Beef Bagel

In just over a week’s time The Bagel will be taking to the skies on board some tin can of a budget airplane bound for lovely, lovely Prague. According to the BBC website, the weather will be…well it’s hard to tell actually. The temperatures range from 19-30 degrees C over the next few days but there is one constant and that’s that there ain’t a cloud in the sky. Beautiful! Let’s hope the football is too.

So, I’ve got the time off sorted, got the flights, hotel’s on the way…hmmm…what am I missing? Oh yeah, the match tickets. Still no word from the WHL as to whether I’m going to actually get to watch some football while I’m out there or not. I’ve started checking my on line bank statements every five minutes. It’s becoming unhealthy.

I better make sure I get my phrase book out of my clear plastic wallet for my airbourne hour or two so I can work out the Czech for ‘I need a ticket for the game’ ‘That seems like an awful lot?’ ‘And a night with my sister?’ and any Slavia Prague chants, which I’ll need once seated in the wrong end. There’s nothing like following your team abroad.

The next question is, when The Bagel does finally get his buns on stadium seat, will he be watching the work of Dimitar Berbatov? In case you were unaware, Mr.B picked up a groin injury whilst on international duty the other night against Romania. Incidentally, anyone know who netted both of Bulgaria’s goals? Anyone? Anyone? Petrov (The Bulgarian one) (Martin) (The left winger we didn’t sign). Ho-hum.

Anyway, there’s a bit flap going on a everywhere.

‘Oh my God, will he be fit in time for the next game? Will he play in the UEFA Cup? Will he ever play the violin again?

Who cares? Seriously. This is why we bought Mido. Dimitar is a better player than Hossam the Wonder Horse but he hasn’t done anything as yet to prove himself as indispensable. It’s not like we’re going to be missing Lennon or Robbo. Mido can do the job. So, slow measured breaths one and all. Brown paper bags if you need them. Tap the heels of your studded Pumas together and repeat, ‘There’s no team like Spurs, there’s no team like Spurs, there’s no team like Spurs.’

But all so far is piffle. A trifling irrelevance of an insignificant footnote to an appendix of a pamphlet long, long out of print. The Bagel has something very, very important to talk about today and I need your help, I need all your help and what’s more we need the help of many, many more.

You see ladies and gooner-haters, I was with a Southampton supporting friend of mine the other day, who had just been down St.Mary’s and it seems they’ve come up with a rather good song for our ex striker-come-court jester, Grzegorz Rasiak. They’ve taken the tune from the song ‘Give it up’ by KC & The Sunshine Band and replaced the words:

‘Na, na, na ,na ,na, na, na, na, na, na,
Baby, give it up,
Give it up,
Baby, give it up.’

with:

‘Na, na, na ,na ,na, na, na, na, na, na,
Grzegorz Rasiak,
Rasiak,
Grzergorz Rasiak.

‘You know the song I’m talking about? Hang on…nope can’t find it anywhere.

The point is that this just highlights other clubs vocal inventiveness against our current crop of songs. I know we have it in us. ‘The Road to Amarillo’ is genius; homophobic and slanderous but genius. We used to have a whole host of classics but a large number of comings and goings in the last few years has never really given us time to develop any real gems and as a result we just end up with a bunch of ‘There’s only one…’ fill in the blank.

We’ve got a few sorted. Jermain Defoe’s fixed as are Keano, Robbo, Davids, Ledley, even Mido actually. I’m sure we can adopt ‘Steeeeeeeeeeeeeed’ but I’m not happy with ‘only one’ Michael Dawson and Aaron Lennon. Berbatov’s going to need one pretty quick and I’ve a feeling Chimbondabonda and Benoit A-E will be wanting pretty soon too. Bag of bagels for anyone who can get ‘Benoit Assou-Ekotto’ to scan.

So, what we need to do is create some brilliance and spread the word like wildfire. If you didn’t see this in one of my previous posts here’s an idea for our new right back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIOhu5G9SWo

and in case you need to hear it again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPgAPzKPtPQ&NR

Please, devote some time, get your iPods out, waste time at work, dust off your harmonicas, call up Quincy Jones and most importantly, put the band back together. No idea too ridiculous, no tune too obscure. Mail ‘em in, mail ‘em all in. Comment on this post or send them to me, thebagel@beefbagel.com. This campaign kicks off today and The Bagel will not rest until our songs are on the terraces.

The hills are alive with the sound of bagel.

The Bagel.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 5th, 2006 at 1:55 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.