Beef Bagel

I’m going to stop looking at the news. Each time I see the sports headlines another Tottenham player is injured. Our six lions have been reduced to 3 with Ledley, Little Aaron and JJ all out with two knocked knees and a calf respectively. On the one hand I’m glad this happened now rather than letting them train on and even play with their niggling complaints, crutches, bandages and all but on the other I’m a little distressed as we’ve got a tough game away at Blackburn at the weekend.

I’m a little suspicious actually. I think they’re being nobbled. Chelsea and England super thug John Terry has clearly still got “the ‘ump” after our historic victory and is taking our players out one by one. Mark my words, it’ll be Defoe in a minute after ‘defensive drill’ went wrong. The ‘drill’ involved will more likely be of the Black ‘n Decker variety.

The one silver lining is that we may get another chance to test the Zokora/Huddlestone engine room that’s looked so promising before. However, in the absence of a King/Lennon squad the effect could well be lost unless their replacements prove most worthy indeed.

So, Reading was a bit of a choker. Yes, I think that may have been it; a choking. A lack of confidence, guile and that ingredient that does so often appear to be missing from our play; the ability to kill a game off. Reading did well with their goals but our defence was, well…you all saw Match of the Day, astonishingly bad for us. We’ve been excellent at the back on the whole. ‘Wha gwan?’ as they say on the streets of Jamaica, or so I’m led to believe by those who imitate.

I can handle a slip up, a momentary lapse as long as it is just that but our excuses are wearing thin when our points tally should be fat. We’re six pips from relegation and six from the Champions League and if we don’t make a move soon we’re going to be stuck in mediocrity or worse by the end of the season.

The bit that really sticks in The Bagel’s craw, the part that hurts the most, is the way they all mock our shit brown strip and rightly so. I’m not a huge fan of the second strip. This season’s shade of turquoise blue like blueberry slushy induced vomit doesn’t greet my eye with a polite ‘hello’ but at least it’s not the same colour as faeces. Actually, that Blue Curacao stuff can do funny things down there.

At the end of the day though, it’s not about what I like. It’s how the players feel and it’s important that when they pull their shirts on, they do it with pride and confidence and not an awkward silence as they look at one another reminded of an uncomfortable pressure in their bowel walls.

In transfer news, our plans for self-harming lefty, Leonardo may have hit a snag as his move to the UK can’t happen without his acquisition of a Dutch passport (that sounds like a term for some sort of bribe) and presumably due to a tardy application and if he’s anything like The Bagel, the form will have been quietly gathering fluff, bread crumbs and the odd jam stain as it lay half obscured down the back of the cooker, he wont get it until March. Unfortunately, the ‘Make March First’ campaign was not successful for next years calendar and so as normal, January and it’s window will occur before Leo is able to move. If you recall, NEC Breda need to sell before the summer if they’re to get any money at all for the winger, which means a non-passport required domestic move to PSV, where the Brazilian is also wanted, is pretty much a dead cert. Bugger.

If that wasn’t bad enough, yet another of our left wing targets has put himself out of the running by extending his contract with Lyon until 2010 or some other year that sounds unfathomably futuristic. Ben Arfa has pledged his playing days or the next few, at least, to the French club and well, why not? Let’s be honest, we’d probably given up on that one a long time ago.

A new link has, however, emerged between our good selves and Man U’s Kieran Richardson. Here’s his head…

…as pictured with his “nephews”. That’s a little too satisfied a smile for my tastes and a little nervous as well. The one on the left is wondering if he’s going to get to sees those puppies after all. Have I gone to far?

For the blind amongst you here’s the same picture…

…3D monitors required.

We know him. Do we want him? He’s a promising left sider and he’s only a decent run in a team short of proving how good he can really be. Fergie’s never usually wrong about these kids and it’d take a good £5 mill or so to tear him from the Scotsman’s clutches. He’s English and young, which ticks the boxes for us but most importantly, he did snub the Arsenal youth system in favour of United’s and that kind of Goon hatred is very hard to teach. Only the briefest of rumours this one but you never know.

The last little linkage (and that’s to be pronounced in a French manner, i.e. a soft ‘g’ - link-aje) for this week is to a full back, presumably to keep us from having to play Stalteri or the not quite ready Ifil. His name, Yohan Demont; his club, Lens; his head, like this…

…when obscured by a football or was he in fact the much talked about first face transplant in France? The program was incredibly expensive and sponsored by Nike.

He’s 28 years old and right in his footballing prime. He was followed by Man U for a little while a year or two ago as he’s able to play right wing as well. He’d have to be content to be second fiddle to Chimbondabonda but if he’s keen and more importantly cheap, then what the hell but frankly, who gives?

Oh, looky what The Bagel’s found. The headed goal is Demont’s, if you can work that out through the terrible focus. It’s a rubbish clip really but worth it for the commentary. Haven’t a clue what he’s saying but I’m sure there was a moment of GCSE French oral, where he asks for a return to Calais and a large, inflatable, orange, beach ball…

Right that’s enough for now. Short announcement to follow as soon as I get a moment. Enjoy the friendly tonight…or don’t.

Bagel’s No.1, Bagel’s, Bagel’s No.1!

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 at 5:04 pm and is filed under Bagel News, Transfer News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.