Beef Bagel

Well, it had to happen eventually. It’s taken 5 months, 10 days and 11 and a half hours but finally Neil Warnock has proved to be an itch in The Bagel’s hole. Yes, he’s right royally nobbed me off. Shame really, I was quite enjoying his candor.

“The problem Michael had at Spurs was that they wanted too many big name players,” said the qualified chiropodist and referee, the “Michael” in question being Brown (in name rather than colour; it’s not a race thing, nor Wes’ middle name).

“I think he was good enough, but didn’t really get the opportunities. The board wanted ‘names’ who I don’t think were as good as Michael anyway.”

I shouldn’t really rise to this but it’s such wonderful ignorance that it’s hard not to. I love Michael Brown. Great servant, very useful and second only in commitment, grit and Yid factor to Stefan Freund. The man even got himself a ‘Yiddo’ christening the other day at Fulham, when he came up to take a corner. Now that’s respect and anyone who knows and that’s clearly not Colin Wanker, will remember that we simply had to let him go as we had, I don’t know, how many was it, 14, 15, 103 or so midfielders at the time? Carrick was always going to get a start and the opportunities simply weren’t going to arise at Spurs anymore. Why am I even discussing this? Damn you Warnock.

I suppose it does at least link onto the FA Cup draw for the 5th round made on Monday afternoon that saw us matched up with Fulham and gives our midfielders the pleasure of being kicked about by Michael Brown once again. It’s funny, despite the fact that 1-1 is the best we’ve managed at the Cottage in the last five attempts, I can’t help feeling like we’re going to beat them this time around. That’s the magic of the Cup for you. I’ll be braving the ground once more with a bagel, a prayer and my lucky pants firmly secured.

While we’re on the FA Cup, I simply must post two of the finest goals I’ve seen for a while. For those of you who missed them and those of you like me, who can watch them over and over, I give you Messers Nugent…

…and Sinclair…

…with some amusing words from the head of Ian Holloway and an amusing head with some words from David Nugent.

To finish off my comments from yesterday, it was a pleasure to have JJ back in the centre of the park. He looked like a real pro and at the same time showed Hossam Ghaly up for being a bit of a monkey. Ghaly’s clearly a skillful player; a lot of athletic ability, good work rate, always trying, lots of heart and fewer teeth but I’m developing two theories as to what’s going wrong:

a) He’s not quite got the measure of Premiership football or indeed the tactics of the game on the whole or

b) He’s stupid.

You should’ve seen Jenas’ face as he screamed at his Egyptian counterpart standing stock still yards from the Southender on the ball,

‘Press! Press! Press! Press!’

It was a look of pure horror, mixed with utter incredulity. Ghaly was also to blame for a mix up between Stalteri and Safety First, as he passed back the ball, only to run off, supplying his defenders with no return option and two strikers baring down on them.

I’m hoping it’s just one of those first season things, despite the fact that technically speaking, it’s actually his second. As I say, the…hang on, how old is he…25 year old…hmmm…he should have really got it by now. When he’s good he’s very, very good, when he’s bad he’s horrid.

Just going back to Jenas briefly. I stumbled across perhaps what is now my favourite photo of any footballer ever…

…great face. But I digress.

In the last piece of cup news before we dive into the murky shallows of the transfer pool, please note that Feyenoord are appealing against their removal from the UEFA Cup. We’ll hear by the 9th Feb as to whether or not we’ll have to play them but I’ve a feeling it’s going to be bye bye baby.

So, here we are. Two days to go and still a few matters left to sort out, the biggest being wood nymph Gareth Bale.

There he is. Like the FA Cup itself.

So, it looks now like he’s going to turn us down because Man U have pulled out and he’s no intention of coming to a club that isn’t United or arsenal. I don’t know. These kids today with their music.

I think the official line is that he wants to wait till the summer to decide but he clearly just doesn’t want to play for us. His loss, well, actually ours but never mind. Besides, it’ll probably all have changed by the time you’re reading this. Hell by the time of checked this for spelling he’ll probably be subject to a last minute bid from West Ham and Newcastle together for a joint £20m and a time share scheme for his legs.

But Bale is not the only player so sought after by Premiership giants. Oh, no sir. Another great tug of war is going on between Wigan and Bolton, this time with Danny Murphy as the rope, although a very tired and worn rope he makes. On the one leg is Paul Jewell and the promise of feeling like a star amongst a squad of ‘who?’ and on the other is Big Face Sam, trying to convince the midfielder that he’s ready to settle down with his pipe, slippers and box of Werther’s Originals. Not really bothered what is decided over this one. It’d be a shame to lose his wife though; a real asset to the club and what assets.

The only man left to mention today is Giles Barnes. His name’s cropped up again with the quite reasonable price tag of £3m and all in good time for the exit of Edgar D but I couldn’t help noticing that Derby sold another of their midfielders the other day and with no comment or acknowledgment from either club, I’m thinking it’s just hearsay and perhaps a little wishful thinking on our part. Why would Derby part with one of their best players when they’re in such a good promotion position, unless of course it’s a trick and after we sign him, the whole squad, management and back room staff are going to break out of his body in the dead of night and take over our club. Has that ever been tried in football?

Beware of Greeks baring bagels.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 at 2:02 am and is filed under Bagel News, Transfer News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.