Bagel in the Wind
With one player’s movement across London, quite literally eclipsing all other stories of the day there’s only a few tit bits of news on offer. Unless, of course, you’re reading Beef Bagel and oh look, you are!
Let’s get the boring bit over first. Pascal Chimbondabonda blah, blah, blah, Paul Jewell, blah, blah, blah, can’t stand the bastard, blah, blah, blah, too much money blah blah blah up the offer. But here’s where today’s Wigan Wars are different. Daniel Levy has officially said that there has been and will be no more offers for Chimbondabonda. The Frenchman has given up his escape plan from Castle JJB, admitted defeat and withdrawn his transfer request and the Black Knight Paul Jewell and his shiny tracksuit armour has won the day and will be keeping the much sought but overpriced full back. Somehow I don’t quite believe any of it but fingers crossed because I’m getting damn sick of this story.
So, now to the juicy chunks of beef in this bagel. We have two new names to talk about ladies and jellyspoons. The first is Petrov and before you think you know who I’m talking about, you should know that there are currently four professional players with that name and before you try, ‘I mean, the Bulgarian one,’ three of them are Bulgarian. In fact, you have to be even more careful still because although there is a Marin Petrov, the one we have been linked with is a Martin Petrov. Know him? Liar.
Martin Petrov is currently an Athletico Madrid player but they have said that they’re ready to listen to some offers. He’s 27 years old, around 180cm tall. Here’s his head…
…but the best part is that he’s a left winger! He’s probably the only one left in Europe yet to be approached by our heavies but don’t let this put you off because there’s some interesting things to be read about Martin.
“A pacy left winger with an aggressive approach and fierce shot” (his mum) (no actually it was someone at the BBC)
Admittedly, this comment was written two years ago but nevertheless he sounds like just the ticket. After a big buck move to Madrid, he doesn’t quite seem to have mad the impression they were hoping for but I’m thinking he must have a little something to prove and he’d certainly have plenty of chances to do so with very little competition for a place in our XI.
Next up we’ve got a young ‘un we’re chasing by the name of Nicky Law. Very hard to find anything on this kid, presumably because he’s just that and has never actually made a senior start at his club Sheffield United. Also partly as the Blades website itself is in contradiction to everything about him including his position. What The Bagel can tell you ,however, is this: He’s 18, here’s his head…
…he’s either a full back or a midfielder (does this mean he’s some sort of winger?) and he’s widely regarded as the best young prospect at the club, which is, of course, the most exciting part about him. After all, what are we if not a club making a very good turn around in fortunes, based upon harvesting the talents of lessor clubs? I love it when we by young players. Does that make me some sort of football paedophile?
Just before The Bagel delivers his finale, there has been a Bagel Flash and it says that Robbie Keane is looking like he’s going to be fit for Saturday’s opener. Let’s hope he doesn’t get confused and end up down the Oval.
But how else can I end today’s Bagel without a fitting tribute to the man that’s brought so many people, so much amusement with so much flab. With the three million pound ballast now jettisoned from our Tottenham balloon, we wave goodbye to Andy Reid as he plummets to the earth below, threatening all those in a five mile radius. And it seems that it’s not only myself who’s going to miss him. Just like back in 1997, Sir Elton John has once more re-written the words to his classic ballad ‘Candle in the Wind’. So from me, from Elton, we say adieu to The Fan in the Shirt. Parting is such sweet sorrow…
Goodbye Andy Reid
Though you were never any good
Apart from that one game against Everton
And that goal against Villa.
You came to us from Forest
Along with Michael Dawson
But he turned out to be a far better player
While you just warmed the bench.
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Or perhaps a Ginsters Pasty wrapper
When it’s thrown in the bin.
And I would have like to have seen you
Playing on the wing
But the team progressed long before
You ever did.
The Bagel.
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