Beef Bagel

Did we all watch Match of The Day last night? Good wasn’t it? That makes it two league loses in a row and three without a win doesn’t it Arsene?

‘Er…I did not see it.’

Really? Ahhh, you missed out it was great. That leaves our nasty neighbours within three points of ourselves and a at least 13 off the race for the title. I believe that’s ‘Goodnight Vienna’ and I’m not talking about taking a processed sausage to bed, although that may well be Mr. Wenger’s way of dealing with the situation.

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I remember our first home game this season when Little Aaron set up new boy, Dimitar Berbatov for his first goal in a Lillywhite shirt. Now it may have just been that the winger had done all the hard work but I’m sure we sung his name simply because we had nothing as yet prepared for our new hit man. Four months later and we’re still no closer to solving this problem. Even he’s noticed now…

“It’s probably because my name is too difficult for them to fit into a song.

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You’ve got to love You Tube. Sure you can see Mr. Spock’s crib…

…and even a man summoning up all of his Qi merely to run through a fence…

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When The Bagel approached me to write an article for BeefBagel.com, I was a little anxious. I’ll be honest with you - and prepare yourself for this – I am not a Tottenham fan. I actually support Man United. There. The truth is out there.

However, I like reading the BeefBagel, and I harbour no ill-feelings towards Tottenham whatsoever. I even harbour guilt over the Roy Carrol incident. Apologies to all the folks at WHL. Yes, you were robbed.

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I’m wide awake and my bladder’s full. I’ve no idea what the time it is. It’s light but then, it was light when I went to bed and when I say ‘bed’, I mean sofa. It was light when I went to sofa. Of course when I claimed the spot some x hours earlier, presumably not that many hours earlier because my eyelids are still stinging, it was more than just a mere settee. It was four poster, cream upholstered, 6 by 6, slice of slumber heaven with an individually pocket sprung mattress. It was the last refuge in the house and I had to fight for every inch of it. I look down at the floor a few feet away to where my defeated competitors lie with the few cushions I spared them as small protection between themselves and a hard wooden floor. The couple lie asleep. I think they’re asleep but then maybe they haven’t given up the fight just yet. Maybe it’s only been an hour or two. Maybe there’s more sleeping to be done and if I get up to relieve my bladder, maybe they’ll be awoken by my movement, my splashings into the bowl and maybe they’ll try to take my place on the sofa under article 38a paragraph c of the House Party Code, otherwise known as ‘The Law of the Jungle’.

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And there we go. Both red cards from Sunday will stand. Tugay is banned for one game and Boutros Boutros Ghaly for three. Glad we asked.

The Bagel.

Dag nam it. Actually, I’ve no right to be frustrated. Based on the performance, a point at Blackburn was a fair result. In fact, it was slightly more fair on us. There’s no way Tugay should have been sent off in the interests of a good game. Yes, technically he was the ‘last man’ but that rule is not there to send off players making honest but mistimed challenges in the box. Surely it should only be in place for keepers in a one on one and when the attacking player is on the break? Fair enough if the striker is brought down under pure cynicism but it’s just all rather frustrating. I don’t have a problem with the referees and the linesmen getting it wrong but the failure to apply common sense is inexcusable. When will one of them stand up for what they believe in?

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It’s all eyes on tomorrow’s game at Ewood Park and all about our temperament. MJ wants strength and discipline as well as our squad’s obvious footballing ability and really, when it boils down to it, we’re talking about a determination to win and if you want to finish high up in the table, you’ve got to play like we did against Chelsea. You have to want it with all your heart and every player must be prepared to run themselves into the ground with only one mantra running about their minds, ‘Win, win, win.’

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By popular demand, here’s her head…

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Why are we playing on Sunday? This is not supposed to be a pessimisitc comment based on our current league away form, which in case you’ve forgotten is 6 games, 4 loses, 2 draws, 2 goals scored, 1 by ourselves and none in open play. God that’s terrible. On second thoughts let’s just give the weekend a miss; wake me up on Monday. Come to think of it, with my future brother in law’s stag do on Saturday night, that’s a very real possibility.

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