Beef Bagel

Sixty hours remaining to make sure we’ve filled those gaps in the squad but rather than making any actual progress towards this end, all that seems to be happening is the transfer merry-go-round gaining more and more speed. Downing, Mido, Baptista, Malbranque, Chimbondabonda; the real question is where and when will it stop?

The real heat today is on the Mido move, which if you’re to believe all reports, is signed, sealed, delivered, opened with a knife, read, acted upon, had snot wiped on it, shredded, recycled and sent to rot on an anchored barge off Hong Kong Harbour. Should the certain shreddings lie next to one another in strategic places in the light of the Far Eastern sun, some would have you believe that you could read the figure £3.5m. Others would say there was an ajoining section of scrap with the words ‘plus Rodrigo Defendi.’

Remember him, Rodrigo Defendi? Bought by Frank at the beginning of his reign, he’s a young Brazilian player and, you guessed it if you didn’t already know, a defender. The poor kid’s never even made the bench and it now seems possible he’s going to be involved in some sort of Exchange and Mart deal for Hossam the wonder horse. It would be very hard for The Bagel to get all emotional about losing a player he’s never even seen but somehow in the back of my beef I always thought he’d come through the ranks. I never even got to see his head. Wait a minute. Here it is.

It’s tiny! No wonder we may get rid of him. How could he ever win the ball with a little pea of a noggin like that? One way or another, I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of Rodrigo. I’m sure it’s in his interest to get the hell out of Tottenham and at least start warming a bench somewhere. Roma is as good a place as any; nice weather, good food, more culture than you can shake a stick at. Good luck to him.

There are other reports though, and this is a freshie, that he may be joined by another Tottenhamite on his way out of the club, Young-pyo Lee. Didn’t see that one coming. It’s clear that Benoit E-A is being preferred at left back but I didn’t think it was time for him to bail just yet. Would they both be part of the Mido package? Why don’t we throw in some t-shirts and stickers while we’re at it and a free binder with part one.

This does, of course, add a little speculation to a rumour that Pascal Chimbondabonda may, in fact, be coming our way after all. He’s supposed to have handed a letter to Jewell & Co. threatening legal action based on the dishonouring of a verbal agreement the full back had with the club. I think that has to be the most tenuous legal grounds since the case of the woman suing a kitchen appliance company after she accidently exploded her dog in a microwave because it didn’t say ‘No dogs in the microwave’ but we all know who won that one.

Paul Jewell has held on to his man for far too long to let him go this late in the window under such a cheap threat. We may be losing Lee because we’ve got another right back lined up but I’ll be a gibbon’s grandad if it’s Pascal Chimbondabonda.

I can’t even begin to tell what the hell the state of play is with Stewart Downing. They don’t want him to leave. He doesn’t look like he wants to leave. They’re mucking about with talk of buying Lennon from us just to piss us off and frankly, it’s working. I want this to end. If we do get him and I really don’t think we will, expect an enormous amount of money.

You know what? I’m starting to feel a little despondent about this whole business. It was a fairly simple task. A left winger and a right sided full back please, hold the pickles. So, I get a little distressed when I see the Steed Malbranque rumour gathering pace. He’s a good player but we’ll never play him. Isn’t that obvious for all to see? He should know that, MJ should know that, most of us lot know it. Exactly where is he going to join the queue to play in central midfield? About where Danny Murphy is or nearer to Hossam Ghaly? So, what we’re saying is, not even on the bench. It must be hard to get a game in the reserves right now.

Oh, enough of the transfers! It’s making me nauseas. Instead let’s move on to the full blown illness that was the game on Saturday. ‘An Saturdayus Horriblus’ as the Queen would say. I’ve heard she likes her bagels. It’s rather difficult to come out with any positives on this one except perhaps that at least we wont be feeling the ‘undefeated against Everton’ pressure in next year’s fixture. Not much to hold on to, is it? They played well. We played like shit. So…er….let’s not do it again.

The worst part was this knowledge of our great squad, outdoing them man for man on paper all over the team sheet and yet for all this money and class they by far and away out played us. You sort of think phrases like, ‘Well, now what?’ and ‘Is a left winger going to make any difference if we play like that?’

The only thing that’s got me a really riled is the comments that we’re missing Carrick. There were plenty of games last season with Carrick, where we nearly played as badly as on Saturday but we squeezed out draws or chancey wins. But more than anything else, it wasn’t the skill or creativity we lacked, it was the desire to win the game. Edgar Davids running around the midfield, chasing the ball like a madman is one thing. That’s his job. Andy Johnson doing the same is desire to win.

Michael Carrick would not have helped us here. We may well end up missing him but we we’re not missing him yet. Times aren’t good but it’s early days and Ledley’ll be back for the next one.

Hold onto your bagels.

The Bagel

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 at 1:23 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.