Intermisson
Bless me Martin, for I have sinned. It’s been 3 months since my last Spurs game.
The personal shame I can cope with but the part that really hurts is there’s nothing I can say to you, my dearest friends, of the Inter game; how we played and who looked good. I haven’t even seen Tainio’s second goal yet. Very pleased to hear he netted a couple though.
I did, however, hear on the Yiddo grape vine, the Yid Vine, the grape Yid, you know what I mean, that our new left back, Mr. Benoit Assou-Ekotto was looking kind of tasty and very promising. The other interesting thing, other than the result and the fact we are as yet to fail to win a single pre-season fixture, is Obafemi Martins. Did anyone take much notice of him other than the tap in? Did he look good? Please let the Bagel know because it seems he’s raised a few eyebrows down at White Hart Lane.
Inter are claiming a £12m offer but I seriously doubt that’s anymore than characteristic hand waving and thumbing of front teeth and probably stemmed from a comment by Daniel Levy with the strength of say ‘Who’s that bloke with the funny boots?’ Mancini has been looking to offload the Nigerian and land himself a hardcore hitman of his own and whats more Martins would probably be content to compete with three other recognised strikers, residing currently at a club with eight, including Adriano.
The question is, do we want him? Well, firstly he’s not the back up big man we would prefer and secondly, I don’t know because I wasn’t at the bloody game! Sorry, I’ll work have worked it out of my system in a minute. Do let me know your opinions on this one.
Conversely, one player I’ve seen quite enough of is the fan in the shirt, Andy Reid and quite sensibly, it looks like he’s being used as a bargaining chip with Wigan on the potential Chimbondabonda deal. I’ve heard personal terms are proving rather tricky on this one, what with Whelanville United stalling on the unlimited weekly access to the Ginsters factory clause.
If that doesn’t tempt Paul Jewel to loosen his grip on our future Frenchman than there’s a theory that Danny Murphy will. Whatever possessed us to buy him? Half the squad drowning in the own body fluids, a crucial last fixture at Upton Park and he still can’t get a game. I’d imagine Marty J and the Tottenham crew are asking themselves the same question I just did. Still, if the rumours are true and he helps us get the right back we want, then so much the better.
Strangely, we’re beginning to look a little threadbare in the centre of defence. Ledley’s injury is of course a massive blow and with both him and Carrick now missing from last year’s XI there is a bit of a worry. Knee injuries are notoriously tricky, so everyone light a candle and say a prayer as our main man goes under the knife.
In the mean time, there is a most amusing rumour/terror going round the Irons (always thought that meant something else in Cockney Rhyming Slang but they’re the experts) that Anton Ferdinand may be coming our way. With a great season behind him, the skills to nearly match his brother and ten times the heart he would, I think we’d all agree, be a most useful addition to the team. The best bit though is that it would put further proof in the pudding that West Ham is our feeder club and my, would that pudding taste good and a whole lot better than last season’s lasagna.
And so to the left wing story. Downing. Again. £12m. Way too much. Probably not true. Don’t want him anyway. Getting a little sick of hearing his name.
Slightly fresher is the name Gareth Barry. Not that excited? Well, I understand that. He’s been a ‘promising player’ for years and still never delivered but he does have some sort of left foot, although not strictly winged and personally I’d put down his lack of development to remaining at one of the dreariest clubs in the Premiership club for eons rather than lacking the talent. This is a player who needs to move on, so why not give him a try in blue and white, or brown an gold if we insist on wearing that bizarre new kit.
More tomorrow and a lot sooner than midnight.
The Bagel is toast.