Beef Bagel

Two things must ye know about Beef Bagel:

1) The Bagel is exhausted

I love writing Beef Bagel, I love it. In fact, I am happiest with words in my head, my lap top at my fingers and the flicker of all things Spurs and beyond in my eyes. However, I simply can’t maintain the volume of material I’m producing on a daily basis anymore. Slowly but surely I have turned from a healthy, young, light, roll into a crusty, moulded, forgotten chunk of doe. If The Bagel is not careful, all that will be left will be my eyeballs and a claw at my keyboard. But panic ye not. I’ll still be here plenty, all I’m saying is I can’t promise every bit of news, every single day as was my intent. So, I recommed you getting me on the RSS feed thing. Not really sure how it all works but basically subscribe to mine and you’ll know when I’ve posted something without you having to check.

This also leads to number 2) because even when I’m not here there’s plenty of reason’s to come visit because…

2) We have a new forum!

It’s in its Beta testing phase, if you like but it’s ready to go. You can use your same log in details and develop your profiles and avatars and all sorts of excitory pokery. Who should start up front? Who should we buy? Who should we sell and indeed what is the average flight time of a laden swallow? So come by and let’s get arguing!

But whatever you do, keep ‘em peeled because very soon there’s a completely new, exciting and entirely unprecedented feature heading to Beefbagel.com. Don’t you dare miss out! You’re life just might depend on it.

The Bagel

I’m going to stop looking at the news. Each time I see the sports headlines another Tottenham player is injured. Our six lions have been reduced to 3 with Ledley, Little Aaron and JJ all out with two knocked knees and a calf respectively. On the one hand I’m glad this happened now rather than letting them train on and even play with their niggling complaints, crutches, bandages and all but on the other I’m a little distressed as we’ve got a tough game away at Blackburn at the weekend.

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As my phone buzzed for the first time this morning, I wondered what bill I had not paid, which institution had been ignored, who had wanted a piece of The Bagel. But what better way to start the day than a text from The Dave that read,

‘Have Spurs just signed a Brazilian left winger?’

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Wasn’t exactly a thriller last night at the Lane but then how could anything possibly compare with Sunday’s fireworks?

What bugs The Bagel though, yet again, is the media description of last night’s results.

‘Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal are all through, as are Spurs but they needed extra time to get passed Port Vale.’

We didn’t ‘need’ extra time we just ‘used’ extra time, that’s all. They make it sound like a struggle and effort, it was most certainly not. Tension? Oh, yes, there was some of that for a minute or two but I don’t recall seeing a single bead of sweat on any of our player all night. ‘Need extra time,’ I ask you!

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So, should be an interesting fixture tonight. That’s right, you heard me. I somehow doubt the atmosphere is going to be quite as electric as Sunday evening. In fact the level of electricity will probably be closer to that of the broken ignition spark on my gas hob here at the Bakery. I think a fly got wedged in between the two nodes and lost it’s life only to come close to reanimation every time I check to see if spark’s still broken.

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Ok, that’s it. Now, I’m pissed and not in the good way. So, we pour our heart and soul into that game. We make possible the impossible and finally, finally, good conquers evil. The spoils are rightly ours…so where the hell are they?

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No pain. No headache. Not a kebab in sight. I’m lying on a cloud, a bed so soft and pillowy it’s as if the angels themselves have been holding me as I slept. The sunlight shines a warm and delicate hue though the beige blind, not too bright to keep one awake but light enough to feel like each waiting day is a glorious summer. The walls, the carpets a luxuriant shade of cream and a cat of the same colour and class pads his way towards my head with a small a friendly meow.

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Big day, big day. Probably the second biggest home fixture of our calendar and one that The Bagel was unfortunate enough to miss last year but not this time. Yes, I shall be there front and centre and ready to throw abuse the way of Ashley Cole and hell, the whole team if it’ll do any good. As much as I’m looking forward to it, I’m under no illusions. We’ve got a fraction more than cat in hell’s chance of finally breaking that curse more mystical than that of Tutankhamun’s tomb. We’ve probably got two cats in hell. Hopefully, these stray pussies will be making their way across the River Styx as we speak, bribing Charon with their cuteness, rubbing about his legs until they convince him to row then over to the other side and maybe, just maybe by 6pm tomorrow they’ll be on the lap of the Dark One himself along with the memories of that hoodoo, that they-do, that hurts so much.

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It’s going to be a big few days at White Hart Lane with a UEFA tie this evening that could more or less see us through to the next round and a game on Sunday against Chelsea that is in some ways massive and others miniscule. What The Bagel can guarantee is that he will be there for both and there in full voice and wrapped up as warm as possible because damn it got cold all of a sudden. I’m hoping for a full house for good support, good atmosphere but most of all a bit of body heat and given that tonight is the second and final free cup game on the season ticket scheme, we should have just that.

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There’s a few people out there who say all the right things and Director of Football Damien Comolli is just such a man.

“We will never do what Arsenal have done.”

There’s plenty more to this quote that’s far, far more informative but this is the only bit I’m interested in. As soon as I read this, there was a big smile on The Bagel’s chops and even though my eyes read on, my brain just played ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ as it waited for my body to finish the article. The rest of it could have said anything.

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