airport. It’d have to be a quick mission for me and a minimum of two or three days out there seems to be the only way. For those with a little time on your hands or a willing to lose your jobs (and I commend you), check out Portuguese budget airline Tap Air. It was less than £50 return last time I looked but don’t forget you’ll need a car or train to get you to Braga but then, isn’t all that just part of the fun?

I was initially hoping that Blackburn would crash out of the comp, as they did but if anyone saw the last 20 minutes of their match against Leverkusen would have to feel for those Lancastrians. The Germans weren’t half playing dirty, as is their wont. A lot of wind ups and professional fouls used to run the clock down and put the impressive looking Brits off their stride. Just not gentlemanly but then Blackies did have two good chances spurned by trialist Nonda, who no doubt will now be going straight back where he belongs, presumably the shit heap. Shame really as the midfield played rather well when they had one and I am beginning to seriously covet Pedersen and his skills. Oooo he’d look great in Lilywhite. Morten, take on us. You reckon someone could have a word with those Norwegian Spurs at the nest away game. Maybe the could put a Raindeer’s head in his bed or something, make him an offer he couldn’t refuse?

AS it goes there is one bit of personnel fact to mention and that’s that we’ve taken on board an Italian trialist bagels and gentlemen. Is he a classic centre half/sweeper able to read the game to a t? Well, sort of. He’s a goal keeper. He’s 15. His name is Mirko Lamantia, and his head looks a little something like this…

…ok, so he’s too young to have a head just yet but look, they’re both Italian made.

The kid (not David) has already been playing for 3rd Division Novara, not dropping a ball, which is ironic considering that’s only just happened to his. This kind if behaviour can only be good for us and if he turns out to be the next Dino Zoff, then everyone else can just keep their hand zoff. See what I did there?

And while trawling the lower leagues of Italian football, which must be rather difficult to do unnoticed these days with Damien Comolli and other scouts sitting conspicuously alone in empty 50,000 seaters, our Sporting Director may have found another chap of note. This time it’s a midfielder, a ball winner and thankfully the right side of puberty at 23 (well, you hope). As a Ghanian, naturally he’s been compared to his countrymen before him but check out this quote. He’s said to be:

“A more technical Desailly, a physical Muntari and a powerful Michael Essien.”

But then, it was probably his mother who said that, or his agent, or his mother’s agent or something. I suppose you could do with a name at this point? Ahmed Apimah Barusso. Feel better now? No? Ok, well, here’s his head…

…auditioning for the new Reach Toothbrush add.

The 6′ player is kicking up a storm over in Serie B’s Rimini and attempting to take the net with him…

…traction engine is all I have to say about that.

It’s all hearsay right now but you’ve got to admit, he looks tasty, tasty like a slice of the tenderest saltiest beef cut fresh on a drunken night at your local deli. Delicious.

Schmorgesbagels

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 23rd, 2007 at 12:56 am and is filed under Bagel News, Transfer News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.