Every morning this week as I brush the breadcrumbs form my eyes, I switch on the news and my rumour machine, just waiting for the announcement that we’ve signed Ashley Young. I’ll see head line after headline:
“Young joins Spurs”
“Young at Hart, White Hart”
“Tottenham go Young to solve the left wing problem”
“Young’s a Yiddo”
etc, etc.
‘Jesus Christ!’ comes the shout from the back of the head in front of me. I don’t recognise this back of the head. The unfamiliar black grey mop is smoothed back into position by ruddy red fingers with a sovereign ring top. Composure regained, he’s back to his programme notes from Damien Comolli but this time, with half an eye on the players warming up.
…Babel.
A single source is reporting that we’re on the verge of signing Ajax ace Ryan Babel. The 20 year old can play as both a striker and a left winger since he’s bloody quick and can shoot with both feet. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this…
Going to have to keeop this rather brief, as like Ruud van Nistelrooy, I’m on the hoof.
So, things to take note of today. David Beckham’s signed for the LA Galaxy. Not strictly Spurs news, although we were supposedly one of 8,000 clubs on the list, which in fact consisted of every single team in all worldwide associations minus Barca, Real and the English top four, although I wouldn’t count the Scousers out. They’ll have anything. Do you think he signed for the club thinking it was the LA Galacticos?
With a reported deadline of Saturday, we’ve just 75 hours or so to secure the services of another decent centre half, if indeed we plan to buy left sider Ashley Young. Life hasn’t been made any easier, given the current defender drought, by another club declaring themselves thirsty for cover. Chelsea are keeping the prices tags nice and high but now Rat Face Roeder (with whom The Bagel does have no problem, it’s just that he does have the face of a rat) is having a nibble at the same slim pickings and naturally is willing to spend more of that silly wage money in order to get his man. Specifically, he’s sniffing around the cheese that is Anton Ferdinand and a very expensive one at a stinky £7m. A lot of bread for a lot of cheese.
Two bits of important news that just had to be on your desks by 9 o’clock sharp.
Right, where were we? Ah yes, smack in the middle of the transfer window with more rumours to discuss than you can shake a stick at, two sticks probably, maybe even a whole tree.
Yet another game on top of our two other cup runs and delicately poised league campaign was not exactly the answer we wanted from ninety minutes at Ninian Park yesterday. With two games a week are lined up for the rest of this month, it’s going to be hard on the players’ legs and hard on The Bagel’s wallet.
How very dare they! He’s ours. I’m not quite sure what gives us that claim but God damn it, by rights he’s ours. We’ve dreamt of the combination, designed by the gods for over a year now. The holy trinity, the golden triangle, the three as one that is Little Aaron, the little Yiddo and attack dwarf number 3, Shaun Philips. That beautiful vision has taken a knock today because both, of probably the two most reliable sports sources, are reporting that the Chelsea Prisoner is close to a deal that’ll see him run the full length of the District Line over to Upton Park.
An away game on New Year’s Day is a real blessing; a televised one, doubly so. I very much doubt I was the only Spurs fan with a whopping hangover at midday and getting ready or even up was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I missed the last January 1st home fixture we had, which I believe was voted game of the season; the 5-1 demolition of Everton two years ago. Instead, I lay on an uncomfortable sofa, nursing an aching head and dented ego after I’d been blown out by just about every female in London but not this year. No, this year it was my friend, Will, with his swaying figure and desperate last minute chat up line, who took the honours,
‘Would you like me to give you a kiss or a punch in the face? It’s your choice.’ Surprise, surprise he woke up in the same room as me, sharing a nearby section of hard wooden floor.
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