The Bagel knows many of you will be deeply saddened by Manchester United’s unfortunate news yesterday afternoon. A flying meat hook from Rooney and a typical hack ‘n slash from Little Paul Scholes in the Amsterdam Cup means that both players will be missing from the 2nd, 3rd and most importantly, 4th games of the season.
‘How does this effect us?’ I hear the more dense among you cry. Well, the effect is two fold and accordingly, I would like to discuss this in two ways if I may. Firstly, in my normal voice and secondly in a kind of high pitched Mancunian whine.
If you haven’t already jumped on your diaries and rifled through the pages to September, I’ll save you the time and paper cuts by telling you that the 4th game of the season is us away at Manchester United. We got close there last season. We got robbed the season before. So, a slightly less well oiled Fergie Machine without the services of the Horse and now Rooney up front could be just the turn of luck we’ve been waiting for. We’ll still have to actually play very bloody well to stand a chance but I’ll take any edge we can get right now.
For those of you with tickets to the game, who are more upset that you’ll be traveling the distance only to be deprived of the chance of seeing England’s young spud play, well more fool you. The game’s on TV.
And to the second point…
“We ‘ad to play widout our kid Scholesy for most o last season and now we got to start de season widout both o dem? We gonna be 12 points be-ind de pack before we even begone. No fuckin’ way. What’s da story morning glory? United! (shit) etc, etc.”
So, here’s hoping we see a toothless outfit for the first few games then.
With Ruud out of the picture and no proven poacher on the books, I’m surprised that the face that burst a thousand capillaries hasn’t been enquiring after Dirk Kuyt. But I’m even more surprised to hear that despite Liverpool being after the big man, it looks like he’s turned them down in favour of Newcastle! Sound familiar?
What is it they’re offering players to convince them away from far better clubs? When asked at press conferences why they chose the barcodes, every player gets this slightly amused look and starts talking about it being a big club. What’s the real story here? Is it the enormous wage packets or do they have some sort of red hot, page 3 tea lady contracted to serve their every whim? Two sugars, a packet of Jammy Dodgers and get your chebs out pet.
Most likely it’s the former. I think we could all afford a slightly amused look at ÷?75,000 a week. With any luck they’ll be bust by xmas.
In the mean time, it’s our own new boy striker that’s making some more headlines with more of his Berbatalk. The Bagel loves it to bits but the Bulgarian Andy Garcia is setting himself up for one mighty fall in front of the press and more importantly, the fans.
“I know there are no easy games but I×?Tm confident we×?Tll win at Bolton on Saturday.”
So, let me get this straight. Bolton, a place where we haven’t taken 3 points since 1996 and that’s an easy game? I hope he’s right.
Like yesterday, I end today’s post with a request, a prayer. Levy & Co. are scaring off the obviously impoverished, Championship based, Niall Quinn with the price tag for The Fan in the Shirt but hold your breath because Stuart Pearce is expressing some interest to the tune of around ÷?2m. Now if only they can stump up the ÷?3m we’re holding out for. You never know. They might even cause a bidding war.
Light candles, hold hands, hold vigils, 2 pints of Guinness at the bottom of the chimney and probably a Ginsters as well.
With Bagels, no one can hear you eat.
The Bagel.
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August 16th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
To plaigarise the Fiver:
Spurs will not sell big-boned Irishman Andy Reid to Manchester City for a penny less than £3m. That’s £7,142-per-lb.
August 16th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
oi oi, check the fiver! my first appearance…! shame it had to be a story about the scum mind…
September 16th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
please teel me how much is it for tickets for a term, and or a match