Beef Bagel

We should be celebrating. I know I was. Grabbing a point at Craven Cottage is a clear indication that our away troubles are over. For the first time in five years we haven’t lost that fixture. Unfortunately, the actual performance was far from convincing and no Grzegorz Rasiak to blame this year. As if to rub salt into the wound, not that it’s much of a wound, more of graze. As if to rub salt into the graze, our worst signing in recent history was slotting home the winner not 3 miles away at Loftus Road.

I was pleased to see that MJ was none too fussed at missing out on the points either but I wonder how he feels today? The Bagel for one, is slightly less content with us now down to 8th and only 4 points between ourselves and 15th place, occupied by Fulham, as it goes. Got to start picking up points in threes for a change and with the Man U next on the list, it’s time to start praying for something pretty special at WHL. Should we lose of course, we will at least have the pleasure of knowing that we haven’t helped Chelsea any. More on the game at the Cottage soon. I’ve got a story in the ovens as we speak but it’s not coming out until it’s nice and golden brown. Nothing half baked from The Bagel.

The biggest piece of news to have hit our club in the last few days is that of what appears to be our bye into the last 16 of the UEFA Cup or the quarter finals, as I’m sure it used to be known. The reason for this generosity? Has UEFA realised our fixture congestion? Did they know we were going to beat Feyenoord anyway? Or is UEFA president, Lennart Johansson, simply a Yiddo? As much as I’d like to go for the third option, the answer is none of the above.

In case you weren’t aware, there’d been ongoing discussions as to whether or not the Rotterdam leg of the tie was to be played behind closed doors or not. The Dutch fans had rioted at their group game in Nancy earlier in the competition and we were all waiting on the decision with baited breath before trying to explain to wives and girlfriends just why we were going to Holland of all places over Valentine’s Day.

So, imagine our shock and presumably, Feyenoord’s outrage when we heard on Friday that they’d been ejected from the competition altogether. The only choice left to be made is if we’re to receive the much hinted at freebie to the next round or instead, we play the fourth placed team from Group E, Wisla Krakow.

I feel rather win-win in this one. We’ve wanted to play in Europe, so that we can actually play in Europe. We sing ‘We’re all going on a European Tour’ because we actually want to go on it but at the same time, you can’t really argue with a step closer to some much wanted silverware. After all, along with the FA Cup, it is our competition. We’ll find out at some point today what the final decision is to be. Stay tuned.

The other major news the club had been waiting on was that of the ticket allocations for Carling Cup semi against our good friends the Finsbury Park scumheads. The wankers that they most certainly are from the tea lady to the top, bitched to the Football League and refused to grant us the 12.2% of seats that the competition demands. Instead, they whined about safety concerns: “How could we segregate the fans? Oh, it’s all so confusing with this new stadium of ours. It’s only because it’s our first year here.”

But these pitiful excuses don’t add up. First, it’s very easy to keep the supporters separate. You leave a slice of seats empty and fill the gap with as many stewards and police that they feel would be necessary to stop their sorry arses being wiped all over their filthy new ground. Secondly, as well pointed out by Oog, exactly what are they saying will be different after this year. How is it going to be easier in the future than it is right now?

It’s more than a little obvious that they just want to keep the number of Spurs fans down and as it goes, I understand their concerns. Given that their new library is quieter than a mouse in slippers, imagine how intimidated they’d feel by seven and a half thousand away fan throng, who know a little more about support. Those twats in red would have to take a rather long hard look at themselves, assuming of course, that the mass of travelling Spurs hadn’t rioted and already gouged out their eyes.

The upshot of all this is that chief knob jockey, David Dein (I do apologise to all homosexuals out there for associating him with you but the man clearly loves the cock) has got his way and they’ve been allowed to get away with supplying just two thirds of what they should. Naturally, Daniel Levy, Yiddo that he is, has protected our interests by making sure that the scummers receive an equal percentage at the Lane, which works out as around 3,000 soiled seats for the home leg on Wednesday.

The real problem The Bagel has with all this is that it makes me a lot less likely to get a ticket myself and I’d dearly love the pleasure of celebrating in their very own home as we knock them out the cup. You’ll be able to hear the cheers at WHL. We’ll be doing the Yiddo dance till dawn.

Loves the cock.

More later today but for now, there’s one bagel I know who needs some serious shut eye.

The butcher, the baker, the bagelstick maker.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 3:35 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.