Beef Bagel

There is a terrible rumour going round the well established sites, the forums, and even a blog or two that Ledley King has played his last game. Yes, you read right. Through whispers more Chinese and more terrible than Chairman Mao, word has traveled around our Tottenham campfire that his retirement is to announced in a few weeks time. As asked in the wonderful Amazon Women on the Moon, ‘Bullshit or not?’

Not
1. Rumours have started from two separate sources inside White Hart Lane. One overheard in a box at the Bolton game and the other by someone close to Ledley’s mum (Ledley’s dad?)

Bullshit

1. Why should some bloke in a box know all about what goes on at Spurs. He could have just been some pisshead on a jolly with Rainham Steel.

2. Ledley’s mum said so? Did she give him a note as well?

‘Dear Mr Jol,

Ledley’s not feeling very well today could he please miss the rest of the season and his career please.

Yours,

Mrs King

P.S. Yid Army.’

Not

2. This is not the first time it’s been mentioned since the summer break. The smoke is gathering so perhaps there is a fire?

3. Tony Gardner has come out in the press saying although he’s been linked with moves away he’s happy to stay and fight for his place. Is that because it’s not going to be much of a fight from now on?

Bullshit

3. Baby Face has been with us for years. He’s a Yiddo. If he’d wanted to go he would have left long before now.

4. Surely those at Spurs would have had an inkling about Ledders while the window was still open in January. Wouldn’t we have made a bigger move than Rocha?

5. It’s a foot problem? It’s not like Dean Richards with his head or something to do with his back or some vital organ or other. We’re talking toes more or less here. What’s the doctor said? Don’t ever play again or your foot will fall off?

We don’t really know what the score is here but it’s certainly one hell of a scare. If it were true it would be an unmitigated disaster, the biggest tragedy since…since…no there never has been anything worse. It would be cruel for us to lose our best player and most faithful Yiddo but it would be terrible for the game to lose one of its finest ever tacklers. If I think about this any more I’ll cry. I’m simply going to put my fingers in my ears and sing loudly until all this talk has gone away.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

In the mean time, Spurs are appealing against Robbie’s red card but it doesn’t take an inside source to know where that one’s going to go. The video replays will be inconclusive as we’ve already seen and the FA will stand by their man in black, particularly as Graham Poll has not had the easiest of times of late and they probably wouldn’t be wrong to do so. Robbie will still be banned for three games and so the Keane machine will have wound back down a couple of gears before we get him playing again. Lucky we’ve a Berbatov and a Little Yiddo.

Finally, the least plausible story of the season has arisen in that Spurs are entering the race for Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o. Never going to happen unless the other horses in that race have only three legs. Firstly, he’s not going to leave, I don’t care how real his dressing room bust up was. Secondly, he’s going to want CL football and thirdly we can’t/wont afford the £20m required but just to tease you, here’s his head…

…getting a little Teutonic love…

…being a little tea pot…

…and just after his tracheotomy and presumably before bed time. Yes this man lives and breathes the game so much he even shits footballs…

…and just in case you haven’t seen what he can do, get a load of this…

Not the ridiculous spectacular but the man doesn’t know how to miss. Let’s hope it’s something he learns should he sign for the wrong part of North London.

Bagel or not?

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 at 1:16 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.