Beef Bagel

I’ve got the spot picked out. Staggering through the old town, kebab in hand, trying desperately to hold it together enough not to look like the Iberian peninsula’s nightmare of English tourists, my buddy and I are stopped in our tracks at the sight of a Guinness sign and a chalk board.

‘Liverpool vs Tottenham, 13.45,’ I cheer as half a tomato wrapped in stringy lettuce drops from my gaping gob and onto the cobbled street. We stare for a moment at the garlic mayo splat beneath us. We look up at the name above the door, ‘The Sherlock Holmes,’ and fall about in our dismal failure to blend.

A good few minutes later, we wipe the tears from our eyes and the chilli sauce from our cheeks and with sides well and truly split make our best efforts at a mental note of where to find this place come Saturday. Better give ourselves an hour head start just to make sure.

So, The Bagel’s pre-match training is just about done, aside the boozy warm up, which I’m sure wont be too much of a problem. Now, are the players ready too?

As notified yesterday by Mr.Smart, I’m reading all over the place this morning that our smooth looking new front man has had a set back with his groin problem that’s going to leave him out of tomorrow’s clash and quite a few to come. It all seems rather vague a the moment with MJ apparently donning white coat and glasses to play Dr. Jol. He’s saying that surgery will not be necessary but it could take two or three weeks. Been pushed to hard in training, so the story goes. ‘By who?’ is the question on my lips. I’d like DNA tests done on the back of his shirt and a swab from Mido’s slightly less sweaty bits.

All the same, it looks like Hossan the Wonder Horse has got his chance to stake a claim on the coveted big man role. It will, however, involve playing with a hell of a lot more verve than he did against Fulham. Oh, and enough of trying to punch the ball into the back of the net, Ahmed. Fingers crossed, we’ll see some of that pre-African Cup of Nations form. He’s impressive when he gets it right.

Our two other injury concerns are both fairly fresh from the slab with little Aaron still groggy from the anesthetic but keen as ever he’s already jumped out of bed and started light training. Five minutes after regaining consciousness he was seen running his usual drills, beating players with his backless patient’s gown flapping in the wind. The missing cartilage doesn’t appear to be causing too many problems. In fact, it’s just made him a little lighter and faster without the excess ballast. Perhaps he should have a few more ops; pare himself down even more? He could remove things he’s got two of, a lung, a kidney. I don’t think he really needs his nose and as far as genitalia goes, well, he’ll just have to take one for the team. We’ll have a newer, faster, more streamlined Lennon before we know it.

At the same time, five weeks if all is to be believed, we’ll have Steed on the case as well. From no wings to a full flowing Spurs. I’m looking forward to seeing the results. Get well soon, the pair of you.

With these two holes in the starting XI, there’s still time for Danny Murphy to impress with a visit to his old stomping ground offering no better place to do so. He played ok against Fulham the other day and MJ agrees with The Bagel on this one with his less than lavish praise.

“Danny did pretty well against Fulham. You cannot say he is not a creative player.”

You cannot say he is not an average player and useless addition to our squad either but maybe this next month is the chance he needs to show us all.

Interesting times at WHL. Who and when will we gel and what is this gel made of anyway and where can I get some?

Gelly, custard, ice-cream and bagels.

The Bagel.

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This entry was posted on Friday, September 22nd, 2006 at 11:20 am and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.