Beef Bagel

Morning. Apologies for the late start on such a busy transfer day. In truth, it’s my Bagelday and I’ve just been out for a lovely breakfast of sweetened filter coffee, freshly squeezed orange and smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on, you guessed it, bagels.

Yes, Mr.Smart. Second choice signings indeed. As embarrassing as it may be to turn back to Mido, it’s not half as embarrassing as not being able to score a single goal as soon as Berbatov gets injured and we have no big man striker.

Employing a second string forward is a tricky business. They’ve got to be good but not so good that they expect to start every week. We’re not a Champions League club, so we don’t have that carrot to tempt them with either. Carlton Cole would probably have been ideal but that didn’t work out. So, we’re left with looking for a man who’s big, good, but short on action. It doesn’t leave a very long list.

Part of The Bagel feels like the plan was always to get Mido back. It was just a question of bargaining on Roma’s initial £6m-£10m price tag. It may not be electrifying news but he’s probably as good as we could have hoped for.

Steed is the one that worries me most. This feels like a stop gap if ever I heard one. A good player and an attacking midfielder at that but we all know he’s not a left winger by trade. Haven’t we square pegs enough to shove in this round hole already? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s that good and that adaptable but this is not the sort of news that allays my fears after Saturday’s nightmare.

At the least we’re taking him away from both West Ham and Fulham and at around £2.5m and 26 years old we’re not going to lose any money but please, let’s sign a proper winger, eh?

It’s strange but even the signing of Pascal Chimbondabonda seems like second prize this morning. It looks like we’ve got our man and the price isn’t that bad either at £3.75m rising to about £5m or so if he turns out to be any good. I never thought I’d say this because I love a good haggle but somehow all the mud slinging that’s gone with it seems to have sullied the deal some. I used to like Paul Jewell. Rumour had it he liked The Bagel too. I can’t help feeling I’ve lost a friend and all for the price of a few hundred thousand here or there.

Still, this catchy little number’s starting to cheer me up. At least we know how to sing his name. I can hear it in the stands now…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIOhu5G9SWo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPgAPzKPtPQ&mode=related&search=

Looks like I’m not the only one who enjoys his name.

With Malbranque moving one way, rumour has it Wayne Routledge will be moving the other. Most say it’s a loan but some say sale. I feel sorry for Wayne. When he’s not playing for the reserves he’s most likely throwing darts at a picture of Aaron Lennon. There’s no way he’ll get a game for us while Aaron’s on fire and he’s just too good to let go of. By all rights he should be on his way to a promising England career but Lennon’s got him there too.We’ll need Wayne Routledge some day this season. We’ve got 3 cup runs to make and that’s a fair few games. Those little Lennon legs’ll need some resting. It’s a big ask to wait that long, unless he’s just invested in a voodoo Lennon doll and a set of nasty pins. If The Bagel was a winger, I’d get my buns to Fulham.

The fresh one today is the loosely reported link between our good selves and the availability of one Boudewijn Zenden. Really? I mean really? I’ve got it. Maybe we’re trying to set one of those World Records, you know, like how many people can you fit into a Mini? Only with us, it’s like, how many surplus central midfielders can you fit in one club. Perhaps the plan is to form some sort of support group for the excess ones we already have. Danny and Mrs. Murphy’ll be hosting the ‘chats’ with Hossam Ghaly on the tea and Tom Huddlestone taking minutes and contacting the Women’s Institute and Rotary Club to organise the forthcoming beetle drive and collection of out of date tinned fruit for the harvest festival.

And now that I’m nice and eggy, I’m ready to talk about Jermain Defoe and I’d like to start by saying, ‘Don’t you bloody dare!’ In case you didn’t know Martin O’Neil is now in serious danger of being crossed off The Bagel’s xmas card list. He’s tempting the board with a £9m bid for the little Yiddo, like a trap baited with a green scented wedge of holey cartoon cheese. But a trap it is Levy & Co.! Do not let him go. Jermain’s time will come again and very soon. You mark The Bagel’s words.

I’m sure he’s going nowhere after comments from MJ akin to, ‘At last we’ve got our front line sorted,’ but you never can tell the craziness that can occur when that window’s nearly shut.

Hold fast the main sail and tie me to the mast. We’ll weather this storm I tell ye.

Hey, ho and a bagel of rum.

The Bagel.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 at 12:56 pm and is filed under Bagel News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.