Beef Bagel

Like the feeling of immersing one’s aching body into a beautiful hot bath. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Yes, that’s what it feels like to finally get that first away win of the season. That dog is put to rest, the duck broken, our hymen torn. I’m just glad they were gentle.

It was a fitting game to come to form. MJ’s 100th match in charge saw us score in open play, undo City’s unbeaten home record, get our goal difference back to scratch, climb back into a likely UEFA Cup spot and for The Bagel to unleash more stats than he’s ever crammed into a single sentence but of course, records are there to be broken. This timely win makes it four on the bounce and three in the league, which is also our best winning streak since 2005 and what with xmas approaching, I hear that makes it at least a year.

If you didn’t manage to catch it, you missed a goody. Thanks to the Yucatan pub, The Bagel got to witness possibly the best 45 minutes of our season so far. With a midfield of Tainio, Ghaly, Malbranque (groin) and Man Mountain Tom Huddlestone, we looked strong and had all the possession of the first half. Slick move after slicker one with Big Bad Tom as star of the show left myself and all the other Spurs in the pub singing and cheering like we were at the game. The beer may have helped as well.

We looked strong all over the pitch; solid at the back, smooth in the middle and dangerous every time we went forward. Rather like a chocolate bar with danger. Steeeeed had his best game for the club with some imaginative passing, surprisingly good tackling and a scissor kick volley that very nearly found the net. However, this truly was a game of two halves and what we had in comfort in the first was replaced by as much in pressure in the second. City came right back at us and very nearly did enough to steal our hard fought points. Vassell looked a threat with Barton supplying the support, their goal and very nearly a penalty that most probably should’ve been. Little angry shit with enough room on his shoulders for more than just the one chip, Paul Dickov was threatening to make me my smash my pint glass in fury. He delivered the cross for Barton’s strike and was at his wasp chewing best to nearly break my heart.

But enough of the coulda, woulda, shoulda because the fact remains that we did and now sit just two points off fourth spot and it seems it’s not just The Bagel who’s getting those twitches of grandeur…

“If you look at the league, we are only four points from fourth place and we’ve only played 17 games, so there is plenty of time.”

…so says Damien Comolli and I like his thinking. I like it even more considering it’s now 18 games and two points from fourth but it’s interesting he should make this statement after MJ came out last week saying how he’s not interested in CL qualification and that the team isn’t ready. Perhaps we’re not but if Tottenham play the way we’ve just seen, then we may well have that greatness thrust upon us.

And these weren’t the only good words to come from our director of football’s lips this weekend. I know there’s many of you out there who’ll appreciate these ones even more…

“There is no possibility at all that Jermain will go in January.

Jermain is part of the club. The stats show he has started a lot of Dinamo Bucharest in midweek, so he is not going anywhere. We know his qualities and that is why he is part of the future of the club.

There is no price tag at all, he is not for sale.”

Clear enough? I think we can safely say that the Little Yiddo will still be with us by the time we’ve all given up on our New Year’s resolutions and most likely when the window closes as well. So, with one player less to worry about, that just leaves us sweating over Martin O’Neills’s love affair with Robbie Keane and a ludicrous offer coming in for Little Aaron but after the last few games, do we have a fresh worry on our hand?. Very soon, people are going to start paying attention to the Man Mountain. We already lost one Carrick. I’d hate to lose the new improved model, the Carrick 2000 with added size, strength and willingness to shoot. We may find Ferguson on our doorstep in month with a receipt in one hand and a sorry looking Geordie midfielder in the other.

‘I…er….I think you gave me the wrong one.’

Away from transfers, there is of course the mixed news over our draw for the UEFA Cup against old foes Feyenoord. The plus sides are that MJ knows them and knows them well, that there’s something of a derby about the game, it being a repeat of the 1974 UEFA Cup final and that it’s not too far to travel. The down side is that in all likelihood, there’ll be no travelling at all as it looks like the game is going to be played behind closed doors. Now if only those closed doors where the ones in the Bakery. The ovens would get in the way a little but we could always use bagels for goalposts.

So, unfortunately we’ll have to make it through another round if we fancy a European adventure. I suppose we could travel out to Rotterdam anyway but then, what would be the point of going all the way to Holland for no football with only the coffee shops and sex tourism to entertain us? Wait a minute…

One man who you may bump into on such a trip abroad is Tottenham old boy, Mbulelo Mabizela or Ritual Umbungo, as I once heard him called in perhaps the least PC moment ever witnessed. The South African centre half has been banned by their FA for six months after traces of marijuana were found in his system. Suspicions were first aroused by his red eyes, the Rizlas in his car and that way that he kept…er…you know…with that….thing….er…with the….er…..what was I talking about again?

It’s a little soon as yet to have the goals from Sunday’s game as splendid as they are but trust in The Bagel and he’ll have them for you to view again and again by the next time we speak. In the mean time, enjoy a brief clip of Martin Jol, ladies’ man as he gets cheeky with Gabby Logan…

Oh my bagel, oh my bagel, oh my bagel Clementine.

The Bagel

This entry was posted on Monday, December 18th, 2006 at 2:06 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.